I am not here. This blog has been removed.

I'm not here, because the blog has been removed. Yes, you heard right. Well you didn't because this isn't here as it's been removed, and you wouldn't have heard it anyway, you would have read it, if you could see it, which you can't because, as I said, the blog has been removed. Not sure how long it will take to get back, or to be seen, if in fact it's back already in which case, hi. I don't know what it was that caused the blog to be removed and for gmail to ask me to sign in and then say there was a problem and sign in again and then let me sign in to see the notifications from 3 different people that they received weird messages from my email and my blog has been removed. Well 2 people, and only one mentioned the blog, and then when I emailed another they said yeah there was something weird and the blog has been removed. Don't know what caused that, a hacker, I guess, or maybe some glitch from the powers that be. Would be nice for them to give me more deets, and to say yeah ok the problem is solved no worries anymore and btw your blog is back but no, nothing like that. Oh well, here I am, writing away on this nonexistent part of webspace, talking to no one. I'm done now, Bye.

Ok Google.. what all this about?

I don't know if it's just me, but my google search pages have recently been coming up all.. messy. The first couple, indeed the ones that you usually notice most, the equivalent of eye height in the supermarket, the entries that you see.. in short, are all some kind of sponsored links, based on my area..

I don't like it. It looks messy and well.. I'd like THE MOST RELEVANT AND USEFUL LINKS TO BE THE ONES THAT COME UP FIRST THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I mean, yeah, it's a free service and they gotta make money but.. this sucks. I do not approve and would like for this travesty to be rectified asap, imho.

Get on it Google!

Hmmm, that's odd.

The internet is behaving very oddly, very oddly indeed. For about the last hour now I haven't been able to get into anything.. anything I tell you!

Anything that is, except for this site, any google sites actually, and a few random others. The others however, (the others being not google or the others I managed to get through to) I simply cannot access. It includes Flickr and *mumbles a bit* Facebook and a few random others, and it's extremely odd. At first I thought it was Yahoo, as that site itself was inaccessible as well as Flickr which is a subsidiary (if that's the correct term) but... the random others aren't, I don't think.

It's very odd.

Well fuck.. wasn't that fuckload of fun..

Fuck!

Will it never end. No sooner do I get finished fucking carrying all my shit, heavy as fuck, up and down stairs, or in fact before I even finish fucking doing it, because, yet again I had to go an extra trip with heavier than expected shit.. I try to login to my email and I fucking can't.

I try and try again to no avail. I know I didn't forget my fucking password because my browser automatically puts it in, and it's right every other fucking time, but I click the "forgot password" and go through a bunch of links that are exactly no help to me. I try to get it sent to my alternate email, but it isn't in the inbox of the email I thought it was most likely to be and it's not there. I try a bunch of other emails, all the ones I can remember and it isn't in any of them. I go back to google help and they have links to click on that give you a one sentence answer to your potential problem which was exactly useless, then they have the nerve to have a survey question saying "was this answer useful to you?", unfortunately they only have "yes" or "no" as answers and no FUCK NO which is what I needed.

They tell me I can't try to answer my security question for 5 days, which seems a bit FUCKING POINTLESS, I mean if someone hacks into your account it's really very useful to give them 5 FUCKING DAYS to change your security question.. not to mention why they expect you to wait so long to get into your bloody email..

So I browsed through the help section more, hoping to find something useful.. I filled out one form for "my account as been compromised" which asked me a bunch of questions I didn't know, and sent it off and received no reply. I tried to find a direct email address for help and there was none, the only thing there was was a google help group.. so I joined that and asked my question.

All day I waited, for an email or an answer to my question in the group. During the course of the day I realized that some fuckrag, some festering butt boil, yes you you fuck.. you know who I'm talking about.. was using my email and replying to people.. at least one person. This rather pissed me off.

Nothing all day.. bugger all.

The next day I started getting some answers in the group, some useful, most not and all taking very long. I was getting paranoid that this fuckbrain would send out weird emails to my contacts and other stuff.. so I wanted them out of there fast.

My blogger id is connected to the same email, so I couldn't get in, and then I saw that fuckstain had added some stupid shit on top of the blog.. well, at least that gave me a chance to look at my site meter to see if I could get an idea of who this monumental fuckwad was.. sure enough he made it easy as shit to see where he was from and the ip address and exactly when he'd fiddled around with my blogs.. not that it helped me much at the time(or at all), but it was somewhat satisfying..

well anyway.. I filled out more forms, waited, waited and waited.. checked other emails and whatnot to check if they'd done anything diabolical, and went to bed.

Today I woke up and no change, but after an hour or so I got an email giving me the link to go into and get back into my mail. It all seemed to be there, and nothing too dreadful seems to have occurred so in a weird twisted fucking shit that sucks keeps happening to me sort of way I guess I'm lucky, especially for this shitty month which unfortunately isn't the fuck over yet.

So there you go.

My, I'm so honoured...

I just found out that this blog is the number one google search for how to fit bigger things in your arse. Strangely enough it's linked to a post that has little to do with the subject. And it's some Australian that looked it up too. What does it all mean? Do I want to know?

Of course now that I've posted about it I'll get a deluge of people looking for new sick stuff. I just can't seem to shake the perverts, no matter what I do..

Quit asking me already!

Those of you out there who use Blogger, probably know that they recently merged with Google. Some of you are probably already using the fabulous new version with all the new features with your combined Blogger/Google accounts. Call it Bloogle. Or Gogger, whichever you prefer.

I'm afraid I'm missing out on all the wonderful new features, in fact, I don't even know what it's all about. I have declined to update to the new system, each and every time I've been asked, which is each and every time I log into Blogger.

Now, I'm sure it's wonderful, but at this moment it just doesn't suit me. You see, I don't have my own computer! I may have mentioned this before, but I share this computer. The other person who uses this computer has a gmail account, which is also our business email, which is used a lot, so we keep it signed in the computer all the time, making his google account the default one on this computer.

I like to keep signed in to Blogger, as I use it a lot, for posting as well as commenting, and I like to be able to edit at a moment's notice if I see anything amiss. If I were to update, then I would have to sign into my account with Blogger every time I want to use it. Then I would have to sign into the previously mentioned gmail account every time I, or the other person who uses the computer uses it. Then I would have to sign out of that, and sign into Blogger again when I want to use it. Then I would have to sign out of Blogger, and sign into gmail again, when I want to use that account.... see, not really much in it for me, is there?

So everytime they ask me if I want to switch versions, I say "no, take me to my dashboard!" Enough already! I'll do it when I'm good and ready, and until that time I want to be left the fuck alone!!!

But that's not all. For some reason when I leave comments on Blogger blogs, even though I stay permanently signed in, sometimes the name which comes up in the comment form is that of the holder of the other gmail account. But of course it's not consistent, no that would make it too simple, sometimes it's my name, and sometimes it's his. The first time this happened I left a comment, and didn't realize until afterwards that it was under his name. Of course the comment I'd left on someone else's blog one minute earlier, without quickly signing in and out of my account and signing into gmail to look at emails and back again, was under my name.

So please Blogger, let us decide for ourselves whether we want to fucking merge or not! Okay?

p.s Does no one but me think it strange that Blogger's spellchecker doesn't recognize the words "blogger" or "blog"?