Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The beast speaks

Seeing as I appear to be writing regularly again, I might bring back one of my old traditions..
the old Wednesday bible interpretation. This is where I pick a random bible verse and give a couple of explanations on what it just might mean. Please keep in mind that the interpretations are extremely liberal. And just in time for Halloween, today's is:

REV 13:11... "And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he
had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon."

a) All of a sudden a strange beast came out of the ground, I was rather rattled because I'd been having a rather pleasant walk, and wasn't expecting it, but anyway, the creature was very strange and looked sort of like a sheep but not really because it had horns, and I've never seen a sheep with horns, and it spoke to me. Something rather awful it said, but I got the basic idea from it that you should be good and nice to people otherwise something terrible will happen and you'll end up having to spend time with these hideous beasts for all eternity.

b) And the BEAST came out of the EARTH and said something garbled through his dragonlike way of speaking, which certainly meant that GAYS and WANTON women and anyone who doesn't agree with everything that GOD says, which just so happens to be everything that I believe and want to believe, will burn in HELL. And have an awful time while there here on earth too.. and just in case I don't , it's ok for me, and in fact it's my DUTY to make sure they have a horrible time while they live.

c) I swear I'm not on drugs dude.. I really saw it!

Heavens.. I am really rusty.


Anonymous said...

As I was on the page commenting on another post I thought I'd make the effort.

Here we not only have sheep [always good for a snigger and an obvious joke] but two HORNS! But I can't can't make a decent smutty joke connecting the two.

I think I'm suffering from performance anxiety.


Michelle said...

Damn... I didn't even think to make any smutty conotations from it.. and it was handed to me on a plate just like that. I must be losing my touch.. or I'm out of practice. Definitely a sign that I need to exercise my pisstaking muscles.

Inmate said...

Pisstaking? Thou?