3.15.2006

Some people tell me that I have too much time on my hands, I don't understand why..

Tell me, do you ever wonder which of these will happen first?

A. The cows will come home.
B. Hell will freeze over.
C. Pigs will fly

Your answer is probably, "no, I don't ever wonder about this, and I don't actually care what your answer to the question is"

But I'm going to tell you anyway. I think A. The cows will come home. I originally thought, A. Because it's the only one which is actually biologically possible, so the likelihood of such event is actually irrelevant in comparison to things which will never ever happen ever.

Then I got to thinking, if you're talking things which are totally absolutely physically impossible and always will be, I will have to change my mind about the pigs flying thing. First of all, when you say "fly", you don't always mean "fly", I mean I've "flown" but I can't fly. And there is no rule which says old sayings must be interpreted in a particular way, I mean a pig may "fly" if someone takes it on a plane trip, or up in a a balloon, and I'm pretty sure that there is some incidence of a pig being flown this way, at least once. Or a pig can be thrown far enough that it is seen to be, or considered to be "flying".

Then there's evolution. Things can change, and in millions of years, it just may be the case that pigs have evolved wings and can in fact "fly". Of course this is going to take an awful long time and the cows will probably be home by then.

So, my answer is, either A. or C. It really depends on which cows you're talking about, where the hell they actually are, where home is, and what exactly you mean by "fly".

As I don't believe there is such a place as Hell, the likelihood of it freezing over is extremely unlikely.

P.S. This particular entry is a rehash of one that was written last year, and since then some new information has come to light that changes things completely. There is a Hell! Hell is in Michigan, and being in the American mid-west, it's quite likely that it freezes over regularly. So the question now is, what time of year is it, how cold will this winter be, how far are the cows from home, and at what speed are they travelling? Oh and are there any distractions for the cows on the way?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a stupid post! Forget about all this subtle argumentation. The answer is so simple: pigs can fly. Why would anybody want to doubt this?? Never seen one? You cannot forget those impressive , huge wings, can you?

Good night

Brian said...

Yeah, Hell has frozen over every year for the past few decades. Hell, Michigan. It gets damn cold up there in the winter.

Michelle said...

And indeed why did they wander off? There's so much to perplex us when regarding these issues.

Oh and anonymous. Every pig I've ever seen has either no wings, or wings which are not big enough to keep their fat little bodies in the air, so there.