Big screen

Tomorrow is the screening of the films I did last week, it's at a small cinema that plays mostly independent films, and the films from students at PCFE are usually showed there when they're done. I've seen myself on the screen there about 2 or 3 times in the past, but never so much of myself! For one, I've never been in more than one film per class, and they've usually been the smaller roles, so I only had to watch myself while being aware of everyone else watching me for a few seconds, but this time it will be for a few more seconds, and 4 times or more!

This time I'll have to sink in my seat as the me on the screen admonishes her boyfriend for being too idealistic, as I turn up my nose and snicker at a mad artist who wants to display in my gallery (while wearing my hair in a bun, and nerd glasses, which probably made me look really really old).. while I sit in a bar picking up a guy and smooching with him in a messy flat.. and last but not least as I act the cliched, sexy but evil lady, switching from sweet to mean trying to extort information out of a man..

The last one I'm definitely looking forward to seeing, if not just to see how much my cleavage will show at 5 times life size, but because the movie was fun. It was a bit scary, seeing as I had to improvise a lot, but I enjoyed it more than the others, perhaps it shows some deep dark part of my psyche that I've been hiding up til now:).. who knows.

A lot of it was scripted, but in 2 parts I had to totally pull what I said out of my ass.. for want of a better expression. There was one bit where me and Dave (my interrogator partner's name) had to just ask questions. Any questions, stupid questions, hard questions, embarrassing questions.. just one question after the other. One from me then one from him. We were given a sheet with examples which we could use, and we could make up some. So I asked how old he was, where he was born, mother's maiden name, how many times he masturbated, favourite colour, favourite pasta, do you like sex... and on and on. We did it about 3 times, while being filmed. There were a few times when I was totally stuck, and sat there for a few seconds with nothing coming out.. it seemed like Dave (or John, which is the actor's name, a guy in my acting class) was just rolling them off without any trouble.. and I was just thick or something, but afterwards he said it was just as difficult for him.

The other terrifying moment was when we did the improvised interrogation bit. Both me and John had our chance to individually interrogate the man, and we were just to come up with something, anything, the director had faith in us. At the moment he said "action" I still had absolutely no idea what to say or do.. then I just started. I did something.. it seemed completely stupid to me but the director thought it was ok.

And that was it, hard bit over. In fact it was the end of filming for the week so I was free, and of course it took about 5 minutes before I wanted to do it all again.

Now I get to to relive the glory of that week for just a little while as I schmooze with the film people once again. I am, however planning on showing up just slightly late. I'm not sure I can sit through all of it, so much me on screen... I know it's stupid of me, but that's what I'm like.

I'll get my hands on the dvd of all the films this time though.. and I'll be able to watch all of them in the non-excrutiating comfort of my own home.