Sunday, April 29, 2007

Second hand pots have more fun.

Time for another in my sex metaphors series. I have to thank Feministe for this one. It comes from a site, about the people in America who are teaching young people about sex by using the revolutionary new "kids, don't do it" method. Abstinence Only Education, In Their Own Words.

One example of wisdom from the site, which can be found in the WAIT Training, Workshop Manual, yes a real life textbook used in real life school.

“Men sexually are like microwaves and women sexually are like crockpots...a
woman is stimulated more by touch and romantic words. She is far more attracted
by a man's personality while a man is stimulated by sight. A man is usually less
discriminating about those to whom he is physically attracted.”

A crockpot. Nice. It fits in with the idea of woman as vessel, a passive object who exists to be filled, who then lovingly nurtures it's contents until the desired outcome is achieved. And if you're the kind of girl who finds herself attracted to someone and ready to "do it" too quickly, you're just some kind of ordinary crappy old pot.

A man is a microwave. You stick things in it, push the button and you're done in a minute. Hmm, not sure if that's what they were trying to say.. but if you're going to compare the two things..

5 comments:

Andrew said...

Yeah, I saw that. I can't say I like the idea of a horny microwave. Does anyone know how microwaves even detect visual stimuli?

Barry Leiba said...

What an insane metaphor. Even leaving off the "vessel" thing... how on Earth does a crockpot relate to something that's "stimulated more by touch and romantic words." Metaphors don't get more strained than that!

«A man is a microwave. You stick things in it, push the button and you're done in a minute.»

Hm, then I guess I must be one of those barbecue smokers, where it takes hoooooooours to get the meat tender.

No microwaves here.

Michelle said...

Barry, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it meant myself at first, then it occurred to me, and I still could be wrong that it's a matter of time. A woman needs time, and getting to know you and flowers and dinners true love and an everlasting promise before she'll drop her knickers, wheras a man will do it anywhere with anyone. Like a microwave.

Barry Leiba said...

Ahhhhhhh, I GET IT. Slow cooking vs quick cooking, crockpot vs mikey-wave. Doh! What a moron I am for not figuring that out from the clear, concise, helpful text the wingnu...teachers used. Than you for clarifying.

I'm not sure it works, though. I spent much of last evening talking romantically to my crockpot, and stroking it lovingly... and it still wouldn't let me screw it.

Hm.
Maybe I should just stick it in the microwave.

[The crockpot, I mean. No, I won't be sticking the other thing in any microwave oven!]

———
P.S. You can add tags to your old entries from the "edit posts" screen, and it doesn't make them all show up as updated entries in the feed. Just a hint....

Pixelpanther said...

Found your blog from flickr, liked it so posted comment, Nice pics too. Enough said...now wait, was that a minute it took? ;)

Rgds...Panther