Oh I wasn't about to become all serious or anything..

or substantial. I wasn't about to start having regular posts about subjects, important stuff, world affairs or anything. nah, did it once, that'll do me for.. a while. It's back to me me me, moaning, and being silly.

 

 and shameless self promotion of my crappy videos.

I'm not being falsely modest here, they are pretty crappy, in fact I think they're getting worse, all of them could have a slightly higher quality if I spent just a little more time with editing and going back and reshooting when something isn't quite right but I just can't be assed. And really, the effort it would take to do that extra, minimal as it may be, wouldn't translate into enough of an overall improvement in the aggregate (again I think I'm using that word, whatever it really means, entirely inaccurately, but I still want to use it) to make it worth it. And no one watches them anyway which is fine really, it would be kind of embarrassing if people did.

So that's one more food group to cut out..

Well.. luckily I don't live in Oklahoma..

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — A Republican state senator from Oklahoma City introduced a bill Tuesday that would ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food, despite conceding that he's unaware of any company using such a practice.

I don't usually comment much, these days on the world out there and it's happenings, mostly because.. well it's not usually trivial and ridiculous enough.. ok, there's plenty that is, but for some reason I thought this little nugget of news was worthy of being shared with (possibly) a few more people.

Now, if the senator gets bored, as I'm going to charitably assume he already is and that's why he came up with this idea, I have a few more suggestions for bills or laws or clams or whatever you call them these days, that he can try to pass:

• Flying your car in a no fly zone.
• Building a structure that is more than 15oom (4921feet) tall
• Bathing in the ocean.
• Banning cats from driving.
• Making hamburgers out of human flesh.
• Banning dogs from congregating in groups of three or more on private property unless they have a permit signed by the mayor.

Oh wait.. the last one is already a law.. gonna have to think of your own senator.

It's planning to get real silly round here very..

soon.

I know. Uncharacteristic of any place I should be, being an eminently sensible person. Whatever eminently means. Not really sure, actually.. I flat out don't know, but it sounds right.

Ok so I'm online, and I just consulted the dictionary.. and the definition (that is for "eminent" is:

1.high in station, rank, or repute; prominent; distinguished: eminent statesmen.
2.conspicuous, signal, or noteworthy: eminent fairness.
3.lofty; high: eminent peaks.
4.prominent; projecting; protruding: an eminent nose.

er.. still not sure.

Whatever. Anyway, like I said it's highly unusual for me, or my environment to be silly.. but, it is the end o the year. You know what's coming.

Yes.. the "holidays" as the kids call them nowadays. It's now the 2nd day of the month of November so I calculate in 3, 2, 1 days...

er.. it probably started about 4 days ago, some time in late October. It's just going to get sillier from here on.

*puts on googly eye glasses*

Something from the weekend..

it's a video of a bunny dancing. Yes, it is. From that thing I did on Saturday.

Sooner or later I'll do something else interesting.. and thus have another subject.

Follow the bunny!

Happy October all... it's been quite a nice start to the month here.. a lovely warm day, almost hot actually, especially for following a conga line down a major city square in the afternoon, though not so bad if you aren't wearing a furry bunny suit, which one person actually was. Oh.. I did that, btw, earlier today, following a bunny. Well it was a guy, in a bunny suit.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing I've been getting up to lately. That and some drinking. Well.. some work as well.. though not as much as the summer months. I can live with that.. drinking and following bunnies staging ridiculous stunts suits me better really. Doesn't pay so well but.. sometimes you have to do stuff for the love of it.

The wonderful world out there..

Ah.. not much to say today.. nothing new, so I'll pass on some unusual and entertaining news from the world of nature..

Drunk Swedish elk found in apple tree near Gothenburg

Apparently this is quite common in Autumn when there are a lot of apples around. Well.. not the tree bit, just drunken elk, wandering about, stumbling into things, falling over and being beligerent, that sort of thing..

the world is funny, sometimes :)

The silliest day on earth..

That was yesterday. For me anyway. It was kind of fucked up.. annoying, in that.. superficial unimportant stuff that bugs you sort of way.. and that is all entirely your own stupid fault for being a stupid person who's stupid and does stupd things sutpidly. That was me. Well that's usually me but yesterday especially.

It all started the other night when I left my phone behind in a bar.. not something entirely stupid because people get drunk in bars and do stuff like that but I was hardly drunk, just stupid. I figured it out halfway home after getting a particularly lucky connection with the trams.. and Erik rang it and someone at the bar answered it and said it would be there for me to pick up.. I was too lazy to go back then so I asked if I could come tomorrow. It was ok.

Tomorrow, which was yesterday, I set out to get my phone. I'd gone along on a party which met at another tram stop so I hadn't actually made my own way there before, and I'd toyed with the idea of looking up exactly where it was before going, but I thought.. nah, I'll remember.

Well I didn't, so I looked everywhere. And I mean literally everywhere. I went down every street of this particularly hilly and pub heavy part of Prague, I went up and down many numerous times. I went as far as I thought I should with a strained look up or down the hill, not wanting to waste an uphill walk too far, just to go back later and continue up or down the hill. I went past the same places again and again, unintentionally.. I went much further than was reasonable more than once.. I looked EVERYWHERE, it could possibly be, but no bar. Well lots of bars but not that one.

My legs were hurting.. and I didn't want to use any more energy than was humanly possible to try to find this thing... but I found myself walking on and on again.. up hills, down hills just to come up again.

I would have earlier called someone to look it up for me but.. my reason for going was to get my phone so obvs I didn't have one.. but I came across some public ones.. put a 5kc coin in.. and it just stuck there. Wouldn't go in and I couldn't get it out.

So I tried an internet cafe.. I'd walked past one before and didn't go in, but I had to walk all the way back.. without really remembering where it was.. but I found it relatively easily.. thank goodness.. went in, luckily it was cheap.. looked it up and lo and behold the place was really close.. and a place THAT I'D ALREADY BEEN!

Found it this time. Got the phone, jumped on the tram home, with barely enough time to go back out again to training where I had to know 3 more stories. .and of course was seriously behind on the last one, due to having less time than I expected to learn it. Damn it.

So I wasted the hour I had fumbling about... meant to go a bit early so I wouldn't be rushed, so I went at the last minute and was rushed. I put on one boot.. then I couldn't find the other. I looked and looked and looked but not boot. Finally I had to change to my sneakers and had to spend precious time lacing the damn things up.

Fortunately, my tram was late or I wouldn't have caught it.. I put in my ticket and sat down. later I realized I'd double checked a ticket. It really didn't matter because I wasn't inspected but it was just a special bit of icing on a day of stupidness for me. I did my stories not half bad, not so good but I didn't fuck up.. and now I'm still learning 3 more for tonight.. and I have to leave in like 15 minutes! It never ends....

*raises glass*

I'm having a real life anniversary today. That is, a celebration of some number of whole years since a particular important incident occurred, as opposed to say.. a 2 week anniversary which is a logical impossibility and does not exist!

Just under 3 years ago exactly was the first time I met with my gentleman friend Erik, for the first time in real life, after knowing each other exclusively online for a while, at the horse statue.

We then wandered on to the inaugural dinner, at U Medvidku, a charming spot which I've been to many a time over the years, but which has since been given a special place in my heart since this aforementioned event.. and subsequently one which we are revisiting this evening. And revisited a year ago.. and the year before that...

and we'll have beer, perhaps some cheese though perhaps not this evening as one half of the partnership has recently become sorta vegan, but that's ok, we'll have beer, and we'll be dorks.. and then we'll have some dinner somewhere else...

I'm not expecting to go on a wild goose chase afterwards.. like the original meeting.. we didn't catch any geese that night, probably because they're don't seem to be too many in Žižkov, where we were, but we didn't find that bar either.. we did find another one though.. I mean, there's always some bar.. who knows. Maybe we'll chase some nonexistent geese, or maybe not, but I wouldn't be adverse to some kind of shenanigans occuring, it seems like the night for it.

Except for the fact that the water heater dude is coming early tomorrow to finally replace our old and barely functioning one after a few aborted attempts.. but that's relatively unimportant.

Welcome all...

Say whatever you want...

Another post! Oh my...

I've been persuaded to post again today by a reader.. rather by the very fact that someone is actually reading and commenting.. so here I am.

So Erik left this morning. It was a relatively tearless parting, I'm quite stoic and able to amuse myself for 2 weeks (that's if I have my stuff, you know.. like computer.. internet.. but none of that now) and Cooley appeared to be blissfully unaware of just what was going on.

So how have I been spending this Easter Sunday on my own? Well, for the first half of the day mostly pissing about on the internet, having fun tracking the flight and my usual stuff. After about 6 or something the computer shut down (as it has been wont to do occasionally since time of purchasing but usually hasn't caused too much drama) and it didn't restart itself as it does when it usually shuts down (see previous brackets). It sorta did this the other night too but it came back and started working normally again (occasionally restarting itself for no reason or alternatively giving me the blue screen of death for no reason).

So anyway, it just did that no signal thing and the screen went black. So I had to shut the comp down with the button. I tried to turn it back on and it gave the black screen. So I waited. After waiting it still did the black screen. Oh shit am I going to go through all this again.. well I did that again a couple of times. I took the side of the comp and fiddled around in there and cleaned the fan, then I turned it on and heard the beep so I thought cool it's working but it got stuck on some screen and that was it. For a few hours I alternated between waiting, fiddling around inside the comp, turning it on and getting the black screen, or turning it on and getting it starting up and getting stuck on a different screen every time.

Then I started it and it worked normally but turned itself off after about 4 minutes. Fortunately it came back on normally and that's what I'm working on now but who knows how long it will last.

So anyway that's what I've been doing with myself all day. Well.. and this..

The Silliness is On!

I now pronounce it officially Silly Season! Circumstances have made it impossible for me to pretend it's still regular season. It's ok to go be silly now.

Yesterday was Mikuláš, a xmassy predecessor to xmas which is celebrated here in the Czech Republic. We started the day regularly enough, going to visit the kitties, fed them food Cooley refuses to eat, saw old friends, and some new kitties and the official cat lady, who in broken English told them all their names (not the real names, the names other people all them) and a bit of history.

It got dark, and colder so we popped into a cafe we occasionally visit. Had relaxing liqueur coffees with light ambient jazz playing in the background. There was a slight disruption to this peace as a couple with a huge pram (with child inside) squeezed past me, forcing me to move my chair.. I know, the nerve.. but I got over it.

A little later a sooty devil came in, followed by two angels and St. Nicholas himself, took a table and sat down. We were completely unfazed by this, as it's exactly the day of the year one expects to see these characters. They were joined shortly after by another angel, but an angel that made us sit up and take notice, she had an elaborate headdress, big silver wings and a tiny violin. "She's a musical angel" I noted, with interest.

She began to play and I retracted "musical" from my that. It wasn't bad exactly, just.. as I said it was a tiny violin (or whatever instrument the one that's smaller than a violin is) and played only high notes, and a few songs she played I believed hadn't been practiced so much, that's all. The child however, had a stronger opinion on this free show. She started crying, that is screaming the way children do when they're displeased with something, so we had a bit of an opera going with the tiny high pitched violin on one side, and noisy (and high pitched) child on the other.

This was the moment when the season officially became silly. That is, sillier than my "regular" seasons, and believe you me, that is considerably silly.

We stayed a while longer, simultaneously amused and horrified at the spectacle, the only other thing of note that occurred during that time was another couple with a huge pram, this time squeezing past Erik came in. I was sure that this new child was going to join the opera before long, but he just slept, and slept.

Meanwhile, the parents of the other child were trying to soothe her, to get her to stop crying but to no avail, she calmed down for a short time while the angel stopped playing and decided what to play next, which should have been a tip off to anyone paying attention, but the music went on and so did the wailing.

When it became enough (after about 10 minutes) we left. To Namesti Miru we went, to continue the silliness. There were a lot of people, not too many characters but we indulged in a hot wine and took silly ghosty shots of our heads, a giant christmas tree and a few devils and St. Nicks. Overall it was pretty silly.

*Looks embarrassed and stuff*

Why oh why did I think it was Thursday yesterday? It was certainly Friday, it had totally the feel of Friday, and I even didn't get around to doing a certain thing I went out to do because it's Friday and stuff closes early. I don't get it!

Of course, you probably don't know what I'm talking about, and I can have a photo captioning post any day of the week and indeed I do the stuff on the "wrong" day all the time and nary a heart flutter.. but I did put Thursday in the tags so I feel I have to point out how silly I am. I'm really silly.

Now it's the weekend, and that's nice.

I thought I was a dork but..

I was going to do a filler post today, not of the days o the week dorkims kind, but one about how I can't even do that because I can't think up a Tuesday appropriate stupid question, because I wanted to make this month the one I do a blog post every day, but I just went through the last few and I failed to post on April the 2nd. So I won't bother doing that. No need to post at all today..

oh wait...

Time for a rez or 2

It's that time again. If you can't figure out what a rez is then you're not cool enough to be reading this. Go away.

Only jestin'. It's New Year's Eve! Wow, that went quick. Actually, on second thought it took about a year.. pretty average I reckon.

I'll just get straight to the point then. In the next year I promise to..

• Be good
  
• Write better, act more, get good at photography etc etc.
• Popularize using the abbreviated form of words, both in general and the use of particular words that were not previously typically abbreviated that way.
• Upon reading the previous sentence, I profess to learn English grammar more proper, and improve my skill at formulating sentences.
• Start a trend in using the word "literally" in inappropriate (written)contexts, surrounded by quotation marks.. ie "literally" to be double decker super ironic, and make sure that I am known to be the orginator of this remarkable bit of wittiness.
• Don't drink too much.

Pretty modest. But not too modest.
Have a good celeb folks, don't drink too much and see you next year.. (guffaw)

And I thought I was all clever and stuff...

Get a Cash Advance

You have got to be fucking shitting me!! For those who don't know, in proper English elementary school means what in Australia would be primary school, and something else everywhere else I think, but basically school for little kids up to about 12. The funny thing is I naturally put a bunch of different URLs in the thingy, and it made no sense. Blogs that should be considered particularly clever got high school, and some that are just personal blogs that are certainly no more witty and informative than mine (ok maybe a little) came up as "genius".

So I'm not taking it seriously. I mean, elementary school! With all the big words and stuff I use? I don't think so.

Yes, this is completely fucking retarded.

So I'm going to post it.

Boreded Cieling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded the skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated it.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat
called no waterz urths and waters oscunz. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat
screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez
day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry
createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes,
so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.

And no, this is not substance.

Who needs God when you've got these?

Looks like I'm not the only one out there who likes to translate the Holy Word for the laypeople out there. This is something that's been seen on a t-shirt in American schools recently.

God loves you a whole lot John 3:16

In case you're wondering what the original(KJV) text is..

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that
whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

True, one way of interpreting that is that God kinda likes you, in letting you live forever and all, but there are a few important points to consider.

First we need to remember that god created the universe and everything in it.

Second. It's not just that you get to live forever if you believe, it's that you get to go to heaven. And if you don't go to heaven you automatically go to Hell, which is everlasting torture.

So, with those two things in mind, we've got this God that made everything, including people. We didn't ask to be created, we just were. He makes us the way we are, puts us where he puts us so we only have so much choice in what we do with our lives, and certainly what we believe. He made a place called Hell for some unexplained reason, where each and every one of us is destined, also for some unexplained reason, due to the fuckups of the first two people he conjured.

One day after thousands of years he felt kinda bad that everyone had to suffer forever and he sent himself to earth as his own son, and for some unexplained reason had to suffer and die in the place of humanity, to let them into heaven (avoid hell). And then he came back to life again.

And now, we're allowed to avoid our destiny of eternal torture (which we deserve, according to god, who made us) if we accept this wonderful gift. If we don't we go to hell, but that's our own fault, considering the great lengths god went to let us avoid going there.

What a great guy!

Monkeys are cute...

It's been a while since anything interesting happened in my life, but there was a period there that was pretty wild. Lots of crazy things happened to me. One was the time I went to the Monkey Sanctuary in Cornwall. That in itself wasn't so weird, although it was interesting, and the monkeys are very cute. What was strange about it is that I actually got kidnapped and taken there.

Oh they took me home afterwards. In between some other crazy stuff happened. Anyway, I'm too lazy to write it out again, you can read about it here.

Oh God why have you forsaken me?

Well?

Hello.. God?

He's not talking to me. I don't blame him, I've been a bit naughty. I've been slacking in my duty of translating His Holy word into real speak for the common folk. It's about time I got back into it, seeing as I'm all into keeping it real these days.

So, here's a new verse to tackle.

Luke 10:17... "And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the
devils are subject unto us through thy name."

a) The 70 were were very happy when they returned and said "Lord. Dude, you're good at this conversion lark.. you even got them devils to come over to your side. I'm impressed!"

b) 70 men, with 70 staffs, and 70 apples went to 70 devils and talked with them some mumbo jumbo about god and angels and how you should be good and stuff. The devils got very bored very quickly with this nonsense and told the 70 men "yeah, yeah, whatever" just to get them off their backs. The men went back to God and boasted about it while the devils just snickered and laughed about what suckers they were.

c) There was on old man, 70 years of age who had lived a hard life, so hard that he was beginning to get... shall I say... a little out of it. He drank very much and was losing his mind a little. He thought he was talking to God one day and had a nice old conversation with him about how he was so proud of himself for getting so many people saved from his conversations in pubs. God humoured him and agreed with him, just to get rid of him.

Phew. I haven't done this for a while. Can you tell I'm rusty?

And the prize for worst ever headline goes to...

See loins in the fountain...

It might be hard to believe but very soon someone is going to outdo that, I promise you... anyway.

ROME (Reuters) - A 40-year-old office clerk made a splash at Rome's Trevi
fountain when she went for a swim, naked, in the Renaissance masterpiece in
front of a crowd of tourists.

And?

"The water is everyone's. I was hot," Roberta, who did not give her last
name, said, as snapshots of her appeared in all Italy's major newspapers on
Monday.

Well I can believe that, it's hot enough here to make me wanna jump in my local fountain here, if there was actually any water in it, I can imagine what it's like in Rome.

But swimming in the fountain is prohibited and Roberta, from Milan, now risks a hefty fine for public indecency.

Fascists! I blame the Catholic church.

In 1995, German supermodel Claudia Schiffer also waded into the fountain for an advertising campaign for designer Valentino.

Oh, and I bet there were millions of complaints when she did it! Oh I guess not. This is a clear case of discrimination against non-supermodel people who are over the age of 23! Makes me feel like going to Rome and parading around naked just to make a statement. Anyone want to come with me?