3.18.2006

Who will get eaten first?

I know in recent years we've been overrun by Reality TV shows, and the last thing we need is yet another, but I have an idea that I don't think has been done before. This is an idea I got from someone else, but I tweaked it a little.

It's set on an island, it's one of those survive in the wilderness type reality shows. The contestants will be given an initial supply of food and general survival stuff which they use until it runs out. After that they fend for themselves.

The island will be deliberately chosen to be slim in resources, so it isn't so easy for them to pick fruit and fish or whatever it takes to get by. Eventually, the only way they survive will be by eating each other.

But it won't be that simple, they won't be allowed to just tuck into whoever they want to whenever they want, they will have to wait until the scheduled time in the week, where as a group they choose by vote who to eat. So on top of the usual factors involved in the voting off selection, such as likeability and usefulness, who you want to eat, as well as how much the person consumes themselves on average will be taken into consideration, ie, the "larger" contestants are at a disadvantage.

But it's not that simple, as with other reality shows, the person chosen by the others will not necessarily be the one who is eaten, there will be a duel, but the duel will not be chosen by the voted off contestant, it will be chosen by the television public.

The duel itself will be a physical fight between the two, no rules and no weapons provided. They can use whatever is at their disposal in the fight, hands, teeth, rocks, the sea. This adds an extra factor in the vote, as people will be reluctant to chose someone they'd lose a fight with. When one of the duellers is dead, or too weak to continue, the winner will be declared and everyone will tuck into the loser. Perhaps they'd like to cook them first.

I realise there are problems with this idea. One being legality, it would be a tough pitch in most countries that have television, as there are usually laws against things like murder and cannibalism, the other is cost. You would have to offer an obscene amount of prize money to lure people onto the show, which I don't have.

My solution is to go to the Ukraine. I'm sure with some persuasion they'd go for the show, if you convince them they can make money off DVD sales (which will be illegal internationally but people will buy them anyway), and it solves the prize money problem, offer about $1000. People in the Ukraine will do it for that much.

What do you think?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're just the sort of person I'd like to hear from. Please drop by and leave a substantive comment or opinion about my rather controvertial ideas.

I'd like to see Richard Hatch, the fat, naked, gay, tax evader being eaten on television by the cast of The L Word.

Michelle said...

I was thinking that the show could be done in America after all, what with all your lust for violence and gore, but I'm afraid there'd still be problems with the censors, I mean it's on a tropical island, how do you make people keep their clothes on?

Anonymous said...

LOL, great idea! But I see a little problem: For practical reasons the contestants might choose the heaviest ones among themselves, instead of the tasteful ones. So the producers could see themselves accused of producing a tasteless show (which in turn might have a negative effect on advertising revenues). (LB)

Anonymous said...

ms. cat:
i like the way you think and i believe legality could be circumvented if we discovered a island, much as the americans did with america, then after getting rid of the non-appetizing natives you declare a soveriegn nation and voila bon apetite. or we could hi-jack a cruise ship.

we could even do a little cheapy reality tv show for the bbc called subjugate the natives - shit lets eat some of them too what the hell natives is tasty...

sincerely

the future president

jim said...

this is a great idea. Get people getting killed and eaten in a tv show. When I grow up I want to be nakid on tv and be eaten for dinner by other people. Humans are already eaten by aliens and like to cook our butts so we don't need this show either