I mentioned not long ago that I might start a blog series on sex metaphors, or rather "sex as something extracted from the female body" metaphors. As I have nothing else to write about, I might as well start now.
I will begin with a classic. You may have heard this one before, it's in the form of a question, and it goes,
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
To begin with I'll break the sentence down for you.
- The question "why" is addressed to you, the man, the subject, the individual for whom everything is for.
- Buy refers to getting married.
- The cow is the woman, the one that is to be owned. I'll be playing this part(I know I wanted to be a dog yesterday, but alas I cannot deny my true nature).
- Milk refers to sex, which is something that is extracted from the cow/woman.
- The status that you get by being a cow owner, you're considered more grown up, you're more respected, and you have, (and are given the opportunity to acquire more) dependants who respect and look up to you.
- You may receive other benefits from me rather than just easy access to milk. I might be useful in keeping the lawn trimmed, or maybe you can use my manure as a fertilizer, etc.
- It might be worth your while to just buy me instead of going out and buying milk every day.
- You may find me a good companion, someone you can share your hopes and desires with, who understands you like nobody else can. I am someone special to you, who you want to spend your life with.
- I might enjoy the act of giving milk for it's own sake and find it pleasurable.
- I might enjoy the act of giving milk with you specifically because I like you and am attracted to you.
- I might find you a good companion, someone to share my hopes and desires with etc, but not feel the need to be officially bought for us to share our lives together.
- I might find you a good companion, someone to share my hopes and desires with etc, but have a particular aversion to being bought either for personal reasons or because I don't believe in the institution of ownership.
- I may have no interest in either giving you milk or being owned by you, get over it.
- I might not want to give milk or be owned by any man, as I prefer to share my milk with other cows.