Taking stock and restocking and getting stock..

and stuff. Well it's the last day o the year and it's one of them milestones when you stop and think and reminisce and look to the future and all that. And make resolutions. I've done that before in fact I do that pretty often, close to once a year actually, and like many others I have failed to keep them except for the time I made a resolution to make a sandwich. I made one with a day I think. There are so many things I need to do, many things I should do and lots and lots that I want to do and in fact I'm always making little resolutions to myself to do all of them at some point or some date or whatever.. and I pretty much always fail to do any of them.. So.. in general in the new year I'm going to get a job, a proper one, get fit, get educated in many ways, music, languages, nuclear physics whatever.. get involved in the local film and theatre community if it kills me, create a multimedia empire with my own web show, films, and general stuff which I write, direct and star in and are all awesome. but I probably won't do any of that. Hope you all have (or had) a great time this New Year's Eve and have a fantastic new year.. even though it begins with the great dreaded Jan but don't get me started on that.

all these people!

Poor kitty.. doesn't know where to go! So.. we've just started hosting a couple of couchsurfers, for the first time. It's a time of year where people do stuff, and this part of the world is particularly popular this time of the year.. new years and all that, so we had tons of request. At the moment.. 3 people sorta.. 2 people staying the night and one tomorrow, maybe the other one back.. not sure.. right now.. they're out, doing visitor type things, so it's rather quiet here and kitty has a bit of peace but, it's kind of strange. It's not guests who you know, its' not an official hotel/hostel type thing, it's something kind of in between and something kind of entirely different, so I'm not sure how you do this, really, but I think we're learning... early days. January will be slow so this is kind of a well.. crash course in it all, and then a break from it, I assume. Of course.. we've got our own things, for this festive party season.. last night went out to meet a few other of these surfer people, both hosts and guests, residents and visitors.. had drinks, talked, that sort of thing. And tomorrow night is Monday, and also NYE.. still figuring out the options there but I'm sure there will be booze and fireworks.

A return to normalcy.

I keep thinking there should be such a thing as normalcy, though I've never seen much evidence for it. In any case we're currently in that strange space between christmas and the new year which are a few normal days that feel somehow like they shouldn't be, or something. It doesn't even really make all that much difference in my personal life, but it just feels different. What feels different to what I don't feel qualified to say but it's somehow different, though it really shouldn't be. There's so much I need to do, so much I want to do. None of it really direct, like.. need to go and purchase this or that or meet with whoever.. it's all.. stuff I really really really really should do, and some which are a combination of want and should, but now being merely 4 days before a new year I've got myself an excuse to just wait those few days. I shouldn't use this excuse/these excuses for there are many, because once I get to the date where I should do this now.. there's a reason to leave until the next Monday, and then I don't think of it and then.. well.. then it's not anywhere near the milestone anymore and well.. there's like a kind of normalcy already set in.. and.. well.. enough of this. It's a lovely day and this might just pass over to the weekend for once. Seriously.. we had a 5 day long weekend and the day the 2 day post xmas week starts it decides to get all pleasant and stuff.. it'd be nice if it at least carries over to Saturday.

checking of the list..

apparently there's a sort of boxing day bingo checklist thing. I don't know if it's a thing but it's a thing I just saw, so, sort of a thing. Most of the squares deal with stuff that doesn't apply here in our household, being a couple of expats not living near relatives no kids not in the US (or UK where this particular checklist thing I have before me seems to originate from) so.. pretty much all but a few that reference drinking, in ways usually considered inappropriate, ie breakfast, and well.. drinking more. Those, I've already done a little bit.. I reckon there'll be enough of that to make up for all the rest. Oh and eating leftovers. The first thing I did, even more the booze. Still got more seasonal movies to watch, so might add that one to the list in lieu of one about someone's auntie. Hope everyone had a fun christmas if they bother with that stuff, a pleasant regular day if that's what it is and a peaceful time where no one bothers you if that's what you wanted.

Merry Christmas..

and may God bless you all ;)

Oh so quiet..

It's very quiet. Not necessarily here, there's noise, tv.. music occasionally.. not necessarily in this building, not during the day, for although it is an official(ish, well I think official) holiday here, there's been drilling and banging going on. Started really early too, it was still dark, not that that is saying much. I mean... just quiet. Quiet out there.. no people, few cars, trams few and far between actually only night trams by now, reduced christmas service. Oh and nothing's open so.. if I were to take a walk outside, and feel like popping in somewhere for a drink, I may have to walk pretty far. There should be shops, and the hostel across the road but.. not much. It will be quiet in general this christmas.. I probably mentioned it, something about orphans having found families, I don't mind, I kinda was glad but it would be nice to, like, be around other people. It's also good that there aren't any other people, I mean.. other people.. what for? It will be merry enough I think, as long as there are some shops still open by the time we go for that walk.. got no booze in the house yet.. hmmm.. *gets shoes on and stuff*

Guess there will be a Christmas..

shit.. better get things ready.. not such a big deal, most of the orphans we host (yeah they're not literally orphans, they're just people who.. well, have other places to go on christmas but would rather come here, usually) would either rather be somewhere else it seems because they haven't contacted us, or are working.. or something. so, just the immed fam. Cooley will like that. Still stuff to do, haven't even put the tree up yet.. actually, don't really know where the tree is. And it's here again for another year. One woke up yesterday and found the world and all that happens year after year.. still going on. Yes I know.. I know, it's old news (if you even know what I'm referring to by this point) and no one's talking about that whole end of the world thing anymore but I like.. lost a day ok. I was completely out of commission all yesterday and I'm a bit behind. And I wasn't even hungover! Didn't drink anything.. well except for a tiny bit of sake but it was food poisoning that got me of all things. Well anyway.. feel better now and the world is still here and christmas is coming and it seems that everything is ok.. for now.

Any second now.

The world is supposed to be (was supposed to, will) ending (end, change immeasureably, stop supporting life) today. Something the Mayans said. The world will stop working, or change in a way that life is unrecognizable from what it was, or change in such a way as we humans will not continue to exist on it anymore, or turn the page on a new era.. one of.. I dunno enlightenment or something. Or maybe it'll change in a way that will not even be noticed by the population of today's earth.. except for maybe one person, living in the hills somewhere. Maybe that's already happened. I'm pretty sure none of the other things have, yet. There's still some hours of 21/12/12 left in most of the world's time zones, so I'm not completely ruling out any of the noticeable things happening, although.. except that I'm about as sure this prophecy means exactly nothing as I am sure that there are no purple elephants on the moon.. which is pretty damn sure, but still. I'm under the impression that some people believe there was some kind of cutoff.. some time, in some time zone somewhere, when this was all supposed to happen by.. and that's already gone by, so maybe we're past the danger. I can't be sure though.. except for that, I consider the likelihood of whatever it is that's supposed to happen happening to be about as likely as... well I might have already mentioned. Anyway.. if I'm still here tomorrow, I'll post again. If not, well, so long farewell.. auf wiedersehen and ciao. Have a fun night. I'll try to drink a bit.

You try to do something good...

So.. I was trying to get everything all really nicely cleaned up before Erik got back, partly because I'd turned the place into such a dump while I was here alone and partly because I'm just thoughtful and awesome like that. Among other things (many other things) I cleaned up the desk with the computer and all the accessories.. and I wanted to do it properly.. so I unplugged everything, and moved it all. you know, instead of just wiping around it like I usually do.. everything's sparkly clean and whatnot.. s I put everything back, plug everything back in get back on the computer and.. THE INTERNET DOESN'T WORK! It says it works.. but it doesn't do anything useful like.. connect to anything. So I try all this unplugging and replugging and restarting and all that bullshit, doesn't work. I go out or rather stay out in the pub downstairs cos they have wifi for the express purpose of getting online, and it doesn't work? I keep waiting and waiting, getting another beer and hanging out.. when the only reason I'm even there is to get online, no other reason at all.. can you imagine! Well.. the next day.. this is yesterday I get online for a bit, finally. Look up Erik's flight for he was due home, no useful information, try to find what the problem with the internet is and find nothing that helps, and some info about a meeting I hadn't previously bothered to jot down. Erik was due some time yesterday afternoon. while I was out, mostly waiting around for the guy meeting me to be ready, I was expecting a message from him, as he should be back in Prague now, that is if the flight was on time and it was that flight which I was skeptical of because when I looked it up it seemed to not exist.. but all the same I waited. Had the meeting, something about promotion so it seems I'm doing a bit of work just before NYE (if there is one) whatever it is. Still no Erik. I'm hoping that, he's come back but his phone is screwy so he's at home when I'm there. Come home, he's not here. Oh and the internet still doesn't work. So I sit here, hours go by, if he was on a different later flight, and the flight was late, and his phone is screwy then it explains it, but what are the chances of all that happening? And the internet still doesn't work though I manage to make it do a few things.. not including connecting to the sites I want to.. and I'd really like a way to get info now. Then he shows up, turns out he was on a different, later flight, the flight was late, and his phone was screwy. But he was home, so all good. Internet still not working, and we fiddle around with it in the eve.. getting closer but not managing to make it work.. at this point it didn't matter as much. Today I somehow managed to make it work. I just did, don't ask me how. And Erik is home and all seems fine. At least we got a day and a half now to hang out together, drink a bit, and be merry.

Oh yeah.. the world.

It's supposed to be ending in what.. 3 days now? Don't know what time or what time zone of that time this whatever it is is suppose to happen.. did the Mayans specify that? Well anyway, if in fact the world does end or there is such a profound change in our life here on earth that it's like.. really different, then, I spose I should do something. Something big, something I haven't done that I always wanted to do. I did have an idea for something, it was really cool and would be awesome and excellent, but I probably won't do it/am not doing it.. I think it's a big much to take on really, to do properly, and I don't have my hats, I mean my people. It kind of depends on the world not really ending or changing in any significant way that would precipitate the nonexistence of youtube, for instance.. anyway. Luckily, I won't be alone and me and Erik will have a few last days to hang out together and at least get drunk and stuff. That is if it all ends.. I mean, it's possible we will be drinking again while celebrating Christmas in a week.

It's a battlefield.

I'm sure someone somewhere at some time has said something along the lines of "the greatest battles are with the ones you love", or "there is nothing so fierce as those wars we wage in the home" or "you always piss off the ones you live with" or anything that means that sometimes, the people (and/or four legged furry creatures) who are closest to you and who live with you can really make your life difficult, more so than even the like.. really big things. That's what it's like here. I may have been banging on a lot recently about how I'm all alone and lonely and oh so lonesome etc.. and I still am, with the exception of a particular four legged furry creature. It is said four legged furry creature I wish to speak of now. Cooley, the cat. She is a master a psychological warfare, mind games and general super brattiness. You see.. she, like most sentient beings, likes to eat. It is necessary with our living arrangements for the humans to feed her, and well, we try to feed her at regular times, and the right sort of food and not too much. She doesn't always agree with our methods, especially the not too much part.. but also the.. feeding time not being earlier than we wish to get out of bed. Or the middle of the night. She likes to use her particular set of skills to get us to do what she wants.. She scratches things, rips up paper, knocks things off tables or just stares. If all that fails then there's the endless meowing. Needless to say, this can get vexing. It's gotten worse the last few weeks I've been on my own here, I don't know why but every night, again and again and again, she scratches, stares, meows, knocks, stares, meows, rips, taps... once to get me up to feed her, then again to get me to give her more, and then again.. and often again. Just before bed and then again or twice during the short night before I get up because I just can't sleep. Oh yeah.. I'm not getting enough sleep. I try to stand up to her, not to feed her too much, hoping that eventually she'll just settle down and go to sleep, but she doesn't. She just stares. Or scratches, or knocks, or meows or.. you get the picture. I haven't been getting much sleep lately.

A lingering headache, a couple of ideas, and quite possibly a new possibility.

I met someone the other night. Someone I'd never met before or even seen before if you don't count this "workshop" thing I went to a few weeks ago which he was also at and we soon figured out we'd both been at. One of them internet meet up things, yes, those people in the computer really do exist! Anyway, about a theatre thing. So apart from having the opportunity to go out, somewhere a bit more glamorous and in the city, to hang out with a real life person and one who isn't the only other real life person I've so much as spoken to recently, the possibility of having new friends, actually new friends, there's something that might actually happen. A play, something I would be involved in. Of course, this isn't the first or even second third or fourth such meeting I've had, with someone about something theatre or film or in anyway creative industries related and it would be the first or very near it such meeting which actually turned into the thing that the whole meeting was about, but at this stage there's still the possibility, and really, as long as there's something on the horizon for me, some time in the near future, it keeps me going. And I had a fun night, got pretty drunk and had a terrible headache the net day, which is a weird combination of good and bad. I'm gonna say it's mostly good.

12 is the number o the...

yeah everything. If I do this correctly then it shall include year, month, day, hour and minute. I might even fluke second but I doubt it. This is the big one. After this, there will be no more. If the Mayans were right, there will be no more anything, but next year being the big scary thir.. er.. 13 year.. *goes a bit shuddery and stuff* not only being that one which I've learned to shun, but, well it's more than 12 so more than the number of months that there are so more than.. well we can't do this anymore and for dorks like me it will be a shame. I mean.. 89 years from now it all starts again, but I doubt I'll be still dorking it all out until then. So today, particularly the hour, and specifically a certain minute, are a big deal, during which I'll sit here looking at the computer and the phone and whatever else has the time, doing not much but thinking about what a big deal it is. Happy day o' twelves.

Start Spreading The Cheese.

I had one of the most frivolously annoying visits to a supermarket today. It was one of those things that is not pointless you don't want to mention on it, or even dwell on it a second after you're in the moment but extremely irritating in that way that totally small things that don't affect anything anywhere are. Just too many people, and people who happened to be right in my way every time I turned, hovering right over whatever produce or product I was just then interested in checking out. I told you, pointless, no big deal, but why were those people there? Every single time I needed to turn to a particular spot, there was someone standing spread out, with a huge trolley, somehow taking up as much space as possible so I couldn't go past? Vexing I tell you. And then the in store radio station belts out Frank Sinatra in anticipation of being in New York. I could have been there you know, right now, I could have been there had I not wasted my year not making any money. Now I'm here, alone, talking to the internet while my better half as they say in the parlance of these times, is living it up in that very city, or at least, physically there and doing a lot of wandering around alone, though he is getting to meet with people and go to bars and stuff. I want to meet with people and go to bars and stuff!!! It doesn't even have to be in New York, I'd be happy to go to the bar downstairs and meet with people and drink beer. I actually could do that because chances are there are people I know there, and maybe I will, who knows. Just another pointless day.

This is weird.

I knew this was going to be weird. This solitude, this, isolation, this.. whatever it is. A normal person would treat this differently, a normal person would have more contact with the outside world, by necessity and just, because, they're normal. I just have, weirdness. It's really weird, it's weirder than I thought it would be, I think. It's so weird I don't even notice that it's weird. It's just weird.

*language gets more lol-esque each passing second*

yeah, I'm here alone. Well with the cat which isn't exactly alone actually not at all alone. Haven't spoken to a real live human since yesterday early afternoon. I've texted, I've chatted ie typing in a comment box in reply to other people typing in comment boxes, spoke on the phone to someone from the bank who told me something about needing to put something in the account, which I already did but I think that's what she said anyway.. and, yes, talked to the cat. Other than that.. nothing. It will be like this for a while.

Not really much to write home about really.

One last night o company.

Tomorrow the man leaves for just over 2 weeks.. plunging me into an existence of solitude. That is if you don't count the furry little meowing thing that lives here, who does definitely count, and all those internet people out there, who when you're me count an awful lot. But still.

I like, almost had a job and something to possibly do in the company of other people, that is human people, the ones that physically exist, but that didn't work out, so it's gonna be how I thought it would be, barring another such unlikely even of me.. err.. being around other people. I mean, there are people, ones who I probably will see more than I otherwise would have which will probably be on the "a lot" side.. but still.. ya know.

I'll probably start keeping some irregular hours, in any case. And the place might get a little less neat too, although it doesn't exactly pass any grownup standards of neat at the moment.