I want a hat.

A real nice one. A Fedora, whatever that actually is, or a Trilby, I like the sound of that. Maybe one of those lady hats that ladies wore back when ladies wore hats. No reason, just like hats. Oh and reasons, metaphorical ones.

I'm in a rut. Surprise surprise, I know, nothing to write home or indeed on a blog about but nevertheless, here I write. You may notice there has been little writing of late, this among other reasons, may be the reason. Maybe not.

It stopped raining. Not forever, and it actually rained this morning but it stopped raining endlessly, and there was a bit of sunshine. I probably shouldn't have written this, because you know, law of stuff.

That's all.

It just keeps on raining..

And it rains and it rains and it rains. It's been only 3 or 4 days now, of continuous rain that is, there's been rain on and off for, well since it stopped being freezing cold some time in March or April, not sure exactly when that long winter ended, we've got new things to whine about now.

It just rains and it rains and it rains. At first it's like, it's raining, we expect it to rain sometimes. It rains on a Saturday, again, and we get pissed off that it falls on the weekend. Then it rains a couple of days and you whine about it, but that's what it always does, it rains, it just does. Then it rains more and you start thinking, this is going on a bit long.. and it just keeps raining. You start worrying that it might cause more problems than you not being able to enjoy that barbecue or having generally unpleasant weather that puts you in a bad mood.. but.. they haven't said anything yet, about the f word, and really.. you think this every year there's a bit of a prolonged period of rain.. you're paranoid because you were here in 2002.. and then you say.. well that was like, a once in a 100 years thing, so, we're not due for that yet.. give it 89 years..

but, then you read about warnings, see articles about the floods and the final nail in the water coffin.. international articles where our humble little city is actually mentioned, because of flooding. It's official.

Hey.. another month!

It's June now. Still not working, still not ready to start for one reason or another, it's raining, still not doing any theatre and still haven't finished editing the one small very modest video we shot a few months ago and haven't gotten a chance to do the other shoot that's been on the agenda for months because it keeps raining on the weekend. I have some new videos, well one.. it's nothing, I just made it so I'd have at least one single upload for the month, and didn't manage to edit the other one yet (see above) because of an inability to use audio editing software, partly anyway.. and of course I didn't make, edit or do any all month otherwise... and I have another that's not really new, actually it's about a month old, the one I uploaded at the end of last month so I'd have something... but no one's looked at it yet so it's kinda new.

I mean, the whole point of setting myself the modest goal of uploading one fucking thing at least a month was to motivate me to make these videos, edit, upload and have a whole lot of material, get better and better at doing this stuff.. but, every month I manage to scrape through, quickly editing something or shooting something pointless just so I have one.. I'm going to have to set myself more difficult or specific goals, I think.. something I can easily fail at.. maybe I'd do better :). I don't know.. maybe I should stop worrying about any of this and just, get a job already.

I wish it would stop raining.

It just drags on..

still studying, still writing, still editing, sorta practicing.

I've been doing this on and off for over a year now.. ok so most of that time has been during "off" mode but still..

waiting for something, something I need to do this.. at least to finish..

I'll get there. I'll let you know when.

Things Actually Happen.

So.. I've been a bit quiet around here of late.. just got out of the habit of posting.. and what a week! There are at least like.. 3 things worth mentioning.. at least, 3 things that I feel worth mentioning. Well.. last post was a photo from a trip to Krakow, that was fun.. journey there and back, I shan't be doing again, the train, 8 hours, overnight.. in a regular seat. For small parts we got a whole side to ourselves each but.. didn't last long as people kept getting in, and out, and the train stopped at a certain shitty station in the middle of skuzzy Nowhereville Czech republic and actually turned around and went back twice.. both ways, and for ages.. will hold a grudge about that pointless shitty down forever Bohumin.. I mean.. who the fuck even knows where that is? So.. the being in Krakow was awesome.. apart from a bit of tiredness.. the weather was lovely, we stayed in a nice flat in an awesome area, saw stuff.. and found a lovely restaurant which we'll go back to when we go back to Krakow which we will but just not on the train or at least not on regular seats. Oh and beer.. we had beer. Had a couple of tests for my tour that I'm supposed to be doing but am not yet.. and a lot of studying.. in essence I failed both, but, it's more of a training process and I'm getting there but I was hoping to be working much earlier so, mildly vexing but overall ok. Most important thing is, they fucked Flickr! They made it all new and exciting and vibrant.. which obviously sucks, because it used to be calm and boring and fast loading and you could see the pictures and how many comments and views there were and you could arrange your photostream in 2 columns with the sets down the side so when you uploaded 2 shots or an even number of shot sa day you could make sure your sp from the 365 project was in the left column and.. well.. I'm old and cranky and don't like it.. damn those kids with their ipods and tablets and general modern stuff! I've been fuming about it.. well a bit, for the last 3 days and at some point I'll get used to it and either start using it less.. just forget it ever bothered me or eventually leave it all for Ipernity which is just like Flickr except it doesn't have massive big "thumbnails" taking up your screen and you can see the text and stuff.. ie, like it used to be.

Oh and our water was gone. All morning, had to go out all stinky cos not only couldn't I shower, I couldn't even have a proper "whore's bath" as it's known as colloquially.. cos.. no water obvs. It seems the goobers that have been working on our road for the past month knocked something.. it seems to be back now, though trickling down very thinly. It's always something it seems.

Where I was.

Krakow, Poland.

And we're off..

Going on another adventure. Off to Krakow for the weekend. Just a short trip, for a short time but, it's something fun, something different. I've been there before but.. I don't remember seeing much somehow.. or rather I got hardly any photos of anything, you know like.. the town, buildings, people. I shall do that this time, as anyone who knows anything at all about me knows. Also my first time staying with someone neither I nor my fellow traveler have met before, it's my first "surfing" experience, so to speak. Should be fun, quite interesting.. had so many people here by now that it will be strange to be on the other side o the.. um, couch. Everything else for now.. my worries, the stuff I need to learn and know by Tuesday.. oh yeah, got a test on Tuesday, for something I like.. really need to do.. well all of that for now is, just that. It's Friday, I'm outta here and.. that's it really. Til Monday. At least.

Keeping Strong.

It's what I do. In the face of crisis, bleakness and looming er.. storms, it's how I deal. Yeah I wouldn't believe it either. When I'm faced with.. well, crap I tend to deal by wallowing in my misery and becoming incapable of doing much. I'm even less likely to get done that which I'm pretty useless at in general at a time that I need more than ever to do stuff, if you know what I mean. I get tired of being me sometimes. I'd do something about it, but.. I dunno.. *grumbles incoherently*