Start Spreading The Cheese.

I had one of the most frivolously annoying visits to a supermarket today. It was one of those things that is not pointless you don't want to mention on it, or even dwell on it a second after you're in the moment but extremely irritating in that way that totally small things that don't affect anything anywhere are. Just too many people, and people who happened to be right in my way every time I turned, hovering right over whatever produce or product I was just then interested in checking out. I told you, pointless, no big deal, but why were those people there? Every single time I needed to turn to a particular spot, there was someone standing spread out, with a huge trolley, somehow taking up as much space as possible so I couldn't go past? Vexing I tell you. And then the in store radio station belts out Frank Sinatra in anticipation of being in New York. I could have been there you know, right now, I could have been there had I not wasted my year not making any money. Now I'm here, alone, talking to the internet while my better half as they say in the parlance of these times, is living it up in that very city, or at least, physically there and doing a lot of wandering around alone, though he is getting to meet with people and go to bars and stuff. I want to meet with people and go to bars and stuff!!! It doesn't even have to be in New York, I'd be happy to go to the bar downstairs and meet with people and drink beer. I actually could do that because chances are there are people I know there, and maybe I will, who knows. Just another pointless day.

Cosmopolitan, classy, civilized..

And other c-words...

Rinse, Repeat

Teen girl #1: Wait, so you just let him do you in the
butt? You let him sodomize you?

Teen girl #2: It wasn't bad. I couldn't shit
for a few days, though. So I took some laxatives, then I shit myself in the
mall yesterday.--Liberty Island

Overheard by: binja

I'll think of something to write tomorrow. Maybe.

Yes, but can she still act?

One of these days I'm gonna move to New York.

Teen girl #1: So, I heard that this porn star had, like, lung cancer and had to, like, have part of her lung removed.
Teen girl #2: Damn, that sucks. Is she, like, always out of breath?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, and she, like, can't talk that much either 'cause she can hardly breathe.
Teen girl #2: But isn't she a porn star? When she like, you know, has an orgasm, how can she make those loud noises? Her career is so over.
Teen girl #1: Maybe she has a ventriloquist.
Teen girl #2: No way. That'd only work if she was a guy and it was gay porn, 'cause, I mean, who's ever heard of a girl ventriloquist?

--Deli, 42nd St

I'm sure there's one somewhere.

I am so there.

Satan Island, Starring Vincent Price?

Tourist: I want to go home. New York is so unchristian. Look at this, they even have a place called "Satan Island"!
New Yorker: Oh yeah, we New Yorkers are the worst. We even sold our souls to the devil so we could all read.

--6 train

You gotta start them early.

Mother: Thas what you gotta watch out for: those assholes.3-year-old
daughter: Okay, Mommy.--14th & 3rd

Overheard by: Sanandara Bong>

It's Sunday. I'm lazy.

Wow, they really do have it better.

Well it seems like this argument which I argued against recently isn't so ridiculous after all.

Queer: Here's what I want you to do. First, I want you to spread chocolate on my chest. Then, I want you to spread some nougat, then some caramel and roasted peanuts. Then I want you to fuck me and call me Snickers.

--Fire Island

I can think of worse names I suppose.