Must not succumb.. must not succumb..

to dorkiness...

oh fuck.. I can't help it.

Right. So last year I gave myself the easiest possible fucking resolutions I could, in order that I might fulfill some. I actually did, but failed in half of them anyway, and I wasn't going to do it this year because (see yesterday) it's too depressing and if I fail (which I will) everything will be a disaster.

But, being a dork I am unable to resist doing the theme thing, so I have to come up with something, but instead of being sensible and going for something remotely attainable, I'm just going to go all out.

*In the coming year I will get a significant role in a semi major motion picture, which will pay extremely well and boost my *career* to a level where I will be getting regular fun, fulfilling and extremely well paid acting work. Being so sort after I will also be able to spend more time writing plays, perhaps a novel and making some short films of my own that will be very well received. Though I will be quite busy doing all this work that will bring me all sorts of acclaim and lots of money, I won't have to do anything else so I will spend the time blogging, taking photos, both which I will get much better at, and get a lot more notice due to my *fame*. I will also have the time and money to travel, and hang out and generally have fun.

It's looming..

It's that time of year again, the end part, the part where you're made to think about the next one coming and what you're going to do and what you're going to change. I don't really want to though. I had plans, before, to make the next year, or the general "near future" era to be the one where I finally do all the exciting things I've been meaning to do for ages, but I don't think I'll be able to do that now, I will have to concentrate all my attention on basically sorting things out.

So my aim for the next year is just to get things fixed enough so I can basically survive. I must toil and strive in order to get myself in a place that equals about where I was a year and a half ago, before I got more sucked back into this pit that I've been trying to scramble out of. So a whole lot of drudgerous work, and not much to gain from it, just the right to carry on surviving somehow, though not as well off as I was last year.

No, I shan't be making any resolutions this year. It's all a bit depressing really, and those resolutions are made to be broken. I deliberately made them as piss easy as I could last year, and even then I failed to keep half of them, and I really can't afford to fail in this one as it would mean the ruin of me, and I'd prefer to not go through that.

So I'll just try my best.

I shall have to find a reason to use this..

Word of the Day

bibulous \BIB-yuh-luhs\, adjective:

1. Of, pertaining to, marked by, or given to the consumption of alcoholic drink.

2. Readily absorbing fluids or moisture.
Vineyards are everywhere, especially when Felix approaches Paris, the most populous city in Christendom -- and the most bibulous too, since lousy local wine had to be drunk before it turned sour in a few months.
-- Eugen Weber, "Renaissance Men", New York Times, April 13, 1997

Ever since the joys of the fermented grape were discovered, the bibulous have been waking up feeling the worse for wear.
-- Sally Chatterton, "The Daily Website: www.hungover.net", Independent, September 3, 2001

Bibulous comes from Latin bibulus, from bibere, "to drink."

Dictionary.com Entry and Pronunciation for bibulous

Ah yes, the blog.

Well I'm back online, finally. If there's anyone out there still bothering to read I've been offline for almost a month now. You might remember me popping in just to let everyone know I was still around once during that time, but mostly I just haven't been able to update.

I was working most of the month, as Santa Claus came to town for the first time ever, at least in the capacity he was here, and I was required to take his photo with children who came by. It was an interesting time, fun, boring, tiring, frustrating, unusual..

It was as bit of a learn as you go sort of thing, it was a bit of a shambles to start with, too many people hanging around, hardly any people wanting our services, but it slightly came together, and by the end of the first week we'd figured out how to get the lighting right, had fixed up Santa to look something like Santa, and I'd learnt a bit about this whole photography thing so our photos were looking pretty good.

We still had some problems though, a few extra helpers around who were just there to be paid and get in our way, people who either didn't come at all or came at the same time, a problem because we printed the photos out on the spot which took some time, particularly when people wanted more photos or the larger photos, and you can't print and photograph at the same time, so people were waiting.. but we figured it out, and once it actually got sorta busy, right near the end of our time there, we had a sort of system, and the only problem then was that our main cashier/hostess left, disgruntled over something, and left me to do the cashier job as well as the printing and photography, as well as 80% of the greeting and explaining work to be done, as the 2 helpers we had with us daily didn't seem to happen to be around when that was needed, or if they were they happened to be looking another way.

It took me about 2 days before I could do the register thing without screwing something up, but hey.. I'm an artist, I shouldn't have to work under these conditions. Ok, so for the first week I couldn't figure out how to take a decent picture.. but I did learn these things in time.

So that was most of the month, I also had my usual business to tend to, which I didn't do a whole lot of, seeing as I was offline and at work all the time, and I had a visitor. That was fun. Then there was christmas, and now I'm back online.

Don't fret folks..

I'm still around. I am working quite a lot with Santa and the little people, but that's not the reason I've been neglecting you. I'm offline. Well.. not right at this minute but the regular way I do the internet is not happening right now so I'm not on as much as I usually am, thus things like letting my audience out there know what's up with my life is falling by the wayside.

So, apart from not being online I'm working a lot. I was supposed to be in a film today and yesterday but that fell through just like the others, instead I worked with Santa which I've been doing since December 1.

I'm getting reasonably good at this portrait photography thing, I totally sucked to begin with but after 2 or 3 days they started looking kinda good. After another 3 days they looked almost good and in another 3 days I might be able to call them good.

Been kinda slow so far, which is rather good really because we're learning as we go along, but tomorrow might turn out to be a busy day. Who knows.

I don't have any photos to show because the dude who runs it hasn't sent me the photos yet, and there are some good ones, particularly those of screaming scared kids who's parents insist on them being photographed with Santa. I've taken some of the place and the people there with my own new camera, but I can't upload them because I'm not on the internet. I mean I am now, and actually had a few photos prepared on a disc but this particular cafe doesn't accept no foreign objects.

That's all for now.

It's off to work I go.

It's been an exciting couple of days. I had a birthday on Thursday. I really didn't need another one, I've had enough of those already, but it came all the same. I had a relatively relaxing day, mostly stayed in and only got a little drunk, but it was fun.

Yesterday I got a new camera. This is extremely exciting. It's got a big zoom and everything, and it's got a memory card that fits like.. 1 million photos so I can snap and snap and snap and snap and not worry about it. I'm gonna have fun with this.

So, in about half an hour I'm off to meet Santa and friends, to get ready for the new job, which is "photographer". Sounds very swanky, but it's very simple, the camera's sitting there on a tripod and I just have to snap. Nevertheless I'm nervous, I'm naturally quite incompetent and manage to screw up the simplest of things, so I'm glad I'm going a bit early to go through the whole thing again. I had a sort of training on Wednesday where a guy came in and babbled out quickly how to use the printer and camera to about 8 people, and I'm not sure I picked up so much.

It's the first day, so hopefully it will be really, really, really, really slow. That will give me time to get used to the whole point and shoot and fiddle with the functions to print and then print again, all while being presentable and nice to people, I really need that time.

Damn... gotta go soon. Back in the evening.

Bring it on, already.

I need sleep. I just couldn't sleep last night and got woken up about yet another fixit related affair. This time I had to get up and run to another flat, that I don't live in to let them in, because the dude who lives in it wouldn't answer the phone. I didn't have time to wash my hair so it's greasy.

I'm going to be busy in December. I got a job photographing Santa Claus, who will be coming to town this year, for the first time, at least that is, for the whole of the month. So I'll be standing there in a Santa hat trying to get kids to stop screaming while their photos are taken. Should be a laugh, I'm doing it every day from the 1st until the 23rd except for the days I have off, for various reasons. Should be a laugh.

I'm gonna be in a film again. Actually I was going to be in 2, but the first film student who called me about a film changed the film she was going to be doing later on. Oh well. I was actually wanted for 3, but the 3rd person who called me was filming on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, which clashed with the first film I was called for, the one I'm not doing now, and with the job I'm doing, which all the films actually clash with, but I got the ok to get the days off for the first two, but figured it was pushing it for the 3rd one, especially seeing as it was for the first few days of Santa's inaugural Prague appearance. So I'm just in one. It's ok, I shan't be greedy this time. I don't know what the film is about though because the guy hasn't emailed me the script yet.

The next few days of November I have training for my photography job, the usual classes, a script to read (if I ever get it), and a birthday to get through, so I suppose I should get that sleep soon. Getting busy soon.

Beware the coming days..

Well I'm living with hot water again now.. and yes there's a funny little anecdote to be told there..

So, on Wed evening after my last rant, not having heard from anyone about this problem I got drunk. More drunk than I have been typically getting in recent months and I woke up with quite a headache, not quite a hangover yet, but the headache was there. So this fixit dude decides to call me just then. I answered it, he told me he was in the area and he could come and fix it now.. I stuttered out semi intelligebly that yes, he could come now, in about 5 minutes or whenever.

So in 5 minutes or whenever he was at the door, I had to go down and let him in, he set up all his crap in the hall and I went and sat in my living room as the hangover caught up with me, and the headache worsened. I sat there with my head resting on all the stuff I'd hurriedly thrown in that room from the hallway when the guy showed up.

He took FUCKING AGES! Like an hour and something. I felt like puking, but the bathroom is right by the hall where he was taking fucking ages to fix the water heater, and I didn't really feel comfortable with that. Bloody awful I tell you!

So anyway eventually it got done and I got to puke and do everything else I needed to, and could curl back up in bed to recover some more, now with heat, and running hot water.

Wow, glasses and hot water. It all seems too.. I mean.. I've even got a washing machine that sorta works though it leaves all my washing soaked. And I went to class last night and it didn't suck terribly.. things are just going too smoothly, I mean, apart from the chaotic business, the boozer I share the thing with who drives me crazy constantly, the card thingy for the camera that fucked up that I haven't replaced, the buttons that keep falling off my coats, not having any lovers that live in the same country as me, everything is just swell.

It's kind of frightening. There's definitely doom on the horizon. And no, I'm not negative, I'm just a realist.

Does everything have to turn into a bloody saga round here!

I'm still without a working heater in my home. I've mentioned it before, quite a while ago as it's been kind of long by now.

I think it's been about 2 weeks, give or take.. it started when it got cold, rather early for this time of year so I started heating. It went back to being warmer, and then colder again a few times so I turned it on and off more than once. The last time I turned it on I had it on during the day because I had stuff hanging up to dry, and when I got home it seemed unusually cold, and I noticed that the fuse had a spark but it wasn't alight. I checked the heater and it wasn't on at all.. so I turned the thing off.

The next day I hoped it would miraculously come back, but it didn't, but I didn't do anything about it for a day or 2, then I decided I really wanted the heating on so I fiddled around with it a bit, trying all the different combinations, turning the water on, seeing if it would make the flame come back. It didn't, and it still wouldn't do it when I returned it to the normal setting I use when I'm not heating.. meaning the hot water wasn't even coming on. Again I left it, hoping it would work again when I tried it the next day. It didn't.

This is a really interesting story.. I know...

So, it was a few days before the rent was due, so I didn't really want to contact the landlord yet so he wouldn't come in and say "oh why don't you just give me the rent money now, seeing as I'm here".. because I didn't have it. Luckily I had somewhere I can shower.. so it was possible to live without it for a few extra days.

On rent day, he came, I paid and I told him about the problem. It was a Friday so nothing could be done again til Monday, and I could have called him and told him about it earlier so the dude could have come in and fixed it.. but due to being locked out most of the day (another saga that I won't get into right now) I had other things on my mind.. but he told me to remind him about it Monday, and he'd get it sorted out.

On Monday.. which I believe is last Monday now, he sent me a message telling me he'd get hold of the fixit dude and he'd call me. If he didn't call then I was to call him on ..fixitdude's number...

The dude didn't call, so of course I put off calling him another few days for no reason except for that is the way I do things. When I called him he asked me first what type of water heater it was, something I don't usually take note of, and not being home I didn't know, I told him I'd go home and look and call him back. I didn't go home until the evening.. but the next day.. I believe this was Friday.. I called. I was standing in front of the water heater, prepared.

He asked me what type it was, I told him the brand name, the one that was written on the thing.. and for some reason that wasn't sufficient, he asked me some other questions which I didn't understand. He kept repeating something about type, or brand, which I'd already given him the answer to, so I don't know why it wasn't good enough. I explained the best I could what the problem was with it, no heat, no hot water, the fuse doesn't light up.. and that wasn't good enough either. Why he couldn't just bring his fat ass over with the tools he uses for every single machine he fixes no matter what the problem is, look at the fucking thing, and fucking fix it was beyond me.. but I didn't say this.. He kept repeating the same questions, (the ones I'd answered) and we got nowhere. Finally he suggested I look at it properly and text him about it later. Seeing as I'd already answered the questions I could understand this was completely useless to me.

So I called the landlord, explaining the problem. Seeing as he'd been there, looked at it, and described it exactly the same say as I'd told the dickhead on the phone, I figured he could sort it out for me. He said he'd call the guy as soon as he could.

I didn't here from either the rest of the day. Being a Friday, again, I thought maybe I would here again from one of them after the weekend. Today is after the weekend and I've still heard nothing. I sent an sms to the landlord reminding him of it.. and I'm yet to here any reply.

I'm not sure whether the landlord completely forgot to call the guy, or if he called the dickhead and the dickhead just ignored it or forgot it, or what. All I can hope is that one calls the other soon, the other one contacts me and we set an appointment for sometime this week.. most likely later in the week.

And of course it's fucking freezing. I mean, it's not so much now, but in general it is. Yes, I have somewhere else to shower but it's a pain in the ass to have to go somewhere else.. and it's cold in the flat.. I don't even want to get up in the morning. Well I don't want to get up in the morning anyway.. but that's not the point...

The point is that everything is fucked. Fucking fucked!

And I thought I was all clever and stuff...

Get a Cash Advance

You have got to be fucking shitting me!! For those who don't know, in proper English elementary school means what in Australia would be primary school, and something else everywhere else I think, but basically school for little kids up to about 12. The funny thing is I naturally put a bunch of different URLs in the thingy, and it made no sense. Blogs that should be considered particularly clever got high school, and some that are just personal blogs that are certainly no more witty and informative than mine (ok maybe a little) came up as "genius".

So I'm not taking it seriously. I mean, elementary school! With all the big words and stuff I use? I don't think so.

Wow. Those things are actual.. things!

I got my new glasses today. It's been 10 days I've been stumbling around without them. I should have gotten them sooner but it usually takes me about a week and then about a day to finally really think about maybe going somewhere and possibly doing something about something, so I went to the optics shop yesterday, picked out my frames and picked them up today.

It is amazing. A whole new world opened up for me.. it's like.. all those wobbly things that are out there.. that move and change and interact with other wobbly things.. they're actual things!

I mean, things like people and cars, and buildings.. dogs and windows and road signs.. those sorts of things. Tables and speakers and fridges.. appliances, coffee mugs, cd cases, computer screens...

words.. letters. It all makes sense now.

And the stupidity continues..

There's only so much patience a person has, and I'm not a person with a lot of patience. I can deal calmly, even nicely with a person who's severely fucked up out of a sense of compassion to the helpless for about.. oh 5 seconds.

And then I just want to kill...

It's been longer than 5 seconds.

So much for that then

I thought I was back in the habit of blogging properly for a minute there but it seems like I'm still as lazy, preoccupied or whatever the fuck else it is I am to do it. Oh well.

Life has been uneventful but frustrating at the same time. Absolutely nothing going on except that bits and pieces of my life are falling to pieces. Little things.. like.. well it's not such a little thing.. my hot water heater deciding not to work.. first just the heaters weren't coming on.. which was mildly annoying because it is getting very cold, and a bit more annoying because coupled with the fact that my washing machine doesn't work properly and gives me the clothes soaking wet at the end of the wash it's too cold in the flat to dry the stuff. Then the hot water wouldn't work either.. and because it's coming up to rent time, and I want to push for paying it a day or 2 late, I didn't want to call the landlord to have someone fix it, because he might say.. oh I might as well pick up the rent while I'm there.. so it's been like that for days.. I do have somewhere to wash.. but not really properly and my clothes all need to be washed.. and my flat is a mess because the clothes are all over the place.. and I can't wash dishes properly.

I have one winter jacket that I've had for years.. it's too small for me and the buttons are all falling off.. it's inadequate enough usually but particularly this winter.. which is particularly cold.. considering it's not even winter yet and I'm calling it winter.. and I really need something better. Or at least something with buttons on it.

Then I lost my glasses. I wasn't even drunk. I went to meet someone to read through his play with him with some other people and by the time I got there I didn't have them. I thought I'd left them at home but when I came back they were nowhere. I searched and searched and searched.. and nothing. I must have dropped them somewhere on the way to this dude's place. I'm an idiot.

Oh and of course there are the usual problems.. whining people.. money!.. or lack of it.. the fucking class that I really have to fucking go to tonight because I haven't been fucking going to at all.. and it's fucking dark, and fucking freezing.. I think I mentioned that.. and all I want to do is.. well.. I'm not telling but I just don't want to do anything else.

Yes, this is completely fucking retarded.

So I'm going to post it.

Boreded Cieling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded the skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated it.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat
called no waterz urths and waters oscunz. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat
screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez
day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry
createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes,
so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.

And no, this is not substance.

It goes on...

Been an interesting weekend. I celebrated a birthday, (not mine) hung out, set my hand on fire (not too badly, so nothing to worry about) wore a gold thing for a friend who designs costumes and took tons and tons of photos.

Now it's Monday, and luckily for me it's all scriptwork all the time this week, so I will be going to my class without having to worry about the usual crap. I was planning on writing a post of substance today but I'm a bad little blogger and I'm too lazy.. I might think about doing it one of these days.. maybe. Or maybe not. I'll see.

So I'm just rambling on to remind people that I'm here and not going anywhere. Later.

The making of...

The Master at Work
Originally uploaded by erikland.

I was going to write something today, something great, something big. But the day is getting older and I just can't wrap my brain around it right now. So I'll present you with a photo. Of me. Me during the whole photographic process. Watch and learn how it's done.

Photo taken by Erik, recent visitor to Prague and fellow photo taking nerdy type.

The beast speaks

Seeing as I appear to be writing regularly again, I might bring back one of my old traditions..
the old Wednesday bible interpretation. This is where I pick a random bible verse and give a couple of explanations on what it just might mean. Please keep in mind that the interpretations are extremely liberal. And just in time for Halloween, today's is:

REV 13:11... "And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he
had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon."

a) All of a sudden a strange beast came out of the ground, I was rather rattled because I'd been having a rather pleasant walk, and wasn't expecting it, but anyway, the creature was very strange and looked sort of like a sheep but not really because it had horns, and I've never seen a sheep with horns, and it spoke to me. Something rather awful it said, but I got the basic idea from it that you should be good and nice to people otherwise something terrible will happen and you'll end up having to spend time with these hideous beasts for all eternity.

b) And the BEAST came out of the EARTH and said something garbled through his dragonlike way of speaking, which certainly meant that GAYS and WANTON women and anyone who doesn't agree with everything that GOD says, which just so happens to be everything that I believe and want to believe, will burn in HELL. And have an awful time while there here on earth too.. and just in case I don't , it's ok for me, and in fact it's my DUTY to make sure they have a horrible time while they live.

c) I swear I'm not on drugs dude.. I really saw it!

Heavens.. I am really rusty.

Welcome back.. if you're around

The internets seem to be warming up again. Some long lost bloggers who I had despaired of ever encountering again seem to be reappearing. I'm guessing it's the Northern winter, it's colder, the days are shorter, and people are staying in and hanging on the computer rather than going out into the world and having lives. It's great to see! It still remains to be seen if a certain someone who shall not be named will return with yet another incarnation of his blog that has self destructed and re-invented itself many times.. but we shall see.

I feel better too. Or at least I thought so. When I woke up I felt remarkably clear and I could open my eyes. I was coughing a little but compared to the previous stuffiness and glued-eyes syndrome it was nothing. Then I kept coughing and over the day developed a violent hacking cough that is really pissing me off. Oh well.. at least it spells the last days of my cold. By tomorrow I should be coughing a little less and should be well enough to not have an excuse to not go to my class, which I'm seriously considering not going to anymore, and to do other stuff that I've been using any excuse to avoid doing.

Dammit!

Hi there again..

So you folk out there, and I mean both of you, are probably wondering how I am these days? Perhaps you're not, but I will tell you anyway.

I'm sick. A bit bored. Dissatisfied with things, worried about a lot of stuff, feeling lonely and kind of empty. Apart from that everything's great.

I've been feeling slightly sick since last week, just before my performance. Luckily on the night of the performance I only had a sore throat and didn't start with the sniffles until the morning after, this went on for 2 days and this morning I woke up still sniffling, with a hollow throat, coughing, and my eyes glued together. It was rather unpleasant. I feel sort of better now, but I keep coughing and my throat is very sore.

I'm bored. Did I say that already, well I'm bored. Probably because I'm sitting here instead of going out doing things because I'm sick. I would have gone to class if I wasn't, but I kind of didn't want to go anyway, I'm having a hell of a time coming up with the activities and doors, rather, I'm not coming up with them at all, and now it's getting harder, the reasons have to be more specific and important and all that, I wasn't even coming up with stuff to make the old standards, so I'm just worrying about it. I might stop going. I don't know.

There isn't much else to say, since the playreading is over, and my friend who visited recently is gone, my life is pretty pointless.

Oh don't go worrying or anything, it's not that bad really, I just like grumbling. Grumble grumble.

Back to reality

I don't know if I've written recently enough to tell anyone that I was going to be doing a playreading, an Irish play written by a woman living in Prague?

Well I've already done it. Last night. It was a reading, not a full production, but we kind of got carried away with it. Meaning there was a lot of rehearsal, it was fully blocked out, we more or less knew our lines, so other than the fact that we had the scripts, it was poorly blocked, not quite rehearsed enough or very well thought out, it was almost a full production.

I had kind of a problem with the whole "doesn't know what it wants to be" aspect of it. I mean if we were sitting down reading, it would be fine. If we rehearsed long enough to know our lines, movements and all the emotional shit inside out it would be fine (though I would have been panicking much more I think). But it was something in between. And being a reading the actual words are important, so we were discouraged from paraphrasing or improvising bits that we weren't sure about the words, and encouraged to read when we had to, but being very movement orientated, this was next to impossible in a lot of scenes.

We performed in a restaurant that has a cosy back room. An Italian restaurant actually, right by the pizza oven. We did 2 shows because the seating area was very small, and wouldn't fit all our friends, and other people that are involved in stuff like this.

The play is called Sacred Sow. It's about murder, incest, love, hate, friendship and international relations. Pretty much. I played 2 characters. Evelyn, the sister of the main dude Sean, who flirts with a Czech visitor, pretty much all she does, and Grainne, Sean's girlfriend/half sister who gets murdered by his mother. And comes back as a ghost. That's all I'm saying. I had different costumes for the 2 and had to run out and do a quick change, so people would actually get what was going on.

The performance went pretty well. At least I say that now. After the first run I really thought I hadn't done well and it had been much better in rehearsal. The second run was better in some ways and worse in others, and I left out a bunch of my text, but everyone afterwards told me how good I was, which is what they always say so it's basically meaningless, but now that I look back I think I did ok. And everyone else was good, it lifted things to a different level actually being there with an audience.

And that's it. Nothing going on now. Life is boring.

A photo from me

Seeing as I'm not writing much these days.

I should write something, really...

I've actually been doing stuff. I have a playreading I'm rehearsing, that is, not a full production of a play, but a sit down reading in a cafe somewhere, but we seem to be making a big thing of it, and there's a lot of work so I'm rehearsing for that a lot, I'm reading 2 roles for that.

And.. oh the class. That's 2 nights a week. And rehearsals for class, which is just practice for what we're doing, which I haven't been doing so much so it doesn't count. Hmmmmm.

And life. You know the usual. I've been...

Ok, so not much of that. Well, there's getting drunk with the dude here and other people I know, or rather getting drunk with him and sometimes other people who he knows, and getting up to all sorts.

Not that I get up to all sorts of course. Me! Ha. All sorts? Never. Just a few drinks here and there...

A movie..

What I woz in.

You can see more here.

I suck

I'd like to send out a congratulations to Mr Angry, fellow blogger and Aussie/insert whatever slang/insulting word you use in your part of the world to refer to Australians, that is if you've even heard of them. He's gonna be on telly, due to being a very talented and popular blogger/youtube thingy creator. Good on ya mate! It's nice to see people get rewarded for their work.

Now.. guess who's not gonna be on telly? Guess who's never, ever in the entire future history of the world going to be on television, in a major film or in fact anything acting related that is done professionally and well paid? Can you guess who?

Well if you guessed me then you guessed right. Now, do you want to know why I'm never ever going to be in anything that ever gets seen by people? I hope you do, because I'm going to tell you.

I went to a casting today. It's for a Nokia ad, and I found out about it because someone told me about it last night and suggested I go to it. I'm not with any agency currently so I haven't been going to these castings, and really didn't know what to expect.

So, I arrived there. There were lots of people just waiting around. I went to the front desk, filled out the form then looked like an idiot because I didn't fill out the agency I'm with. Nice start. I talked a bit to this girl I know from class, who was there for the same reason, then all the women were called into the casting room.

I appeared to be the only non model who is anywhere near or over 30 there. I wandered if Brian had forgotten to mention, or handn't known that they wanted models specifically, or if it was just a coincidence. I wasn't too pleased to be doing the silly casting thing in front of all these people, including someone I know from class.

The casting woman (whatever you call these people) called up two girls before me to do their thing. They had to walk cats and get all confused and be self conscious. The cats were a bag and some stuffed toys on a string. The first girl did pretty well, considering the silly circumstances, the second girl looked a bit more uneasy.

Then I had to get up. I fucked up right from the beginning, I started to do the introduction while she was taking my picture. Then I had to do the cats thing. I didn't even try to act, or if I was trying it was so dreadful I shouldn't have tried it. I was too busy just getting the movements right, she was telling me to move right, move left, which I actually also got wrong first, then to tangle the lines up together, look around, look confused. Every second she was telling me some specific movement to do so I was just following that. And it was dreadful.

Then she said everyone who was done could go, and pointed at me. Sure, I had already done mine, but so had 2 others, but I suppose they were considered good enough to try for one of the other parts. I obviously wasn't.

Well, the worst part isn't that I sucked so monumentally badly, or that I'm ugly, fat and old. The worst part is that I'm ugly, fat and old and I sucked monumentally in front of the major casting agent in Prague. I've been putting it off but I've been meaning to sign up with her agency for a while and was planning to do it in the next week or so. Now, I don't know. She's seen me, seen what I can do, or rather what I can't do, and the chances if I sign up with her that I'll ever get sent for anything ever are nil. Exactly nil.

So I'm feeling a bit shitty right now if you don't mind.

An eveing with God

I found this via Pharyngula and I thought seeing as it's Sunday, it's a good time to enjoy a few miracles and chuckles. Hosted by a couple of goofy Australian dudes.

Who Would Jesus Stiff?

I went to my usual class again last night. Well it's not all that usual, I've been missing a lot of classes lately due to a major block in creativity. I sucked. I did a door and it was bad. Everyone else in the class was brilliant so I feel extra crappy in comparison to everyone.

But it doesn't matter. What matters is the beer. After class we went to the pub. We sat around, drinking beer, talking, laughing and trying to outdo each other in wit and charm. I won of course but I don't think anyone recognized that I did.

After a bit of joking around JP, a member of our christian family started talking about Jesus to a member of the class, and from what I could understand was trying to "save" him. It didn't appear to work, though the guy was listening to him, he was obviously treating it as a joke.

But JP was not deterred. He turned to John, another class member who had become interested in the conversation. They began a debate which included a lot of stuff I'd heard before from reading about this a lot on the internet, JP was saying the prayer you need to say to let Jesus into your heart and talking about His great gift that you just have to accept, while John was asking a lot of typical questions of skeptics. I listened in to most of it as I found it interesting. Both were very committed to their views but it stayed civil, and when they finished talking they were still friends who both believed exactly what they believed before they began the conversation.

JP was obviously in the mood for some Jesus talk, he turned to me and asked if I wanted to get the gift of getting into heaven (or something like that) and I told him I don't believe there is a heaven, and he said ok and moved on to the guy next to me, who gave his own reason for not wanting to listen to it, and JP left it.

So it was ok. Nice guy if a bit young and idealistic, though that's just my opinion. Then it was time for them to go. JP and his group left. It didn't look like he'd left money so we figured he'd paid at the bar for their group. Whatever, we carried on...

but, about an hour later, when the last of us paid the bill there was a discrepancy. Everyone paid for their own, but there was some mysterious beers left over.

The Christians didn't pay!

Seriously.

Moral of the story is, if you're going to try to make people follow your religion by promising them a gift of love and an afterlife full of happiness and plenty, then don't leave them with your bill.

Seriously, pay for your beers Christians. You'll get more converts that way.

Nothing to say, nothing going on.

So I'll leave you with some links.

I write some stuff for other sites every now and again. Well, I wrote a few articles for one site a few months ago and haven't bothered to do more since, but anyway, it's here.

A friend of mine also writes for the site, just much more than I do, and has a lot of interesting facts about beer that you never knew, plus some travel stuff and some crap about sports and other stuff. He also writes other articles about beer, and crap about sports and stuff here.

And if you happen to remember, this isn't the only blog I keep. No, I also have 1000 Words my photoblog, and Draw on my Boobs. I won't tell you what that is if you don't even know, just to get you to click.

Apologies if I've linked to this stuff before. Well, actually no, I mean I have linked to them before but by now I know no one's looking at the stuff, so there.

Query of the day.

Why is it that mobile phones all make some annoying obnoxious sound when you turn them off? It makes no sense. Turning the phone off usually means not wanting to be disturbed by noise. There are many reasons for this, but a lot include being in a meeting or class or something that requires no interruptions. Like me, I have an acting class 2 nights a week and we're required to turn off our phones.

Fair enough, that's the way things are done in the modern world. So, when I get to class I press the button down really hard for it to turn off. Usually about the time class starts when I'm reminded of that damn thing by the teacher telling us to turn all phones off. About 30 seconds after doing that, this stupid, silly sounding tune goes off lasting about 5 seconds. And every time, I get a withering stare, and a comment like "phones off please".. and I'm like.. "what do you think I was fucking doing?".

The stupid thing is when I turn the thing back on, when I'm ready to go back out into the world where there's noise and communication and everything goes, all I get is a beep. One little beep. I I mean, who cares? It doesn't matter anymore. Make as much noise as you fucking like. I could probably tolerate a small beep like that while turning the phone off, though I'd still prefer silence, as I don't see the reason for it to make any noise at all.

The only thing I can think of is that they want you to make extra sure you know you're turning you're phone off. So you press the button, there's a pause, then then a little jingle that says, "you're turning your phone off now... ok?... just letting you know the phone is going off... um, sure you want the phone off.. you are aware that no one will be able to reach you during this time.. ok.. ok turning off now"... fade to black.

Just in case you weren't aware that pushing down really hard on that particular button was going to do that, or perhaps they think you will do it accidentally. I guess I'm just being saved from my own stupidity. I should thank the phone people.

If I could get more deals like this...

Toes
Originally uploaded by Ms Kat.

These are my toes. Aren't they pretty? Well, they're more than just pretty, they could possibly become my meal ticket, and if that sounds kind of icky to you, it's probably because you're not a sick perverted fuck, like the gentleman who left this comment..

Oh my! Im sure you must get this a lot but both you and your toes are just so amazingly beautiful! Simply just perfection! You are just a true foot goddess and probably dont even know it! haha. ..And yes, by now m sure you can guess that I have a bit of a foot thing, though there is much to be respected and admired about a woman maybe this one seems odd, but thank you for sharing the pic and your open mind and non judgement of it.

Ok, that's not all that weird, though he gets me wrong if he thinks I put up photos of myself and my feet for some weirdos out there to get off on, but nevermind.. the next one is better..

And this may seem like an odd request but would you maybe be willing to sell a pair of your old socks or shoes from those gorgeous feet of yours? Perhaps a pair you were gonna throw away anyway? I realize this might seem like a strange request but I promise Im a very nice person and Id be willing to pay very, very well for them? Would $100.00 be okay? Please? Thank you for any consideration. You can contact me at Patdementri@yahoo.com. thanks again

Ok it's weird, but what do you think? If I could pick up a few more similar fetishists I could rake it in! Get a few old socks, get them smelly and sweaty and sell them, for $100 a piece! Once I get famous I can sell them for more. I don't have so many socks but once I run out I can buy a bunch more for say, about $1 each, and make quite a decent profit. I just have to wear them in for a while.. I can even take photos of myself wearing the socks, and send a signed copy.

I got this one figured out.

Big screen

Tomorrow is the screening of the films I did last week, it's at a small cinema that plays mostly independent films, and the films from students at PCFE are usually showed there when they're done. I've seen myself on the screen there about 2 or 3 times in the past, but never so much of myself! For one, I've never been in more than one film per class, and they've usually been the smaller roles, so I only had to watch myself while being aware of everyone else watching me for a few seconds, but this time it will be for a few more seconds, and 4 times or more!

This time I'll have to sink in my seat as the me on the screen admonishes her boyfriend for being too idealistic, as I turn up my nose and snicker at a mad artist who wants to display in my gallery (while wearing my hair in a bun, and nerd glasses, which probably made me look really really old).. while I sit in a bar picking up a guy and smooching with him in a messy flat.. and last but not least as I act the cliched, sexy but evil lady, switching from sweet to mean trying to extort information out of a man..

The last one I'm definitely looking forward to seeing, if not just to see how much my cleavage will show at 5 times life size, but because the movie was fun. It was a bit scary, seeing as I had to improvise a lot, but I enjoyed it more than the others, perhaps it shows some deep dark part of my psyche that I've been hiding up til now:).. who knows.

A lot of it was scripted, but in 2 parts I had to totally pull what I said out of my ass.. for want of a better expression. There was one bit where me and Dave (my interrogator partner's name) had to just ask questions. Any questions, stupid questions, hard questions, embarrassing questions.. just one question after the other. One from me then one from him. We were given a sheet with examples which we could use, and we could make up some. So I asked how old he was, where he was born, mother's maiden name, how many times he masturbated, favourite colour, favourite pasta, do you like sex... and on and on. We did it about 3 times, while being filmed. There were a few times when I was totally stuck, and sat there for a few seconds with nothing coming out.. it seemed like Dave (or John, which is the actor's name, a guy in my acting class) was just rolling them off without any trouble.. and I was just thick or something, but afterwards he said it was just as difficult for him.

The other terrifying moment was when we did the improvised interrogation bit. Both me and John had our chance to individually interrogate the man, and we were just to come up with something, anything, the director had faith in us. At the moment he said "action" I still had absolutely no idea what to say or do.. then I just started. I did something.. it seemed completely stupid to me but the director thought it was ok.

And that was it, hard bit over. In fact it was the end of filming for the week so I was free, and of course it took about 5 minutes before I wanted to do it all again.

Now I get to to relive the glory of that week for just a little while as I schmooze with the film people once again. I am, however planning on showing up just slightly late. I'm not sure I can sit through all of it, so much me on screen... I know it's stupid of me, but that's what I'm like.

I'll get my hands on the dvd of all the films this time though.. and I'll be able to watch all of them in the non-excrutiating comfort of my own home.

Damn that 15 minutes went quick..

The movie making has been over for a few days now, but I'm still wistfully pining for the bright light in my eyes and rolls of cellophane and sticky tape everywhere. Not to mention the free lunches. All last week I was looking forward to when it was finished and I didn't have to stress out about being good enough in all these damn films, but as it always is with things like this, as soon as it was over I wanted to do it again.

There's a screening of all the films on Friday. I was in 4 of them so I'll be able to soak up a bit of flattery and spend the evening feeling like a real thespian who's actually done a bit of something once. And then it'll be all over and I'll feel empty again.

Hopefully there'll be more of these in the future, but I don't know if there are anymore summer courses, or indeed what other courses are there.. and it's been 2 years since the last time I was in any of the films so I'm not holding my breath to be in any more of them too soon.

I'll have to find myself something else to fill up my time. Go to class maybe. That might do something for me.

Back to school.

It's back to class tonight, summer break is over. Actually it was over last week, but I was too busy making films then to go. So, I'm ready and raring to go!

Well no. It's been about a month since my last class, so I should have a good reserve of doors and activities, but I don't. I haven't even thought about it in all that time, it's 3:22pm and I have to leave for class at 6 tonight and I still haven't thought about it.

I did try to start thinking about it a few times, but after about a second it all seemed to hard, so I gave up. I just know that I can't think of a damn thing, but I need to start thinking about it soon if I want to actually come up with something....

. . . . . . . . . . . .

no.. still nothing. Well, I got 2 hours and 25 minutes to have something prepared.

That all done then..

I may have mentioned the last time I spoke to you that I would be largely absent this week due to being in hot demand as an actor for a bunch of student films being made..

well.. I was largely absent this week, due to being in hot demand as an actor.. it was for a bunch of student films being made for the PCFE film school here in Prague.

A quick recap of the week:

On Monday morning I played a young lady, a sort of social climber, kind of useless but ambitious for her boyfriend who was an academic. He was more into the ideological side of things and exposed a Professor who was stealing money, lost his job and she left him because she wanted to be the wife of a big shot. It was filmed in a flat nearby, and I got coffee and some croissants and thingies from the bakery.

After lunch I went to the film school to meet another guy who wanted me for a small role for his film. It was about an artist, and I played a snobby art gallery owner who turned up her nose and ridiculed him for being a deranged psychopath who thought he saw visions of the future and painted them.

Tuesday and Wednesday I was free, because though I was obviously the best actress around, (as well as the best looking, most charming, and most fun) the filmmakers, being predominantly men, made films about men stuff, and my roles were not the central ones. I was only needed for 1 out of the 2 days it takes to shoot one of these films. It's just as well though, for if the female roles had been bigger and I'd been needed for the whole shoot, I wouldn't have been able to do half these films, and then what would these poor directors have done?

Thursday I played a woman who'd been pickpocketed by a young man. She followed her thief to a bar and confronted him, seduced him, slept with him and stole all his stuff. I got a beer and lunch at a restaurant out of it.

On Friday I played an interrogator. I was a woman who runs a business extorting money out of people. Myself and another guy (who is in my acting class) were interrogating a man, the same one who played the artist I was rude to earlier in the week, and asked a whole lot of silly questions, took turns being sweet and being aggressive and we did some improvisation. It was difficult and when I was called on to do it I thought I wouldn't come up with anything, but I did it, and quite well too. This one was definitely the most fun to do, and I also got lunch. Oh and I got paid better than for the other films. Did I mention I got paid too? Well I got paid too.

The films should be edited and ready for screening by next Friday.

Another photo..

Beer in pub
Originally uploaded by Ms Kat.

As you seem to like those. This is a beer, this is in a pub. I went there the other night after the casting I went to, which has now yielded me roles in 4 different films. I'll be shooting almost all next week so it looks like I'll have to take a break from blogging again, as well as class which starts up again then.

I have a few scripts to go over on the weekend, but I think most of them will end up being mostly improvisation, which I should be good at by now, so it should be cool.

Where'd that cat get to?

It's been a disgustingly long time since I last posted and for that I'm sorry.

So what have I been up to? Well.. not much. In fact, it's frighteningly similar to nothing. I've been on holiday sort of.. not that I do much to holiday from but the class I was doing, the one thing that I actually ever did, had a summer break. I go back to class next week, or maybe I won't. I don't know.

Actually I may have to miss the first week, because I'll actually be too busy. I'm going to be in some movies actually.. yes, I finally got in a few of these student films I keep going to castings for. It's been about 2 years since I've been in a film from the PCFE film school, but now all these directors want me to act in their films.. so I'll be doing that most of next week. Hopefully I'll get some money too.

Not much else to say really. Hope everyone's well.

Not that you'll care..

Here's a photo for you, seeing as no one seems to care about anything I write anymore... (grumble grumble grumble)

My, I'm so honoured...

I just found out that this blog is the number one google search for how to fit bigger things in your arse. Strangely enough it's linked to a post that has little to do with the subject. And it's some Australian that looked it up too. What does it all mean? Do I want to know?

Of course now that I've posted about it I'll get a deluge of people looking for new sick stuff. I just can't seem to shake the perverts, no matter what I do..

What was that I was saying about moderation?

You remember the other day when I was complaining about how it got all suddenly hot, right after it stopped raining. Well it rained again. Actually it rained a few times over the last week, always during the night, and we always went back to the same oppressive heat.

Last night it rained again, and I was quite listening to it, it got louder and louder, started pounding against my building with super force, and I just couldn't sleep. I was thinking about what I'd seen in the news about the floods in the UK, they said that some areas had received a month's worth of rain in one day.. you know, like some sky god creature had emptied a big fucking super bucketful of water at once instead of letting it trickle out a bit at a time.. or something like that, and I thought "fuck, it's gonna flood again".

I eventually drifted off to sleep expecting today to bring tidings of big water and metros closing. When I woke up it didn't seem like much was going on, but it was much cooler, for which I was grateful, so I'm not going to grumble about it being overcast and rainy again.

Except for that I was planning on spending some evenings, in the hour just before the sun goes down walking around attractive areas of the city, getting lovely photos. There is no better time to take cityscapes than that part of the day, when it's hot and sunny, I should know, and yesterday I went for a brief walk, took some mediocre photos telling myself I'd go further and get better ones tomorrow.

Well it's tomorrow today and it's been cloudy, which just doesn't work. So I guess I am grumbling.

Does it still count if your name makes you sound like a porn star?

Abstinence Only Ed is in trouble! This is indeed a problem, as it's one of my favourite subjects to ridicule in the whole wide world! For those that don't know, in America, they have this form of sex education in schools, which is basically summed up as "Kids, don't do it", and it's in danger of not receiving more funding to continue. But never fear! It's supporters are fighting to save it,

“You have to look at why sex was created,” Eric Love, the director of the
East Texas Abstinence Program, which runs Virginity Rules, said one day, the
sounds of Christian contemporary music humming faintly in his Longview
office. “Sex was designed to bond two people together.”

Actually I thought it was for the propagation of the species, though over the years we've figured out how to fuck without having to have a baby every time.. which I tend to think is a sign of being civilized.. but carry on..

To make the point, Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off two
fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they trapped
dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get married,
the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy strips.
“Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.”

Oh my god! It's Mr Tape! Is he any relation to Miss Tape? A brother? Maybe they're like, going steady but never had any more contact than a kiss on the cheek while having both feet on the floor! Oh, these 2 totally need to get it together if they haven't already. Get em both laid so they'll shut the fuck up and leave everyone else alone already!!!

But seriously. I can't believe this terrible metaphor has been used more than once. A tape that loses it's sticky? Don't get me wrong, pretty much all metaphors for sex used by just about everyone are pretty bad, but at least flowers are pretty and cars are cool, but sticky tape!!! Oh if you have sex you're like a sticky tape that's lost it's sticky, but if you stay off fucking then you're a piece of sticky tape that's still sticky. Oh that's much better. Bunch of fucking losers.

also here and here

It's just too much..

You're all quite lucky out there, that due to my recent laziness in regard to blogging you've been spared all the griping I've had about the weather. Nothing but rain! Ever since it's been officially summer I don't think there was a single day it wasn't overcast with at least some rain.

Until this past weekend. I woke up one morning and I saw the sun shining, so I ran outside, without stopping to get dressed.. singing. Ok I didn't, but it was sunny. I was quite happy, thinking it would be finally a nice pleasant day to go walking, taking photographs, and I could wear my summery clothes.

So I went outside, happy until I realised it had gone straight from gloomy and overcast to too fucking hot, without a pause in between! I mean baking hot, swelteringly hot.. and a stale, unpleasant heat that you get when you're in a central European city, nowhere near the sea. It drained me.. made me feel like I was going to collapse. It was unfeasable to stay outside at all.

And so you get to hear me complain about how hot it is instead of the rain. Lucky that! For though I'm still as lazy as I ever was, and perhaps more so.. I have got nothing at all else to say.

Well I turned out all right..

One of my first photos
Originally uploaded by Ms Kat, cuddly mascot of the Wachoo Wachoo tribe..

Prudence is one of those people who gives Advice on manners and morals. You know, people write in with their problems.. like this one. I'm rather inclined to think it's a joke, but you never know with some of the freaks out there.

Dear Prudie,
My daughter is 5 years old and has, like most girls her age, a hamper's worth of stuffed animals. While she has her favorites, she constantly wants more and usually connives to get someone (read: her grandparents) into procuring a new one every couple of weeks. The new one immediately becomes her favorite and she must sleep with it every night and haul it around half the day. My question is: Does this behavior indicate she'll be overly promiscuous as an adult, or at least unable to commit to a single partner?

—Perhaps Overly Worried Father

Well, all I have to say is that I had lots of toys when I was little and I used to play with all of them at the same time. Make of that what you will, but those of you who know me, know that I'm quite a lady and don't get up to those sorts of shenanigans at all!

Her reply was.

Dear Perhaps,
Of course that's what it indicates. You'd better start thinking now about what you're going to do when she's a young woman and throws over that big, chubby guy with the annoying laugh, Barney, for the sexually ambiguous Tinky-Winky, whom she then dumps for that moron, Elmo, who every time they come over asks you to get down on the floor and tickle him.

—Prudie

Fitting.

Found via Feministe.

Send me a lightbulb, please!

It's here again. Class tonight in just over 2 hours and I need an activity! I go through this pretty much every Monday and Wednesday, and either come up with something acceptable at the last minute, something crappy at the last minute. Or nothing at all. So far I have nothing.

I'm still not very good at coming up with these though I've had some that weren't too bad. The last one I did was making a message in a bottle, requesting a meeting with a fancied man and it went pretty well, before that I was sewing up a rip in my jeans before my boyfriend came home, which didn't go so well. I've also done making animals out of plastic bottles, picking up coins with chopsticks for a bet, and measuring myself, which were the better ones, others were sorting out receipts, writing a text message, making carrot flowers and painting my nails, the crappy ones. Now I've used up my backlog of ideas to be used in case of emergency and I have none left. Actually I have one left, but I don't want to use it, because it sucks.

Of course, I did an activity last time so I might be called upon to do a door, where I must come for something. I don't have one of them either. Well, I have 2 ideas but they both suck. My doors have all been quite ordinary. Last time I came for a monitor, which was bad, before that I came for a whip to do a self portrait, which I came up with on the way there, and actually think is my best one. Before that I came for tripod, before that a gold chain.. I've also come for a phone charger, money, and I've forgotten all the others. They were all bad.

So I need to think of something pretty soon. Pray for me.

I need a good slapping..

And not just because I haven't written anything in so long..

My it's been a long time since I've posted anything! And even longer since I've posted anything of substance. How dreadful!

I can't say conclusively why I haven't been writing, I've just fallen out of the habit. I don't get the desire to jot down events of my life, or write 3000 words about nothing, I don't see articles on the internet that I want to make fun of, and I haven't been lying awake at night writing a whole post in my head full of brilliant witticisms ready to be recorded the next day*.

Life has been going on as usual. I'm still doing the acting class, sometimes it's terrible, sometimes it's wonderful, sometimes the people in the class piss me off. The other night wasn't so good. I had an unsatisfying class after which I had a displeasing discussion on the metro with a co student. And after that I went to the bar downstairs from here (there's a new bar opened downstairs from here by the way) got drunk, and then came up and hung out with the inhabitant** and some friends of his, drinking vodka and listening to loud music until I dropped the bottle and cut my foot on the glass, and tracked blood all through the flat.

The cut isn't so bad, it's pretty much healed by now, so don't fret my dears.

On Wednesday I had an ok class, and a fun ride home on the metro with some class members. I was on my way home when the inhabitant called and said he'd forgotten his keys earlier so I went to the same bar downstairs to meet him. As I was there I had a drink. And another, some other people joined us and I stayed until I was drunk.

Yesterday I was felt crappy all day, and missed a rehearsal I was supposed to have with a class member. Rehearsal being what we call practice, which we're supposed to do at least twice a week and which I haven't done for about 3 weeks. And I missed it because I was hungover, because for a second time this week I had to stay out all night and get drunk. This is what I'm referring to when I say I need to be slapped.

Apart from that not much has been happening.

*Until last night, when I composed this very post in my head.
**My business partner and friend, who lives in this place, the office and home of my beloved computer.

Good Heavens...

It seems to have completely slipped my mind that I keep a blog! How silly of me.

Warning: Contains adult humour.

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following
words: fucking (4x) shit (3x) suck (2x) piss (1x)

He he.

And the broken record turns..

Yes, I'm aware that I haven't been writing about anything other than the trials of an anguished thespian for a long time now, but I'm afraid my acting class and everything connected with it is the only thing in my life right now. Seriously.

I'm off again in a couple of hours and am currently tearing my hair out trying to come up with another activity. The other night I rushed out of the house with a few bits of paper with stuff written on it with a vague idea in my head about adding up the numbers and figuring out how much money I had, for reasons yet unmade up. I didn't really come up with anything but I came up with a door that I quite liked, and fortunately that's what I did. The exercise sucked, but it gave me a cool idea for a self portrait that I intend to do one day.

So today I'll probably be called on to do an activity, and I have an idea to make something out of plastic bottles, and I don't have a reason yet. That's as far as I've come in the last few hours of scouring the internet for ideas. I've still got about an hour.

The sun is shining.. the birds are singing..

It was very pleasant on the weekend, when it wasn't raining or windy.. which was actually a lot.. but mostly it was quite hot outside. Believe me I know, I was there. In fact I spent so much time outside and away from my computer that I got sunburnt!

I spent the last weekend on an actor's retreat. This is where our class goes to visit the house of some of the students, trash the place, have orgies and take lots of drugs. Ok that wasn't the point. It was to spend time doing acting related things, Meisner classes, improvisations and filming some stuff, and generally getting to know each other better.

And we actually did that. The acting related stuff I mean, not the orgies. We did our usual classes, some more advanced stuff than what we usually do, and we filmed some short not-really-stories we came up with. And then made ourselves watch the films. That bit I didn't like so much.

But overall it was fun. I was very tired most of the time so I'm not sure if I got anything worthwhile out of it, but it was something a bit different, and the first time I've been even a little bit out of Prague for a long time. And coming back to the computer is all the more special after having been away for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!! At least that's something.

Another one under my belt..

I made a movie yesterday. It's number 2 for the group, which I made a film with late last year.

This one is a bit weird. Well they're all a bit weird but this one is weird in a weirder way than the others are weird. I play 1/3 of a woman. Or 1/4.. not sure. I'm confused.

Anyway it's sort of surreal. I'm part of a woman who is battling with a decision on whether to get married to the man who is the father of her baby. That's all I'm gonna say.

We met in the early evening, at the station and went off to a nearby park to film the scene. It was a hot, bright day so of course after getting there and setting up (which consists of sticking the camera on tripod and putting it on the ground, but nevertheless), and deciding on a position to film, which was 3 of us sticking our heads through tree branches, rain drops started falling.

So we went back to the director's flat and filmed our bit there, sort of learning our lines as we went. The rain stopped and we went outside to film the proposal scene, and came across a charming bit of forest by his place so we scrambled into there and filmed it. Back to the flat to film some more surreal bits and about 10pm we finished. Then we had to watch all the footage we'd filmed. I would be lying if I said it was very good. Fortunately, being a surreal story he's going to edit it with a lot of effects which will hopefully obscure how bad the film really is. I shouldn't say that. It is true though.

I can't keep doing this..

I have another class tonight in the Meisner Technique. I still need to think of an activity. So far I haven't got a single idea. Well I have a single idea but I don't want to use it for several reasons including it not being any good.

I'll probably think of something by this evening which will be really lame and it won't go well at all. The teacher will drill me afterwards and tell me everything that was wrong with it.. which I can handle except that it's all shit that I know, I know I know!!! I know that it's not specific enough. I know that it's not important enough I know my time limit wasn't believable I know that I didn't answer all the questions on what would happen if I didn't do it, and I know I didn't fucking believe it because it's fucking made up alright!!!

I mean, fuck! There simply isn't anything that I have the materials for that is difficult for me personally, which I can plausibly convince myself that it has to be done within a certain time limit in order to obtain some desirable outcome, without which I would suffer great consequences.

I just doesn't fucking exist! It doesn't matter how much I try to come up with something, how much I stretch possibilities, outright make shit up about my life my activities are always going to suck.

And that's not even getting into the fact that I never believe it. It's always just me, sitting in class waiting for someone to knock on the door, knowing that there isn't anyone coming over to get the rent in 20 minutes, or anyone who needs to be emailed immediately, or my mother showing up any minute.. it's all fucking made up!

I don't know why I bother.

It's such a lovely day...

That I think I might go frolic in the park. A guy from my class and maybe some more people are joining me. He he.. actually it's what we call "rehearsal" but we only say that because we like to make it look like we do something resembling work sometimes...

It's Friday. I think I'm gonna get drunk tonight.

I name this land Yurp!

Bush is visiting Europe and this time he's decided to visit my fair city. It's about the American plans to deploy a missile defence system in the Czech Republic, which most of the country is against, or at least slightly over half according to polls. I was planning on doing my bit for the free world and going to visit the Castle where he's speaking to show my displeasure at him being in any position of importance.. let alone the one he's in.. but I'm lazy. And I had to deal with a drunken person with an infection from a bad filling going to the dentist. I did get to watch him blather on about the Cold War being over on telly a while ago though..

And she did it again..

Or should one say.. one did it again.

Another playreading. This time the Mutant Cat read the part of Yesica, a little girl. Actually a little brat, well worse than a brat really, an evil little imp is more like it. The play is in the style of a fairy tale, but a modern one, for grownups and it's on the sick side.

The play is set in a forest and centers around 2 girls/young women who go looking for their dog in the forest and come across a young, studly forrester/hunter.. something like that. They both seduce him and have sex with him.. not at the same time and screw with his head, and argue and are generally mean and nasty with each other. The little girls are supposed to be them as children and they treat their father in a similar nasty way.

If it doesn't make so much sense it didn't when I was reading it either. It was fun playing a brat, and the whole thing is a bit over the top so I overdid it, piping up petulantly being mean to my sister and father. It would actually be a fun one to put on for real, with all the actions and sets and stuff. It's quite a violent play.

Multitasking before breakfast.

Oh my the life of a working thespian is tough. I had to get up at 8:00 this morning, to do a lunchtime playreading for the Prague Fringe Festival. And I have another one tomorrow. I didn't even breakfast, except for one coffee between the rehearsal and the actual reading.

I read A Short Play About Globilization. That's the title, and naturally, it's a short play about human trafficking. I had what you would call a supporting role (or roles) and was working with some real life professional actors, which was a bit daunting, I was afraid I would suck and the woman who organizes the thing would regret ever offering me the role. I read the stage directions, a woman's voice and another small role. It was a wee bit confusing, to me if not to the audience. I wasn't originally supposed to do the stage directions but the person who was going to didn't show, as happens here in Prague so I had the work of juggling different roles, and the parts I read were in the sections that were heavy on stage directions so I had to use my skills to switch sharply from one part to another.

I'm doing another tomorrow, which is a kind of fairy tale in which I play a child. It should be challenging. Or it might just be a laugh.

Getting the whip out..

I don't usually approve of corporal punishment, but some people just go to far and deserve a good whipping. I speak of course of people who can't spell. There are certain words I keep coming across that are just wrong! One of them being "rediculous". This pisses me off, what is it about that word that so many people get it wrong? And more importantly, why haven't all those people been round up and shot? There are others. I'll probably think of some later.

I'm also just a tad bothered by bad punctuation and English in general. I won't go on about the various ways of writing the words which sound like there, your and too because it's been written about a lot already, except to say that anyone who uses "ur" for "your" needs to stop it. It's not a frickin text message! You're not writing on a frickin phone! You have a whole frickin keyboard at your convenience! Write the whole word for fucks sake! If you can't frickin type you need to get off my internet and leave it it the big people!

I realize abbreviations are really popular these days. They used to really piss me off because I didn't know what they meant. As time went on I learnt what some mean, and now when I see "lol" I just think my that's silly. I've also learnt the meaning of rotfl, imo, imho and others. There are still some I don't know. Like fwiw. It pisses me off when I see it because people just write this shit like you're supposed to know what it means and you can't just interrupt a discussion to ask what it's about and you'll look like a dickhead anyway, so if anyone knows what that or any other of these things mean please let me know. When I know them all my internet browsing will be much less frustrating. I'll still think that anyone who uses them are bad people though.

Working for the weekend..

Life is hard when you're a dedicated thespian. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday this past weekend. I'm worn out.

Saturday I had a rehearsal for the upcoming film I'm starring in. I played one woman's rational part. I am supposed to be all logic all the time, because two other women play the other aspects of her, the emotion and the morality. It's kind of a make it up as you go along deal, the director has the basic plot of the movie, about a couple where the woman is played by the different part of her, and we improvised the rest. We were supposed to rehearse this past Saturday and film next Saturday, but we only managed to finish one scene so far. By finish I mean come up with what's in the scene, not necessarily be ready to film it.

Of course now I'm (partially) trained in the Meisner Technique I had to argue with the director and the other actors about how we should all be playing our characters. I felt it was my duty to my art.

Yesterday I went to a meeting about the upcoming playreading I'm doing. I'm exaggerating a bit calling it work, I know. It was brief, the woman running it gave us a rundown of what's happening and gave us our scripts. I will be doing two, one on Thursday and one on Friday. I read the scripts last night and I'm not sure what to think. I'm a bit confused as to who I'm playing in the first one, there are so many characters who come and go, and only 2 described, I'm supposed to be playing "video woman" and there are characters called "woman" and "woman's voice" in parts who I think might be my role, but I'm not certain. I'm sure I'll find out. My character in the second play appears to be a child, not sure what age but it's a bit of a stretch all the same. Most of the people in the playreadings appear to be professional actors here for the Fringe Festival. The roles I have are minor ones, so I'm not terribly worried about it, though I may be later in the week.

Window kitty

Mutant Cat's wacky adventures..

Oh shit I've built it up too much. It's not that interesting really.

I was just on my way to "rehearsal", which is really practise in this Meisner thingy I'm doing. We are supposed to have these rehearsals regularly to prove that we're all dedicated and stuff, so I went to meet this guy at the park in Karlovo Namesti at 4:30. I hopped on a tram at about 4:22, easily enough time to get there, as it isn't far. Usually.

For some reason today the tram just wouldn't move. Well it did, but then it stopped. For a long time. When it got to Namesti Miru, the stop just down the road about 5 minutes later a lot of people got off. I thought, I ain't getting off this thing, I've already committed myself to going on the tram and I'm gonna get there on the tram dammit!

I changed my mind as soon as the doors closed and decided then that I wanted to get off and walk, but being a tram in motion, at least officially if not in the traditional sense of the word, that being "moving", the doors were closed. So I had to wait until we got to I.P.Pavlova, the next station which is a couple of metres from the Namesti Miru. During that time I got a message from the guy I was meeting, telling me exactly where in the park he was, so I wrote back saying that I was stuck on a slow tram, and would be there soon. He wrote back saying he was going to go ahead and start his activity. Brilliant.

It took about 10 minutes to move between those two stations. As soon as it stopped and opened the doors I ran out, and had to wait to cross the road as the light just went green for the cars as I got there. I waited, and crossed the road, then I ran until the next crossroad where naturally, the cars started moving just when I got there.

I took off my shoes, my little heeled sandals which are no good for walking in, let alone running in, and took off the overshirt I was wearing, oh and did I mention it was hot? It was hot. I ran, barefoot carrying my shoes, my shirt and my bag on the dirty hot street.

I got there pretty quickly, feeling hot and flushed with a red face and no shoes, and dived straight into what was supposed to be my door but was really just me coming straight from running barefoot in the heat. We rehearsed and went home. The end.

I told you it wasn't that interesting.

Overheard in Prague..

Last night.

You're like a wee puppet on a string without a master to pull the
strings.

I didn't exactly overhear it. This was in last night's class. The funny thing about it is that we're not supposed to have conversations while we're doing these exercises. The Meisner Technique is all about stripping away all the faking it and using language to cover up what we're really feeling, which is why the total of our communication is (or should be if we're doing it properly) calling out our partner's behaviour, as in "you're distressed" and they repeat it back to you and show how they're feeling by the way they say it, like a question if they don't agree, or angrily if they feel offended etc. Either that or they mention something about you like "you're concerned", and it goes on.

What you're not supposed to do it explain yourself, try to be witty or make strange poetic statements with quaint Irish colloquialisms. Which is what this guy did. It was entertaining though. Last night most of us were kind of spaced out and the class was kind of slow going which we blame the heat for, but it was nice to finish up with something that made us all laugh.

And though studying the Meisner Technique might be great for refining one's craft, it's not that often that you get memorable quotes out it.

Just stopping by...

My goodness, I've been so busy lately! Well for me anyway. I'm still going to my classes, and getting to know the mob there better. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it's terrible but mostly it's ok and I think I'm learning something.

There's a festival coming up which includes a series of playreadings, and I'm going to be doing one, possibly 2 of them. People will actually be coming to watch that, so I'm getting out there. It's not a full on well rehearsed play exactly but I'm hoping some of that will come in the future. I actually went to a playreading the other night which some of my classmates were in, as well as some other people I've met through student films and such over the past few years which I couldn't talk to because I had to leave early!!! I had a meeting to go to, which I was actually late for. See, I told you I was busy!

The meeting was with the same film group I worked with last year, and we are making another film. It's about a couple who are going through problems and the woman is played by 3 women who are different parts of her personality, not sure what I'll be or how it's going to be filmed but it sounds interesting.

Well, it doesn't sound as bad as some of those student films I've been in, which isn't saying a whole lot really.

Well you're dead now, so shut up!

The man who said this,

I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists,
and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an
alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who
have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say
"you helped this happen."

Is dead.

Fucking asshole! Too bad there isn't a hell.

Who needs God when you've got these?

Looks like I'm not the only one out there who likes to translate the Holy Word for the laypeople out there. This is something that's been seen on a t-shirt in American schools recently.

God loves you a whole lot John 3:16

In case you're wondering what the original(KJV) text is..

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that
whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

True, one way of interpreting that is that God kinda likes you, in letting you live forever and all, but there are a few important points to consider.

First we need to remember that god created the universe and everything in it.

Second. It's not just that you get to live forever if you believe, it's that you get to go to heaven. And if you don't go to heaven you automatically go to Hell, which is everlasting torture.

So, with those two things in mind, we've got this God that made everything, including people. We didn't ask to be created, we just were. He makes us the way we are, puts us where he puts us so we only have so much choice in what we do with our lives, and certainly what we believe. He made a place called Hell for some unexplained reason, where each and every one of us is destined, also for some unexplained reason, due to the fuckups of the first two people he conjured.

One day after thousands of years he felt kinda bad that everyone had to suffer forever and he sent himself to earth as his own son, and for some unexplained reason had to suffer and die in the place of humanity, to let them into heaven (avoid hell). And then he came back to life again.

And now, we're allowed to avoid our destiny of eternal torture (which we deserve, according to god, who made us) if we accept this wonderful gift. If we don't we go to hell, but that's our own fault, considering the great lengths god went to let us avoid going there.

What a great guy!

Monkeys are cute...

It's been a while since anything interesting happened in my life, but there was a period there that was pretty wild. Lots of crazy things happened to me. One was the time I went to the Monkey Sanctuary in Cornwall. That in itself wasn't so weird, although it was interesting, and the monkeys are very cute. What was strange about it is that I actually got kidnapped and taken there.

Oh they took me home afterwards. In between some other crazy stuff happened. Anyway, I'm too lazy to write it out again, you can read about it here.

I was going to write something today...

And then I thought I can't be bothered. It's a combination of lethargy, anxiety and lack of inspiration.. or maybe more like having things in my head that are so important while being so pointless at the same time that I can't bring myself to share it with the world, or even to go so far as to type the words into the browser. I just can't do it. So I'm not going to.

Or did I just do it?

And the answer is...

Boobs.

I refer to the competition I ran on Friday, in which I asked you to guess what the ad with the woman on the bike was for.

I'm not joking. The answer is really boobs, or rather breast implants.

Nobody guessed it, but I'm not terribly surprised that an ad with a photo of a woman with small-ish breasts which are not very visible under a hooded sweater, riding a bike and smiling with the words "you've never looked smarter" under it did not immediately make people think "boobs!"

Though I can see how such an ad would convince a woman dissatisfied with the size of her breasts to go through with the operation.. "oh, they'll make me look smarter? Just like the woman in the ad grinning like an idiot who's boobs you can't even see? Ok.. I'll get them, here's the money!" I'd just don a pair of glasses myself, but I've proven more than once that I'm hopelessly out of touch, so don't listen to me.

You're still all welcome to drink with me in Prague by the way. I won't even make you pay for me, I'm that nice.