Why do they persist so? Another day another entry into this here blog for this month of November '13 and I'm merely 2 days from entering the next big decade. I'm still in my 30s, or the new late teens early twenties as they say, or if they don't they should, but that's coming to a close very very quickly, and I can't afford anymore of these days, so stop it! Stop reading, stop, turning the pages, there's a monster at the end of this book goddammit and I don't know what will happen when I meet it!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
You might wonder why I want to stay here, on any of these days filled with pointlessness and petty anxieties, rather than thrust forward into he great unknown, with new exciting things for me to fail at rather splendidly though in a very boring manner, and new things to worry about that don't matter in the least, yes, my current situation doesn't sound that great, but at least I'm doing it all.. that is nothing much, in my 30s. I can't picture myself in my 40s, though, of course being only just 40 isn't quite being in my 40s thank you very much so don't start calling me that ok, well not yet but.. when the time comes, but all the same, can't picture it. And no it's not that I don't look old enough, I probably do, it's more. I dunno. I've mentioned not feeling grown up too many times to repeat it here again but, it's because I don't feel like a grownup. Ok I said it again.
I had this all written out in my head last night, as I was falling asleep, I had such brilliant observations, so wittily presented that I was really looking forward to jotting it down, but I forgot all the good bits and this is what you're getting. The good thing is, I haven't done that in ages, this coming up with something clever as I'm laying in bed at night, to write down on the blog (of course I forget what's any good about it by the time I come to write it down, so don't go looking through the archives for anything good), maybe this blogging every day has finally had some effect. Well we'll see, my brain may be getting something out of this exercise.
Tonight is the first night of Hannukah, some people say it begins tomorrow, which is also Thanksgiving, but the proper beginning is sunset of the night before the official date, so it's now. We're having latkes. So yeah.. lots of things happening this weekend, it's party party party (not that we celebrate American Thanksgiving) and it's not even December yet! Don't know how I'm going to get through this festive season, in my old and tired state of being.