Well I think I just made a movie..

and by that I mean.. I played a small role.. a very small role which may or may not have been for the most part positive let alone essential, in the shooting of a low budget film which now is going into post production to be shown to the world.. whenever.

but still.

I'm very tired. From the whole month and from getting up ungodly early this morning to go to church... after going out last night and drinking and dancing and stuff.

It was a weird day.. as most last days of these things are.. though whether it was stranger than the average day on the set of this thing is hard to measure. It started off strangely gloomy for what should be a fun, kind of silly day.. we got up way too early.. coffee wasn't ready, and it was raining.. and raining. and raining...

And then there were the mishaps.. another major continuity issue caused by one which was not in any way my fault if I may say loudly and clearly.. but

shooting went quickly and smoothly.. and it got better later on and the goofiness arrived in full force..

And now it's done and we can all get back to normal.

*tries to figure out just what that is*

Nearing the end..

I'm already starting to get wistful for this whole "movie" thing that I'm working on. At the same time I'm glad there are only 2 days left.. in the up til now very elusive church.

Yesterday was the beergarden.. and as can be imagined, one of the more fun scenes.. and days. I spent most of the day er.. hanging out in a  beergarden. Not to say I didn't work, but it seemed more like.. hanging out in a beergarden. A lot more people there, friends and whatnot.. and it was quite fun. Oh and beer. Not that I overindulged, but it was present.

Oh and I did a cameo. Again. Some sunglasses and a lot of hair did the trick.

And now onto the final 2 days.. what will they bring forth.. how will this all end up.. when will we ever see this movie?

One wonders.

I might just have outweirded my previous self..

It's going to be a tough decision to pick a single strangest thing I've done, a weirdest situation I've been in on the set of this movie, but standing in a crypt at 2am alone, in a pretty dress and white powder in my hair is definitely going to crack the top 10.

Yeah.. I did that. I'd give more details but that'd be giving away stuff wouldn't it?

So we were in the cemetery all night. Not the first group of people to do that, or indeed the first film crew.. so, big deal. Filmed some scenes with the scooby gang which I will be using from now on about someone(s) to refer to particular situations, which I won't explain further either, if I remember to, which I probably won't.

Ruh roh... well, didn't see any ghosts but I'm not really sensitive to that sort of thing. I was feeling rather tough and brave standing in that crypt for a couple of takes, not feeling the slightest bit nervous.. scoffing at the others who didn't want to do this little bit because of an uneasiness with the location.. and then, I stepped on something, a pile of dirt or something equally innocuous, and I was out of there like... well someone creeped out. So there you go.

Still 3 days of shooting left to go, well 4 if you include our day off which might/will be used for filming some make up shots with a "skeleton crew" of volunteers which I may have inadvertantly agreed to join.. but we're nearly there.

We're almost there.

I had quite a fun day today. We did fun things, fun things happened, things that are fun to watch were watched, and photographed. I liked quite a lot of bits of today. I think I even liked today. There were vexing parts, and one part that particularly bothered me which turned out to be not as bad as I thought but might turn out to be something lastingly bad, but whatev.. mostly today was, fun, I'd say. This is entirely due to the aforementioned fun things that occurred that were fun to watch that were watched and all that. Not due to like, getting enough sleep, or feeling physically well or feeling like my life is going somewhere and meaningful and.. nevermind the last bit, basically, I should be in a way shittier mood, but possibly a combo of sleep deprivation, said fun things and general weirdness worked for me today.

Maybe it's knowing I have a late call tomorrow, and I can sleep in that's doing most of the "making one feel considerably better than one has been feeling in general of late". In fact, it might be the entire reason.

Back Underground.

It's been a while since I took some very old or at least old looking stone steps down into a dark and  evil looking cellar to.. well, for any reason, but I did that today.

I kind of miss the ole Underground.. that which is underneath the Old Town Hall, with the dungeons and torture chambers, but you know, don't do that anymore.. not er.. you know, the tours. Anyway...

today as I was walking down some similar stone steps to a pub beer cellar.. yeah, not as exotic, it felt familiar. That is because it is not entirely unlike those that I used to walk down 2 to 5 times a week for a tour.. in case  you needed it spelled out.

It was dressed up as a crypt, in this instance.. And I gotta say, as far as I know crypts, which is pretty much nil, it looked and seemed pretty crypty. For the film, of course. We were shooting there all day, and once again, the air was not the best, and a lot of hacking and coughing going on.. just a day after the director wanted us to line up to get our photos taken for a magic doctor who can tell what's wrong with you from our face.. after being int he filthy attic for 3 days. I seem to have escaped the worst, but I did need to cough loudly after the cut more than once.

We started early, and finished late, and tomorrow will be the same, at least the start early part.. and I'm very hungry and very tired, so I should go and do something about at least one of those things.

Air..

it's kind of necessary. I mean, everyone knows, and it's obvious.. but you don't really realize it, or at least I never realized it in a particularly specific way until I was forced to spend hours in a hotel lobby in a place that literally has no air. Ok so it obviously doesn't have no air because I wouldn't breathe in there and I'd die, and I wouldn't be able to write this, but.. it has no air! I don't know if it's a hotel thing but thee other place we were int he other day was similar.

It might be the weather, been very hot, very humid, which made this morning's, and by this morning I mean the first part of shooting today which took until 4pm.. kind of uncomfortable. It was a kind of nice hotel though.

Going outside to the park I thought it would be cooler, more refreshing.. but though it was overcast with the threat of rain if not thunderstorms.. it was still really sticky and hot, not helped by the fact that I hadn't showered since yesterday afternoon..

and after some beers and some other strange things across town, with barely 6 hours to sleep if I want to get up in time to get ready for tomorrow's shoot.. out in the country..

I think that sentence was going somewhere, maybe, or perhaps that's all there is to it. It's late, and I need to get up early tomorrow. About it. And I still haven't showed.

Just another day..

on set.

Before the red curtain.

It's weird, this movie making stuff. I can't even remember the morning, it seems so long ago. I'm sure something happened of note, but I can't recall what it was.

I remember the place. It was notable for being a lot more elegant than what we're used to, not saying a lot, considering we've been located in what pretty much amounts to a squat for a week, but this place is pretty nice, though it has a rather unimpressive entrance. I know some of what happened, shooting, waiting, listening, talking, being ignored, being in a small room with many people and lights on a very hot day. Sweaty. A lot of arguing and taking too much time for everything. I know that at one point the voices, the many voices, arguing, and talking at the same time became too numerous and loud that I had to leave the room.

Did a few scenes, not as many as were written down on the schedule, but did them. Lunch.. another scene and then I got roped into being in the midst of it all again. Just sitting, watching the performance, pretending I liked the song and the execution of. before a very Lynch esque red curtain. Many times. I had beer, so it was doable.. and I did a pretty good job, put some details and shit in there.. I kinda rocked this extra role, way more than my sucky job as a nurse last night.

It was quite fun overall.. one of the more enjoyable long stints of repeated takes of a scene in this whole gig.. though I already can't quite remember it clearly...

My moment in the spotlight.

Yeah. I got it. It was fleeting. Actually, I would say it wasn't even a moment, or rather, not really the spotlight.. let's just say, my split second in the background of a spotlight on someone else. A fuzzy blip in the background, if you like.

I mean I'm not complaining. Not exactly about that.. well yes I am but more that I was shit at it. Not necessarily the acting though that was cheesy and terrible, but my inability to act on cue and deal with props.

I don't know if it was that bad, and in fact it doesn't even matter, no one cares.

Everything else is as it was, it sucks, it's fun, it pisses me off, it isn't all that bad and there's a lot of good in it. I still want my life back, and to move on to something that fits me better. And to get more rest. That's saying something, after 2 days off and one albeit long and frustrating day on. Mishaps and fuckups of today included a minor problem with props that turned into a major drama, the usual taking way too long for every fucking thing, a location where we weren't exactly welcome and blowing the circuits of said location, time limits.. (which is ever present) and of course, my debut on screen for this film which was less than stellar.

But otherwise it was great. A bit hot though.

You know.. I like it warm and stuff..

but there's only so much of it  you really need... jeez.. today it got up to 37 degrees.. 37! That's really hot for those of you who use some non celsius form of measuring temperature.. figure it out yourself.

Fortunately, due to whatever we had another day off.. no filming today, a good thing as I imagine anywhere we might have gone would have been too bloody hot.. to point out something that should be obvious due to the content already present in the beginning of the post.

I've done very little today. I totally meant to do stuff, at least 4 different kinds of stuff at various times of the day, none of which worked out. Just wasn't feeling it.

Anyway back on tomorrow.. I think it should be a bit cooler.

Enough weekend for one day.

Well I had to work all day yesterday, Saturday, and it was an early start, and it wen ton long, and there were dramas and incidents and long waiting periods and all of that.. as usual. Up and down, what have yous.. scrans.. you know how it goes.

Today I was off! Which meant that last night I could go out until whatever time I liked.. so the minute we were finished.. actually after carrying some heavy shit down 3 flights of stairs without light.. I was off.

A new place. Well, a new business, in the space that had previously been another place, where I'd visited about a month before, on their closing night. It was the same place but a new place. I'll let you parse that one. I'm not sure if I used the correct word there, but it's after a few beers plus.. so I'll forgive myself for that.

Nice place. I found my friends in the garden, up some uneven stairs in the dark. Particularly fund walking down them with glasses and shit.. immediately had a feeling of deja vu there. A friend is working there so we went over, invited a few other friends to this opening/birthday party... quite a pleasant night.. although I got my toenail fucked up on the walk home.. not my fault.. I was just walking and a bigass motherfucking foot kicked into it.

And if we shouldn't already be getting a fee for promotion and advertising.. we went there again today.. inviting more people although they didn't come. I finally got to see the garden in daylight.. very pretty, and it was quite nice out there, although it's the hottest day I've experience since the day trip to Konopiste.

The best bit was the Scrabble.. no, the cook (who I've known very well for many years) and his drama.. his drunkenness, and his quip.. well not so much quips but just him saying things in all earnestness which was totaly fucking hilarious. Or playing scrabble stoned, or being amused by the cook stoned.. or being stoned. Might have got a bit stoned.

Anyway.. it was simultaneously relaxing and exhilarating.. well not exhilarating... er.. just fun. Enough weekend stuff to make a real weekend so I'm bright and ready to be back to work tomorrow.. shooting, wherever it is we'll be at. Yeah I didn't get the call sheet yet and we're not even sure about some location.. so.. whatever, I'll be ready when it's time to be ready.

Alone in a crowd.

This is the story of my life. I find myself in this position again and again. At this point in my life it's ridiculous, and kind of embarrassing, but every time I join something... do something, new job, new play, new class.. something I do every month it seems.. another thing that's ridiculous in my should be mature state, but whatever.. I find myself alone.

I don't know what it is. I know it's my fault. I don't care enough about people in the beginning, or don't work enough to keep up the whole friendship this, or I'm boring, or unlikeable or uncool.. but I just don't make friends easily.

Yeah, obvs it's something I do.. be standoffish or whatever.. because the others.. blatantly ridiculous. I know.

It also shouldn't matter so much, but if I'm going to spend so many hours a day and so many days a week in one place, where the majority of the hours I'm not actually doing something, int he company of people I can socialize properly with.. bit diff when there are about 3 of them in the whole world, but it could be solved by say, having stuff to do, or more normal hours, or even just not having to be around people so fucking much.. cos I mean, seriously, people suck, for the most part. You might have noticed yourself.

A Million Things At Once

I lost my card reader, or at least I can't find it, which sucks because that means I don't have a card reader. I lost it the other day and found it, but this time it might stay gone. That sucks.

Still working on the movie, it has it's ups and downs, some in betweens, there's really so much going on it's hard to dissect the little bits and point them out, but I did pay for my keep so to speak today, and possibly saved us filming a good few hours of useless footage due to a wrong costume, then again maybe something else would have happened. I don't know. Anyway, here's a picture.



It's from the set.

The making of..

I'm thinking of a few different version of "the making of" insert title o movie, the one I'm working on at the moment.. and the word working is so broad is almost deserves quotation marks..

ok not true, I do a lot of stuff, and my notes, once I make them legible will be useful, and I do all sorts of stuff around the set, some of them my job or related to my job, and though I do miss some stuff, a lot of stuff in fact, I am doing some kind of work, for many many hours. So yeah, I am working.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, making a movie is.. crazy. I don't know if this one is more vexing and amazing and ridiculous than others but it's just, all those things and more. I wish I could remember one fifth of the details of what happens, but I could do so many versions of the making of.. the musical version is one I have in my head a lot. It would be pretty bad but that would be a movie by me, and I'm not even a first time director.

If I'm rambling I blame my state of mind, which is rambly at the best of times, and lack of sleep and working on something like this, which is vexing and crazy and all sorts of things I've already said in the last 20 seconds doesn't lesson the rambliness. Yes that's a word, I decided it is.

Now I'm going to go do something else.

Til 9 o clock.. 9!

I got to stay in bed until after 9 this morning. Amazing, I know. And it was perfect.. I really needed that.

We have 2 days off now and it's on the actual weekend which is pretty awesome. Of course, I have about 80 different things I have these 21 days to deal with now but I'll worry about them when I worry about them, for now, I'm slouching around just.. just being.

The shoot has been going ok, and by ok I mean millions of mishaps fuckups and broo ha has but things seem to work out somehow, cast changes, location changes, being rushed out by police, problems with catering, that's all happened in the last 2 days, but we managed to shoot some stuff and I think it might be alright.

I don't think I'm much better at this job than I was, every  time I think I'm doing good, taking care of stuff I miss something really obvious and get all annoyed and stuff but I do plenty on set and I think I serve some purpose. Maybe not the one I officially was chosen for, but it's something. I need to stop worrying so much about not being super about a kind of difficult job that I've never done before, I'm certainly not particularly suited for and really.. don't want to do ever again. Next time I wanna be cast dammit!

I still dream of getting a role as a bum in the background, or something similar, before this shoot is up.

Need. Sleep.

It's all early starts and late finishes, pickups from fuck knows where and travels to somewhere else. Many hours on set doing stuff, not doing stuff and something in between sometimes.

It's weird. I had one day off and I was all ambitious and intending to get all my files into orderly typed up spreadsheets or whatever those things are supposed to be in.. oh and I intended to get sleep. Well none of that happened, though I did go for a drink with a friend who had the absolute nerve to have a birthday the next day, making it imperative for me to stay out after midnight, when I'd already been drinking since pretty early to have a drink on his birthday. Honestly, people. No consideration.

So my day off didn't really help me feel rested and fresh the next day. More like, fucking hungover. It wore off after about 8 hours so the next 8.. (ok I exaggerate, it was only about 6) I was no longer sick but really really tired. We finished relatively early, seeing as the last shoot we'd had ended at 2am.. it was about 9 or 10pm. In any case everyone was ready for bed by the time I got home so due to that, having no light in my room and being really really really really tired.. and, what was I going to say? Oh yeah, 7am call for this morning, and a pickup at a completely uselessly fucked up place that's inconvenient to get to. Wasn't pleased. Tried to get something sorted out yesterday but didn't get through to the driver.. well, not until this morning after I was already on the way to the original lift, which I was going to be late for due to a stupid calculation on my part, all ready to call not him but the only person I had a number for.. I get an sms.. yes I can pick you up at (insert much better spot for picking up) just as the tram was about to stop there. So I get off.. have a bit of time to spare now.. and try to go buy a coffee, but I realize I didn't have my wallet.. but they'd already poured the coffee so I got one on the house.. sin't that nice? So.. interesting morning.

The day was full of drama and tensions, egos, pontificating and the usual.. well more than usual, but interestingly enough a lot got done, so, overall good. Oh and we had a meeting. Something about a family and football coaches and locker rooms. I'm wondering if it helped.

Now I'm here again, not getting my homework done, not getting to bed early and not.. I'm sure there's something else I should be doing that I'm not doing.

More on the same.

So I'm working on the set of this film and it's full of everything. Up and downs and in betweens, late nights and later nights the next night. It's been good overall. I'll never be great at this, at least, not on this shoot, but I'm not terrible. I'm probably not super suited to this work, but I don't think I'm particularly wrong for it either, I'm just someone who hasn't done this before who is learning as they go along, with a fair few people in a similar position regarding their work on t he same set, which makes for an interesting, if frequently exasperating experience.

And there are perks, getting your boyfriend to play a small role at the last minute is kind of fun, we get catering which is close to if not the best thing about this whole job and.. well I will learn something, if not necessarily how to do the job I've been assigned terribly well, but I will learn a lot of things, even if that thing is to never in a million years attempt to direct a movie myself. It's kinda hard. It's the sort of thing I'd love to have done, and really really really well and get all the praise and recognition, possibly fame and money for, but to do.. I'd have no hair left after about one day's shoot, I reckon, and I think I should try to keep that as long as I have.

Anyway, I have a day off which is why I'm able to even do this right now.

And I thought it was going so well..

There were about 5 minutes yesterday, when I thought this was all going great. Well..maybe about 4 or 5 hours where I thought it was at least good.. maybe a few more hours where it wasn't really bad and I thought things were going in the right direction.

Yesterday, change of location after 3 days at the same, non problematic actors.. the kids, rather strangely, a lovely day, relatively smooth rolling. I was quite enjoying it on many levels.. oh I scribbled a lot of indecipherable stuff, and missed some things, but then I got.. or thought I got the hang of stuff a little bit, and felt like I was getting better at this.. like, I was doing my job actually.

Then it started getting late. Still setting up. More set up, it was quite late by this point. It kept going on, rehearsals, start of shooting.. kept getting later, people are tired, I'm not really pleased to be there and then on top of that.. well.. something happened that made it all come crashing down on me.. and I feel again that here on my now 5th day, by which time I should have learned something, and gotten the hang of it enough to be useful.. I feel like I'm doing nothing.

So in I go again today, to do the same. Whatever it is.

At this point, I don't know.

What I'm doing, for one thing. That's not entirely true. I know in a very broad sense what my job is, I just haven't been doing it to any standard that isn't pointless, and I know more about the details of what minute to minute work is needed, not entirely but little bits of information keep coming to me, and well to say I am doing that well would be inaccurate. To say I'm doing it poorly, would be correct.

Ok so I pretty much suck at this. So far, I might get better at it, but I'd like that to happen more quickly. I don't think I improved much today over yesterday, but it's still early.

I thnk I like it overall, I mean, it's very early starts, long days, it's been terribly hot, there's a lot of waiting and confusion and noise and people and... stuff, but I think when I look back on this I will think I liked it. Quite possibly I do. At least a little bit.

We're on.

So I'm doing it. What "it" is is still somewhat unclear. That's not true, I know what I'm doing I'm just not exactly polished on it yet. Well I still need to iron out some of the details and well, the job is the details so.. a lot o ironing to be done.

First day's shooting done. Today was, lucky for us a very hot day. And by lucky I mean, kind of fucked. I am sunburnt, and very tired from both the early start, well not early start early pick up but I did wake up early, and being out in the very hot sun.

It was good though. Not necessarily anything I did, not sure how use I was but my objective is to be somewhat of use in this production by some point in time that point being some time before shooting is done. The more and earlier the better, obvs.

And now I think I'll rest. Early start again tomorrow.