Friday, March 03, 2006

Leave my misery alone!

I'm probably quite a miserable type. I don't see myself that way, compared to people around me I think I'm quite optimistic. But that's probably because of them, the people I'm closest to tend to be super negative as opposed to just rather negative. That's me, rather negative.

I can really indulge in self pity at times though, not too much, but we all have those particularly awful episodes in our lives, and I'm not any better at dealing with them than anyone else.

Other people are no help, not to me. All they do is try to cheer me up, when all I want to do is wallow in my wretchedness. And at some point in time, someone is going to offer, "cheer up, it could be worse", or some variation on that.

I never understood why people say that. How is that supposed to help? The first thing I think of if someone says that is, if it could be worse, it will probably get worse. Thanks a lot!

It also means that the person is basically telling you that your problem is insignificant and you're a big wuss for going on about it, which doesn't help either. If I'm upset about something then it's a bloody big problem for me, and I don't like to be told that I don't have the right to be upset about it. Of course the people who say this are usually the people who whine the most about the smallest thing. They're so self centred that they can't imagine something mattering that doesn't involve them, and just don't want to listen to you talk about yourself.

It reminds me of an email I got from a friend a few years ago. She's someone I've known for years, a friend of the family. Someone who lived and still lives a very sheltered life. I sent her an email, no doubt full of negativity, talking about being poor and worried. Instead of replying to what I wrote, I got sermon. Not written by her, but one of those generic things that get forwarded around a lot. It had a list of things that people complain about, and then told you to think about someone who had it worse than you, for example, if you're feeling unhappy in love, think of those that don't have anyone to love, and there was a version for every facet of life, money, friends, health.

I read it and thought. What the fuck! I don't know what she was thinking, but it didn't make me feel better in the least. This is from someone who really has never had to worry about anything, least of all money. There she was sitting in her own wing of her parent's big house making sculptures and not having to pay for anything, I sent her an email about being hungry and worrying about being homeless and she sends me that!

I don't remember if I replied to it. I think I just ignored it, but continued correspondence with her afterwards. I didn't hold it against her, some people are just clueless, they can't help it.

3 comments:

Don said...

Be as miserable a cunt as you want to be. It's no skin off my nose. If you like I'll clap and cheer as you sink into the black depths of self-pity. You have the right. And as you say, cheery talk from people who don't like to witness it, is bollocks. It's upsetting them, so never mind about yourself, put them first.

Go for it wretch!

Lab Kat said...

My favorite is when the person decides to top your misery with a tale of woe of their own, as if to point out that your problems can never, EVER be as bad as theirs.

Denny Shane said...

well.... hmmmm... and that's all I got to say about this subject, mainly cause I don't think you would like what I might say.... on the subject, not you, but the subject. ;)