Friday, August 17, 2012

Alone in a crowd.

This is the story of my life. I find myself in this position again and again. At this point in my life it's ridiculous, and kind of embarrassing, but every time I join something... do something, new job, new play, new class.. something I do every month it seems.. another thing that's ridiculous in my should be mature state, but whatever.. I find myself alone.

I don't know what it is. I know it's my fault. I don't care enough about people in the beginning, or don't work enough to keep up the whole friendship this, or I'm boring, or unlikeable or uncool.. but I just don't make friends easily.

Yeah, obvs it's something I do.. be standoffish or whatever.. because the others.. blatantly ridiculous. I know.

It also shouldn't matter so much, but if I'm going to spend so many hours a day and so many days a week in one place, where the majority of the hours I'm not actually doing something, int he company of people I can socialize properly with.. bit diff when there are about 3 of them in the whole world, but it could be solved by say, having stuff to do, or more normal hours, or even just not having to be around people so fucking much.. cos I mean, seriously, people suck, for the most part. You might have noticed yourself.


moshmangus said...

I understand what you mean, it is the same situation with me. I am someone who does not attract friendship that much. I came to a point where I kind of reject friendship. They made it hard for me so why should it be easy for them?

Michelle said...

I can understand that, there's only so much you should work for something, especially in this case, what kind of friend would someone be that can't appreciate you without being pushed? Some people are just chatty and popular and get on with other people the same.. the others spend a lot of time on the internet :)