Right that's it! Maybe..

Acting. I'm done with it, once and for all! Ok, not really but I thought that earlier today, for about a minute. Maybe about 30 minutes. I was rehearsing some scenes for the short film I'm doing. We're filming again on Monday and Tuesday and there are still some scenes that need to be rehearsed.

I was first humbled by the mention in a during rehearsal chat about last weekend's filming. Some scenes just didn't come out good enough and had to be cut out or dubbed over, because my lines were said shit, basically. Something like that. I was feeling alright about everything up to that, but that brought back the whole not good enough and feeling like the director is way regretting that he chose me for the role feelings.

The rehearsal itself was full of me saying everything flat and wrong and not being able to get simple stuff right. Ok maybe that's just me exaggerating, but he picked on some very specific stuff, the inflections of my words for instance. It was kind of... well it just seemed like I couldn't do anything any good. For a while. Then he spoke more about the scenes he didn't like so much from last week and it wasn't just me, but everything at the time so I felt a little less shit about that, but then there were more specific problems with everything I was doing.. really simple shit that shouldn't be a problem for someone who considers themselves an amateur but at least moderately adequate thespian... or so I think. Maybe he's just a nitpicker. Maybe I'm just being expected to do shit that doesn't make sense in way that doesn't work. Maybe I just don't have enough experience, maybe I'm lazy, maybe I just suck.

Anyway, I've got this one to finish. Rehearsal tomorrow, then Sunday again. Filming on Monday, Tuesday, probably a bit of Wednesday and then we might still have more scenes to do. We'll see.

Oh and I have my nude/semi-not so sure how-nude scene to do. I get out of the bath and put a towel on, he asked if it would be a problem and I said it should be ok but watch me freak out when I have to do it. I don't know.. I wanna be professional and whatnot but.. well, again, we'll see.

Overall it was ok actually. I don't want to give the impression that today was bad at all :)