6.28.2006

Whew! I need a shower

It's Wednesday and I know I haven't done this for a while but after the smut and filth I've been wallowing in the last few days I felt it was time for a cleansing. And that means god blogging!

Today's offering is,

REV 14:13... "And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them."
a) All you have to do to go to Heaven is say that you believe in God, follow Jesus Christ and do everything he says to do all your life, be nice, kind and don't have sex and everything will be alright. You'll go to Heaven. It's that easy.

b) Be good. Work for your masters. Don't ask questions. Enjoy being whipped and beaten. You'll get your reward in the afterlife. Trust me. Haven't I always been a benevolent slave owner?

c) And there was this voice that I heard saying I'd go to Heaven if I died now because I knew the lord, I don't remember whether that was before or after that giant bird came and told me it wanted me to give it fish. Shit I gotta cut down on these drugs.

Your turn. If you can't do better than me you're a loser.

3 comments:

Cranky McGee said...

I like C. It's probably real close to the truth. The book of Revelations was one big acid trip of John's.

Michelle said...

Totally dude, totally.

The Culture Ghost said...

I is the Cosmic Cheese.
I does what I please.
Get ready to be deady
and gets to meets me.

Or something to that effect.