Almost done with that..

January that is. It's day number 31 which means the last one and phew.. am I glad it's almost over..

ok not really. If you've noticed that the anti-Jan protests were a little low key this year it's because they haven't really been there, in all honesty this month hasn't been half bad. It's been pretty neutral, boring I'd say. Not much going on at all. In the big old world yes, but personally not really. So when I wake up tomorrow in February's sweet morning light, it will probably much the same as this morning.

Oh and those things I said I was going to do this year but hadn't done yet the last time I wrote about this? I still haven't done them, the only difference is that more time has passed in which I haven't done them. Oh well.. February I'll get things done.

And in other news this is my 500th post. I know "woo hoo" and all that. Still got that block, the writer's one, which might be more just a lack of motivation to write about anything but stuff similar to the subject of this post, ie nothing. I say the latter.

Right let's try again..

Caption this, if you're there.

I left out an apostrophe..

From writer's. In the last post. Very embarrassing, or it would be if anyone noticed, or indeed had read it. So not embarrassing at all. Anyway I still have it.

Block

Writers. I have it. Again. So it's likely there won't be any posts of great substance coming soon, so don't hold your breath.

Oh wait.. you weren't. Nevermind.

The interactive one..

Back to being a dork, I feel quite comfortable in this identity, somehow..

It's Thursday, which means captioning o photos day. This:

Obligatory post noting delight in start of Obama Presidency/end of Bush reign

As a citizen of the world. I am pleased to note that today (soon) the free parts of said world will be getting a new leader. And getting rid of the old one. The getting rid of the old one is a very important part of the equation, but of course, there is much more significance to it than that as we all know. As I said I'm quite pleased, but those of you in the US (the reasonable sane ones anyway) must be downright chuffed! What a fine day!

About 9 minutes to go till things start kicking off so I'll celebrate with making fun of those people who are not exactly delighted at this turn of events. American Conservative Dickheads, otherwise known as "wingnuts". One of these wingnut organizations took issue with this:

“Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American’s sense of
pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of
choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so,
participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies
— just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet ‘free’ can be.”

Oh my god the horror! Free doughnuts! People might get fat! And they used that word "choice" which means, something bad.. obvs. Yeah I know, what the fuck and why the fuck? Maybe someone from the American Life League can explain it:

“Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning
doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America
is that ‘choice’ is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of ‘freedom
of choice’ is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on
demand.
“President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently
pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by
his radical abortion agenda.
“Celebrating his inauguration with ‘Freedom of
Choice’ doughnuts - only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court
decision to decriminalize abortion - is not only extremely tacky, it’s
disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

Oh I get it. They hate the word choice. They hate all choices and the very concept of choice because it's tied up with the whole abortion thing. Well at least they're being honest. Oh that and they don't like the particular free choice that their country made. Oh well.. watching these fuckers squirm will be as satisfying as everything else about the whole thing. Have a lovely Tuesday all :)

Word o the other day

I'm being a dork today, and it's Monday so that means it's word time. Today's word is obscure which isn't really appropriate for the purposes of this post.. (hehe, there's a plethora of ps for you) I mean don't get me wrong, it's a great word and one I have reason to use often, it's just too common for Monday...

So I went back in time and found a word I like, narcolepsy. I know what you're thinking, I seem to be drawn to words that sound rude. Well you're right about that, but fortunately (or un depending on your opinion) it's not rude at all. It means sleeping sickness. In more detail:

narcolepsy \NAHR-kuh-lep-see\, noun:a disorder characterized by
uncontrollable bouts of sleepiness during the daytime, occasional loss of muscle
power and paralysis, and hallucinations during sleep

This story of Sleeping Beauty centers on the independent, headstrong Briar Rose, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty who suffers a persistent and seemingly incurable case of narcolepsy.-- Denver Post, 2008-02-08

Doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun. But I still like the way it sounds.

Have a happy Monday. Dork on!

The very definition of "fitting"

Finally, they got the right type of person to teach abstinence only education in the US. A clown.

It's quite perfect. The parallels between this sort of "entertainer" ie, said clown and this sort of "education" the aforementioned abstinence only kind, it's uncanny.
At best they provide a tiny bit of unintended amusement, typically they're utterly useless and achieve nothing, and at worst they cause major trauma in later adulthood. See? Perfect!

Of course, this clown is kind of lame, even for a clown. He doesn't look like a clown (apart from some rather large pants) and he doesn't really joke, he just talks and juggles. Take a look.



*groans*

It's almost embarrassing watching it. The message is really really dumb stupid and I hope most of the kids have a similar reaction to mine upon hearing it. It's simplistic to the point of.... dumb stupid. He talks about hopes and dreams for the future, and then says that alcohol, tobacco, drugs and premarital sex will cause you to fail at fulfilling those dreams. He talks about risks, and demonstrates by juggling machetes sorta near a person lying on the ground, points out that it would have been irresponsible to juggle them over him and uses it as an example of a risk. Get it, that's a risk, just like those other things. A single puff, one drop, getting to know someone very well, thinking about it and knowing you want it and using the necessary contraception, then having sex are risks. Just like juggling machetes over a person. It's so simple! Now if you've already done one of those things (and presumably survived)I suppose you're fucked so you might as well go hog wild, but he doesn't really address that possibility. Maybe we'll get that installment next week.

I leave it up to you, reader.

Yes, this is a desperate ploy to get a few more little numbers under that "comments" heading, I'm tired of those 0s dammit. Yesterday's whine worked a little, so I might as well keep up the shameless bit..

caption this..

now of course if I get no comments I'm going to look really sad.. the life of a blogger is hard :)

Blah..

The title there sums up, in one small word, pretty explicitly what I've been feeling for about.. oh, the last 14 days. About since January 1st.

Yes, that's exactly the date... hmmmm... it's that dratted Jan again. Fuck, no sooner do you get it over with then it's 11 months later and it's starting again.. no fair!

Ok, to calm down just a bit, I'm neither homeless, moving or living with someone who annoys me, I'm online, I have a camera and I'm not blocked out of my email or locked outside.. but.. but..

um..

it's fucking cold! It's cold fucking cold and really cold! Oh and I have no money but that's pretty much an all year thing rather than a Jan thing so..

oh I thought of some other things!

I haven't done the things I said I was going to do in January, and I can't be bothered to do them, meaning that I either won't do them and feel bad about it, or I have to get off my ass and do them, which I can't really be bothered to do.

No one's reading anymore. Ok, so some people are reading but there's no one commenting and it makes me feel unloved and ignored. *weeps*

It's cold. I think I said that already..

ok, ok.. well.. I'd say it's not so bad but we're only half way through the month so I shouldn't tempt fate, just take it as given that I'm grumbling non stop during this month (distinguishable from the rest of the year in that I don't give myself those 5 to 10 minute breaks that come around every week or so) whether I write it or not.

JMG!

Plastic shopping bags have all the fun..

Once upon a time, I had a little series going on the blog about sex metaphors, in particular the ones that treat sex as something to be extracted from the female body, like the famous cow one. and various others brought to us by modern day abstinence pushers that compare us to flowers, houses, pots and of all absurd things sticky tape.

It's been a while, but I'm inspired to bring it back from it's slumber by Paris Hilton, who has something to say on the subject. This time, we're designer handbags.

“I’ve only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it’s important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag - they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you. He’ll want you much more if he can’t have you.”

It doesn't work so well as an analogy, as noted here, what she's describing sounds more like a used bag, rather than a fake one, but I get it, designer bags are worth a lot and harder to get, therefore more desired. A woman who's higher quality (less used) and harder to get is more desired. Apparently. Also if you get a genuine designer bag for free, or for cheap because you just got lucky you'll value it less. And you won't respect it because.. just because.

It's not so surprising that this is coming from Paris Hilton. I don't really follow her much but I do know she's known as a big old whore and gets a lot of shit for it. She just wants to assure everyone, however clumsily, that's she's not like that, really. And it's sad, because no one will question the content of what she said, but will just laugh and say oh yes she is a slutty McSlut who sluts a lot! And then perhaps compare her to another inanimate receptacle for carrying stuff, but one that's cheap and worn out. It's already being said, you can see if you follow the first link.

And so the same old bullshit keeps being flung around. Even celebrities who make their name being sexy have to take pains to make sure that people know they don't act on it. Even women with more money than any man they've ever met see sex as something to be bartered for. What fucking year is this again?

Oh well.. one good thing about it is that I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of more material for this series.

Cos I'm awesome..

A part filler, and part because I'm pretty proud of this one, at least for the effort made if not for technical greatness, post.

It's me and my ghost. In the graveyard. At night. In the snow.

*bows*

Well, so much for the "global warming" thing...

NOT!

Sorry, thought it was the 90s there for a second. And before that I had a moment at being absolutely appalled at the liberal weirdos trying to control me by daring suggest that we treat the earth a bit more nicely.. I thought I really had them there... yeah not really, sorry it really annoys me when these dickheads who think it's a real "gotcha" moment when it's colder than usual and therefore global warming is obviously wrong, then again I get annoyed at people who think that unusually hot weather means it must be true.. so there you go.

To my point. It's FUCKING COLD! Brr I say! It's been fucking freezing since just before the new year, we're getting temperates below -10° regularly.. And it's probably not about to end.

I did get the snow I was pining for, it snowed a lot over the past few days, it's fair to say we got dumped on. It's very pretty. Well it was pretty but now it's turned to brown mush, but I still see it as beautiful because I'm an artist, I love the realness of the grey muck in the urban squalor. Cos I'm deep n stuff.

Of course, it snowed for a few days, which was pretty. But then it stopped, but remained really really cold. The forecast, which has been uncharacteristically accurate of late, says that the next week the weather is going to be clear, but really really cold. It's quite perfect because though it will be too cold for the snow to melt, it won't snow anymore, therefore creating the perfect conditions for the creation of smooth, clear ice everywhere that people walk.

My ass is hurting already. Blah.

More of the same..

More on Dennis Prager's Put Out 4 Your Husbandz Bitchez... part II came out "literally" the second I finished writing about the first one, so I reckon it's about time I added to the pile on. In short, it's more of the same. At least I think it is, it doesn't really make that much sense to tell you the truth.

In this part he's focused on why women's moods don't matter, and why they should let her husband get it on in them regardless.. he's no lightweight this guy.. no, he gives us 8 reasons so he must be right. Summarised, those reasons are, 1. women want sex less, 2. sex is a job for women, 3. that's some hippy shit, 4. that's some feminazi shit, 5. people are on the bitchez side so the man is more important, 6. that's some hippy shit, 7. men have to get everything their own way before they'll do anything for you, 8. just shut up and put out.

I'd more into detail but there's too much of it, and I get the feeling I've been through this before.. I'll just give you this. Reason #1.

But for most women, for myriad reasons -- female nature, childhood trauma, not feeling sexy, being preoccupied with some problem, fatigue after a day with the children and/or other work, just not being interested -- there is little comparable to a man’s “out of nowhere,” and seemingly constant, desire for sex.

All reasons given to support his assertion that women like sex less than men, he's got evidence, he's right so he can then go to the next happy step and argue that this means that how a woman feels about this sex thing should be rendered meaningless.. the logic, it's genius.

It doesn't occur to him to perhaps suggest helping out with the kids, talking about it and getting o the bottom of what the problem is, if there even is a problem, backing the fuck off and giving her whatever support she needs in the case of a long held childhood trauma for fucks sake..

then there's always the possibility that she's not so into sex because it's not that great for her.. but let's be honest, the issue here isn't a woman's desire for sex. The goal is not to get her to want sex but to do it anyway. I guess it shows how much she loves you if she puts out even if she doesn't like it. Excuse me I need to go barf now.

We got ourselves a new one.

A year, obvs.

So far this new year looks much like any other. It's gloomy outside, much like it has been all winter, there's no snow or anything cool like that, like it's been since early last year except for a light fall in November, and it's really fucking cold, just as it has been the last few days of December.

I'll give it a bit more time though. I'd like to actually get things done, and do stuff this year. I've been meaning to for ages but haven't really gotten around to it before.

Of course, I've said that many times before and it's usually mean at these milestone like times, ie January 1, and not much has happened as of yet. Whatever.

Apart from that, not much.