I give you to tomorrow.

It's cold again, actually snowing, or it was I don't know if it still is I closed the blind so I wouldn't have to look at the greyness and falling snow and people in big fat puffy jackets and yes, we have a whole extra hour of daylight to enjoy it woop e doo.

Tomorrow is April. If by April there hasn't been a major change I'll.. I'll. I'll just.. be very very grumpy.

Oh and Happy Easter. Or whatever.

Ok one more chance.

It's still cold. It may not be as much as it was, and the recent snow might have melted, and the forecasted snow will likely melt pretty quickly too, and it was somewhat sunny today but.. it's still cold. It was 5 and felt like 3.. then 6 and felt like 3.. now it's 4. Feels like 1. Don't get me started on the whole "feels like" phenomena.. I mean, if it is a certain temperature then THAT IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE! And how come it always feels like less than the temperature is huh? And always a few degrees huh? And why is it when it's ALREADY WAY TOO FUCKING COLD LIKE -5 DURING THE DAY THE GAP IS THE MOST LIKE 7 DEGREES COLDER IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN AFFORD IT TO FEEL LIKE 7 DEGREES BELOW -12 YOU KNOW!!!! Which is what it was like a week ago, or thereabouts.

So it's better than a week ago.. and than a few days ago but still. it keeps on being wintry. It's late fucking March for fucks sake! We've had accusations lobbed at cute rodents, people defending said rodent taking the blame for themselves, including one which you read on this very site, explanations here and there for why this was occurring how it was.. we've had the official first day of spring, we had Future Shorts Winter Screening, finally.. and that's all wrapped up, the movies voted on, a winner declared, the venue turned back to a theatre and all the cigarette butts and empty glasses cleaned away..

And today is the last day of.. er, normal time? Tomorrow is the beginning of daylight savings. Yes, this time tomorrow it will be an hour earlier.. er, later? No earlier than it is. The days will be longer (well not really, I mean it will be a couple of minutes but there'll be an hour off the daylight in the morning which won't make that much difference to people who don't get up before 6am, though Cooley mightn't be woken up by the sunlight so it's probably another boon for us) and we'll get that sunlight still around after 7. It'll be nice, I suppose, even if there's not much to look at, seeing as NOTHING HAS BLOOMED YET, and if the sun doesn't shine then, well. but it is nice don't get me wrong.. I like the old daylight savings time.

So back to the point. This is your last chance weather gods. If spring doesn't come, and I mean come properly.. be WARM, actually warm (ish) and flowers come out and stuff, once the time change happens.. I just don't know how we can continue this relationship.

Just stop for a second.

And think about what happened on this day in, well not this day particularly, the same day of the week (Friday which it is) after whatever it is, the phase of the moon or whatever after the vernal equinox or whatever the thing it's based on is.. of year.. 1..0.. whenever.

Anyway think about what happened. Jesus was (after having to schlep it himself, no less) was thrust up onto a cross to.. well suffer and stuff. It was horrible, and he did it for you! Yes, you! He chose to suffer like this to save your from you own dastardly, nasty, icky sins. Well, that is if you've received him into your heart etc etc.. and me.. well not me because actually I haven't done that really, but you know what I mean.. anyway, think about it for a second.

Ok that's about a second. When is it that we get the chocolate. oh and it's a long weekend.. cool, I hope it gets warm enough to sit outside for a bit with the heavy jacket and have a beer. You really should be able to do at least that by Easter.

Just something.

You know when you're all worried about something cause you know it's going to suck even though you don't really know what it is but you're almost certain it's a thing which at the very best will suck quite a lot and quite potentially could suck even more.. and you keep putting it off and don't think about it sometimes but it's always there, lingering in the back, affecting how you feel about stuff and making other smaller nuisances bigger cos you know there's more out there and.. in general, that sort of thing?

Well I had that. Then I went and did it, that is picked it up and it was something else entirely. So there you go. I mean, the thing I was worried about actually didn't go away and hasn't changed, and to be honest it really is bothering me in that way that it's always there in the background and every now and then when you're lying awake at night you can't stop thinking about it and it really bugs you and it's not that big a deal really, it's quite small not just in the overall scheme of things but something that most people wouldn't think of as any more than a minor nuisance but.. it's getting to me.. but, well..the thing I got was another thing, so there. And I didn't have to wear a hat and gloves while going there. So there again. And that's all.

Leave Phil Alone!

punxsutawney phil
Originally uploaded by ewaldmario.

The current ongoing winter in much of the Northern Hemisphere has caused millions to cry out for a scapegoat, and they have found it in lovable rodent and well known meteorologist Punxsutawney Phil.

It dates all the way back to February 2nd of this year, Groundhog Day, where Phil, in his infinite wisdom, declared that there would be an early spring this year, after emerging from his grounhog hole, and not seeing his shadow.

Well, anyone living "literally" anywhere on earth, that is the Northern Hemisphere and particularly places that get cold at all, know this to be utter bunk. Nevermind early spring, it's March 26 already.. 6 days into official full on spring and well.. I may have mentioned this myself once or twice but... it's cold. And people are enraged! They're saying Phil maliciously and deliberately deceived people. They're calling for his head!

I for one, however, do not blame Phil. Phil is but merely an adorable burrow dwelling squirrel hedgehog or whatever he is, and he did what he was told to do, see his shadow or not, and deduce the facts from the evidence he found. There was no shadow.. so he said it's spring! A simple mistake. Or was it...

This is what happened. Phil did not see his shadow. This was not a mistake of Phil's, or the conditions at the time, just bear with me.. I will explain.

Back in late February, I went to Eilat in Southern Israel. It's a very warm place, you may imagine, like summer.. even in the (we thought then) dying days of winter. Oh what a beautiful week it was, after a long enough already winter, it was like paradise to lie by the beach with the hot sun upon our backs, but of course, all holidays must come to an end, and after a week we had to return to Prague where it was still winter. I did not let it get me down though, do not mope, I said, the day after we return it's March, and spring will soon follow.. the days will get longer, warmer, buds will blossom, birds will sing... etc etc etc.. and I said it again and again and again.

Needless to say, I was mistaken. And that is not all.. you see, young Phil, our furry friend, was merely doing a job, he reported what he saw.. and at the time, I believe he was correct. He did no wrong. I however, did what any human over the age of 6 should know well better than to do. I tempted fate. To wish and hope and be so fucking sure.. and vocalize one's idea of the future should be? Utterly irresponsible. You see, fate hates it when smug knowitall humans talk like they know what's fucking going on.. and fate, total asshole. It wasn't enough to fuck up the weather here in the little part of central Europe that I inhabit, or even all of Europe.. but all of the fucking Northern Hemisphere*.

So don't blame Phil, blame me, for, in my foolishness are the cause of all of this. The worst part of it is knowing that those people are suffering is because of me,  that Phil is getting persecuted over something that is my fault.. and that if no one else does, I deserve all of this, and more, fully.

Leave Phil alone. Take me.

*crosses one off item off list*

Got something done today. Braved the freezing -6 feels like - more conditions yes It's STILL FREEZING COLD I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KEEP MENTIONING IT BUT IT'S BLOODY COLD AND I'M GETTING SICK OF IT.. went out and got some stuff done. Some official papers getting bureaucracy stuff. Boring stuff but stuff that needs doing you know, the kind of stuff you put off all the time and by you I mean me, but I went and did it. Relatively smoothly it went, astonishingly enough.. now I just have to go pick it up. In 3 weeks, when it's ready.. Ok so, it's a wait, and then I have to use that to get something changed so I can get something else which probably needs other stuff too, but it's something. It's something off that long list which isn't even complete because it doesn't count for all of the things I need to get the things and that doesn't even start to acknowledge the fact I need to get a job and start a job and do a job before I can like.. get paid or anything, but, a start is a start. well it's not exactly a start it's, somewhere in the beginning stages but the first time I really look like I'm going somewhere, and that's better than a start, I think. Now if it would just warm up.

O and by the way..

it's cold. Really really cold. Super fucking cold. Stupidly, annoyingly, fuckeduply seriously cold. In late March. Spring, it should be, spring! I mean I had (not really in fact not at all by any stretch of the imagination) vowed to stop blathering on about the weather but.. it's just life. It's what people do, people here, where it's freezing, people in and from places that are visiting here.. there it's also cold, and raining, and grey, people on the internet, it's snowing there, and it isn't stopping.. so, it seems to be everywhere.. "literally" everywhere, well in the part of the northern hemisphere that get weather anyway. So, yeah, it was crappy as it was, winter lingering on and on and on, and we get to a weekend and what does it do? It drops temperature... to the minuses, and not just the minus ones and twos.. it's more sixes.. and if that's not enough.. we have the whole "feels like". What the fuck is the fucking feels like all about? If it feels like a temperature it is that temperature! Or is it is a temperature then that is what it feels like.. *scratches head* either way, it's either both or either. I think. And yes, it feels like less than it is, always, usually a degree or 3 but yesterday, and today it "felt like" about 7 degrees less than it was.. when you're already at -8.. you really can't afford that. And to really add insult to injury it's been sunny. Yes, I know that's usually good but it's (or it would be if it wasn't always like this) horribly deceptive.. or, it finally looks like something you want to go out in, but it like.. isn't. Did go out yesterday. For a thing, to meet and talk to people and eat lots of food. That was really good, the getting there was a bit annoying because there was a change of transport, a wait in between because our tram was late and we just missed our bus.. and of course this person lives on a weird street that round the bend in an area that is stingy with it's street signs.. and yes it was only an extra 5 minutes we were walking about, but at that temperature, and particularly at the temperature it felt like.. it's enough. Home was even more fun. It was about 11pm so.. of course.. well anyway. That's all. It's cold, and I want it to warm up. I cannot stress this enough, and if it doesn't you'll be hearing from me about it again.

When you've got nothing to talk about..

You talk about the weather. Hence this being something that could very appropriately called "The Weather Blog" when it's not the "me rambling about stuff that's bothering me and stuff in general without giving details.. often including references to the weather". Well, the thing is, everyone does, all the time. particularly when there is weather. There's always some kind of weather, I hear you say.. but no, not really. Sometimes it just.. is, it's quite nice, not too hot, maybe a bit cloudy but pleasant, and how it has been for a while and how it's supposed to be for the time of year in the place you're in. It's when it's all wiggy that you can't help talking about it. Like now. It's spring, it's been officially spring for 2 days and March for 22. Easter, that spring festival with a side of death worship is coming up and well.. IT'S BLOODY COLD!!! Yes, I've been saying this forever, and it has been, and then it kinda warmed up but not to warm, or anything near it, and it snowed, and then it melted and it snowed again, and then it snained (something between snow and rain) and some of it stayed and then it went etc etc etc. It was coasting along at crappy weather for this time of year.. ie SPRING but much like or even slightly nicer than it had been. Then the temperature dropped. It's even colder now. I'm not pleased. I did not order this.

Blergh!

Was not a good day today. I feel crummy, grumpy, gumpy and, I dunno. Well I did. It's not as bad now, but things will have to change at least a tiny bit for tomorrow not to be a repeat. Oh and it's still cold, going to get colder tomorrow and for the next few days.. spring? What spring? Grrr.. that's kind of vexing me too. Oh and I didn't do a single thing on my long long list of things that really totally need to be done like, right away.. which doesn't include a whole 'nother list of things I really really should do if I want like.. anything to be achieved at all of worth but obvs there's no time for that and anyway I didn't do any of it anyway. Yes, I said anyway twice. It's just been shitty ok.

I think I understand "other people" a bit..

It's so beautiful, so white and magical and.. white and snowy and.. white.. yeah it snowed again. It's been doing that. It did it last week and then it kind of went away, snowed a little more then went away... then it went away and was grey and ugly for a few days and it continued cold but I thought, it's got to be over it.. got to be out of it's system now all there is left to do is for it to warm up, and bloom, and stuff. And it snowed. It's slightly warmer than it was but at this point I want weather that's appropriate for a different season altogether and nothing less. I mean, it is beautiful, if I'd gotten this 2 months or even a month ago, which I did, and quite a lot really.. I would be.. oh pretty. Ok by about the 4th week of having this regularly it was more like.. "oh, it's still snowing" *closes blinds* but you know, none of the grumbling that normal people do as soon as there's a hint of snow, none of the flashbacks to getting up at the crack of dawn to sweep tons of snow off the porch so dad can drive into town back in the old town.. but ya know.. it's kinda bugging me now.

Here we go again.

Another Monday, another fresh start to the week, the opportunity as well as the responsibility to get things done. 9:15 and not much so far, but I'm hoping. Spring starts this week, officially according to the Northern Hemispherean system, it seems. Hopefully there'll be blooms, at least the yellow ones which bloom earlier than the other blooms, I've found oh yeah and a bit of warm weather.. it's been cold for a while now, time for a change. I need to write something. And no I don't mean write something if not worthwhile at least mildly entertaining or at least about something on this blog for once, but something, a book, a play.. something like that. I reckon it'd be good if I like.. had an idea, but I don't even know where to start. Where do I start. Once upon a.. There was once.. In *insert place, geographical or otherwise* Amanda.. (or Chloe or Anastasia or Jane, insert any name really* I... Those are all possible starts, but then what? *goes and thinks about it*

I was just saying this the other day..

so here's a photo to go with it. I really have nothing to say. Not much different than usual, except, I'm going to leave it at that this time.

In the air.

I don't really do a whole lot of rereading posts from the past, every now and again I skim them, see what I was saying a year ago but.. really, what's the point. Mostly it's pretty much this, me writing about nothing in particular, and in particular how there's nothing going on, and occasionally how I'm looking forward to something or kinda sorta as close to determined as I get this time and yeah, I'll totally do it.. yeah.

Of course I don't, nothing changes and I keep writing the same thing. And this is where now comes in. There's something in the air. Not pollen, not that I've noticed but, there does seem something springy going on. There was a bit of sunshine today, though it was freezing, and they're putting up all the easter shit in the square.. and I had a meeting which may turn into some kind of employment, and I'm possibly closer to having important documents I need for said employment than I was before someone said yeah they'd help.. next week, and there are some ideas I have for stuff I want to do..

it doesn't sound like much, but, who knows. In a month I'll still be sitting here, as I am, hopefully it'll be warmer and there'll be more than the couple of tiny yellow blossoms on one tree, and maybe I'll even be doing a test for some tour that I might be doing soon, but.. I don't think I'll scan back so I can read this post.

At least we have a pope again.. heady days they were without one.. however did we survive? And it's an old white guy with outdated conservative values.. so everyone can rest easy. And in other news, water still wet.

I don't do this.

shilly-shally    \ SHIL-ee-shal-ee \  , verb; 
1.to show indecision or hesitation; be irresolute; vacillate.2.to waste time; dawdle.noun:1.irresolution; indecision; vacillation: It was sheer shilly-shally on his part.adjective:1.irresolute; undecided; vacillating.

Like I said. I don't indulge in this. Especially the noun form. Ok so I do. I mostly chose it because I like the sound of the word/phrase. And because I almost posted about yesterday's word, haberdashery, which I also have a fondness for. Not necessarily the thing, er.. cloths and stuff, but the word is, well, suitably clunky and interesting sounding. And my dad used to like it a lot, I remember.

Sunday Sermon.

It's Sunday. The day we all go to church. Except for those of us who don't who include those that never have, like myself and many others for various reasons including, well, it's a bunch of bullshit but.. nevertheless, you lot need some moral guidance so here goes.

Ok so I really don't have much of an idea how a sermon goes, I think it's usually reading out a bit from the bible and then applying it to something relevant and there's a message in there somewhere, kind of like how on tv when someone comes in for surgery on their leg and it turns out they have a tumour and it explains all these strange things and their girlfriend doesn't leave them after all because now they can understand why they were acting so weird and it's relevant to the situation the surgeon is in somehow, like.. er, she's been upset because of dad or something..

Anyway, I wont' do that because I'd have to look up bible verses, pick one I can make any sense from and apply it to something, I think and I can't be bothered to do that, instead I'll just give some straight moral guidance, ie, lay down some rules. Here they are.

When you wash dishes, (and make sure you do wash dishes, if you like live with people and eat and stuff, cos you should) always do it thoroughly, don't leave any bits behind or leave them oily, and when you're done, ring out the sponge and most importantly take them out of the sink and put them on the side, DO NOT LEAVE THEM IN DAMP SPOTS.. I cannot stress this enough hence the caps.

And that's about it for now, other than that, in general, be good and do good stuff. Don't do bad stuff.

More next week if you're lucky.

a week, a couple of days..

it's funny how there are these.. I dunno.. epoch.. term.. stage.. yes I consulted a thesaurus of you know, time units that are separated by some thing.. a sort of change. Like going on a holiday. And everything before it belongs to the last section, and now you're on  new one and it's like different. A different world a different life  and after a while it gets normal and you'r used to it.. and things are.. well.. normal. And then something else happens, you move, start a new job, have someone come over that stays for a while.. er.. I'm sure people with lives can come up with more interesting examples, but these are some.. and it starts again.

I suppose things should be normal by now. The last big event concluded just over a week ago and we're pretty settled back to normal. Is it normal? Does it feel normal? Is there any difference between when it's normal and when it's not normal, and if so, is it due to the normalcy or lack thereof? I don't know. I suppose that's normal.

Guess that rat/hedgehog thing was right.

You know, the one that looks at the sky and runs from it's own ghost? You know, the one in that movie where Sonny and Cher wake you up every morning? You know? It's right.

I mean, if it said we were gonna get 3 more months of winter which I'm sure it did, what else would it say? Well, it looked like it was getting nice here.. it warmed up, the sun even came out but that was like 2 days.. and on a Monday! As soon as it got near the weekend it got drizzly, and now that it's Friday it's got cold again and tomorrow it's supposed to dip right back down to winter. Typical.

It's because of me you know. All because I'd quite like it to be spring when it's supposed to be (almost) spring and just to make sure I don't get anything at all I want ever no matter what and always live under these nasty drizzly cold conditions, it's got like this again. It's not fair, especially when we just got back from sunny seaside Eilat and have to deal with reality like it is here! And then there's all the other stuff I've got to deal with.. life is just so hard.

I definitely need beer.

A default state of ruttitude.

What would you call that? I'd look it up but I'm pretty sure ruttitude isn't considered a word by those that decide these things.. who are they anyway? Who decides these things?

Yes.. off on a tangent in the first sentence? How does that happen? Well it happens if there's really not much to write about.. not much going on in life, not much in the head..not much.. where was I?

Oh yeah.. I'm in this rut.. I'm like.. waiting and hoping and preparing for the step that takes me to the next step but.. is it really a rut if it's always like this? I mean, when am I not just hanging around looking to the time that something will happen?

If you.. (and yes I mean you singular) actually still reads this blog,  you'll have an answer for that, and it's never. That's if you haven't forgotten the content (what content?) of any post because it's so mindnumbingly boring and then it will be "don't know, but come to think of it, most of the stuff seems to be blathering on about nothing in particular except for whining about whatever it is that's not much in particular so I'd say.. er.. what was the question again.. bugger this" *clicks off page, never to return*

yeah.. at the moment I need a paper that allows me to begin the process of getting another paper which will allow me to apply properly to the type of job which is pretty much all I can do at this point.. and that's not even thinking about the stuff I really want to do and like to do.. I'm just not doing that, at all, and there doesn't appear to be anything on the horizon.

So yeah, the usual.

Yeah.. I made it back.

Me.. being silly on the edge of a rock/hill/mountain thingy in the desert... just outside of Eilat..

And again..

Here I am, here I sit. We're into the third month already and...

I used to think I was..

I'm trying to..

dammit!

It's just been a whole lot of nothing again hasn't it?

Same old thing.

Things should be less like this.

It's so hard to do something simple. well, not something simple but something that should be simple.. perhaps not simple necessarily but.. well should not exist. Like.. I'm happy with training, learning, getting better at something but to have to call up someone to get a piece of paper who may or may not sort it out for you and who knows how long it'll take so you can even so much as start the process of getting something else which you need to get a bunch of other stuff for which you also need the initial thing for just to even go and do the thing you're (not yet what's the point, but will be) training for.. well. It sucks. I mean.. All I want to do is work for an honest day's pay.. and they won't let me! Well.. if I do all this stuff..

Oh and people should get back to you about stuff. Even just one person out of 5 that you email.. seriously, if you're one of 5 people or business or whatever someone has recently emailed about a job or an offer.. reply to them, ok, cos maybe none of the others did and it sucks when no one does.

It was a nice day today though..

So..

no more pissing about..

no, none at all.

this time i mean it..

took my time doing stuff the last week or so before leaving.. got a few obstacles in the way.. then I was away for a week..

then it was Friday, then it was the weekend.

I swear there will be no more pissing about.

Truly.

wot i did on my holaday

It was quite a fun filled eventful trip after all. With all the us going to a chilled out seaside city.. if you'd call it that at all.. wanting to have a relaxing holiday for once, and actually quite succeeding.. me being me who.. well there is a pretty decent list of things I did, some I haven't before which includes:

• swim in a coral reef
• walk in the desert
• drink beer
• see dolphins
• go to a basketball game
• have carrots with beer
• dip my feet in the Dead Sea
• walk around a city with luggage going into random places
• drink beer on the beach
• stand on the edge of a rocky desert
• lie on the beach
• be accosted by religious people of confusing denomination and get free coffee and listen to music
• go to pubs, and have beer
• see a lot of birds
• meet a lot of fish

and other things.. probably. Of course there is lots more to do in and around Eilat.. so it's an excuse to go there again. Plus we know people there.