Mid 30s... and what have I done?

It's my birthday, as you'd know if you read yesterday's post. I'm 33. Today is the first day of my (early) mid 30s and to commemorate I'm going to count my blessings. Here we go.

#1. I have my own place. I mentioned yesterday that I'm happy about this. I'm a grownup now, or I should be, and there should be at least one thing about my life that in some way resembles the way an adult person is supposed to be living.

#2. I have the internet, and all the wonder that goes along with it. I have a computer on which I'm able to spend a lot of my time. Sure it's not my very own computer, I share it. Sure, I don't have it in my own home, but I get to use one, with almost no restrictions.

#3. I have a camera, and a passion for using it. And the existence of Flickr, that wonderful website that has inspired me to waste spend so much of my time taking photos, coming up with better ideas for photos, blogging photos, commenting on photos, talking about photos with other people on Flickr, talking about anything whether related to photography or not to people on Flickr. Though, I don't have my own camera, and it's not the greatest camera, it's a pretty crappy camera actually, but nevertheless...

#4. I can get a cat now if I want. I don't have one yet, but as I have my own place (see #1) I can whenever I want to. And I will! One of these days.

#5. Friends. Ok, I don't have many of these, and actually those people who are sort of my friends are only my friends because I either have to hang around him because I work with him, or because they're his friends so they're sometimes around. Still he's not so bad. And though my boyfriend is far away, on a different continent, he still seems to like me and writes to me sometimes.

#6. Though we haven't quite achieved world peace/equality for all/and end to world hunger etc, the world sure is a much better place than it was in the olden days. In some ways. In some parts of the world anyway. And the ways in which it is better, in the places that it is, it still really isn't as much better as it should be considering the year is 2006 but still....

#7. There is NO number 7!

Now, to the 2nd part of my birthday post. What have I done to justify my 33 years on this planet?

I have lived, since my birth all those years ago in Sydney Australia in, (not including Sydney, Australia itself) Česke Budějovice (sort of, for a while, and in a small village outside of it for some of that time), Dublin, Edinburgh, London and Prague. That's quite a lot of places.

And in that time, in those places I've.... um I've.

Oh look. I've lived in 6 different cities, in 4 different countries on 2 different continents. Give me a break already! I'm supposed to have DONE something while I was there? And there, and there and there?

Well, maybe I've sort of achieved a little. I have built up a business which I pretty much live on now (although I'm intending on getting a job, and this time it will be soon), and I pretty much learnt all I needed to about making websites and all that along the way, as I needed it. It's not a particularly well run business, in fact it's a shambles, and my knowledge of html and the like isn't enough to get me a job making websites for other people, it's just what I need to know for what I do.

I've been in some films. Not a real film, just some student and amateur ones. I've done some stage work, not like a real play, with a script and proper role or anything, but I've done stuff on stage, (or in a cafe) like sing badly, or improvise badly.

And I've also taken lots of photos, I've written lots of stuff. I've learnt a lot of new things because somebody put it up on the internet. I've met people, gone to bars, gone to restaurants, walked around, had sex with people, had arguments, moved house a bunch of times...

I think I'll have that beer now.

List

It's my birthday tomorrow, just so you know. And just in case you're interested, I'm making a list of things that I wouldn't mind having to make my day just that much brighter. Here goes.

#1. A computer. A laptop, a nice one, not necessarily the most flash one but not the crappiest one you can get either. Obviously I'm writing on a computer at the moment, which is mine, but shared. Mostly I want my own so I can have it at home, so I'll actually spend some time in this nice new flat I'm paying so much for, but also so I can customize everything how I like it without worrying whether the other guy likes it or not, so I can have private stuff on there without worrying if anyone else sees it, and so when I take photos at home I can upload them right away.

#2. A camera. A good one. One which has a good zoom, a lot of options for self timing, that takes works well with all sorts of lighting etc. And is nice and light and compact. Not asking for too much am I? I also co-own a camera, but for similar reasons to the computer, I'd like my own. And I'd like a better one.

#3. A kitty. I can have a cat now that I have my own place ,something I'm quite happy about, I mean someone of my years should be living at least semi-like a grownup by now. So if you're having kittens soon.... I like shorthaired, and a shiny black coat would be nice but I like them all.

#4. My man back. This sounds like it might be a difficult one, but if you give him enough money he'll be able to live wherever he wants, and I think he'd like to come back here.

#5. World peace/equality for all/end of poverty etc. I'll be really impressed if you can pull this one off, but in all honesty, I'd rather have #4. Am I selfish? Of course, if you are able to end all bad stuff in the world everything else should fall into place, I suppose.

#6. A beer. If you're unable to give me anything else, then wish this for me, because I'm going to have it anyway.

Nothing new...

I just decided to do the Friday Random 10 thing again. What the hell! It's a Friday and it's something to blog about without having to actually come up with something. So here.

1	Chop Suey	System of a Down
2	Just Like Heaven	The Cure
3	Shoplifting	The Slits
4	Nazi Punks Fuck Off	Dead Kennedys
5	Wuthering Heights	Kate Bush
6	Rapture	Blondie
7	Gigantic	The Pixies
8	Identity	X-Ray Specs
9	American Caesar	Iggy Pop
10	Girls and Boys	Blur

Well, it's kind of random-ish. I sorta skipped over the stuff that was really embarrassing. As opposed to the stuff that's just a little embarrassing.

Yes, but can she still act?

One of these days I'm gonna move to New York.

Teen girl #1: So, I heard that this porn star had, like, lung cancer and had to, like, have part of her lung removed.
Teen girl #2: Damn, that sucks. Is she, like, always out of breath?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, and she, like, can't talk that much either 'cause she can hardly breathe.
Teen girl #2: But isn't she a porn star? When she like, you know, has an orgasm, how can she make those loud noises? Her career is so over.
Teen girl #1: Maybe she has a ventriloquist.
Teen girl #2: No way. That'd only work if she was a guy and it was gay porn, 'cause, I mean, who's ever heard of a girl ventriloquist?

--Deli, 42nd St

I'm sure there's one somewhere.

Oh, but I wanted one..

Don't we all dream of having the perfect pet. A cute, cuddly little friend who adores you, is loyal to you, but is also intelligent, clean and independent? The best qualities of a dog and a cat combined?

Well forget it!

Blood tests refute a Brazilian woman's claim that her cat had given birth to three puppies, geneticist Adil Pacheco said Tuesday.

Fucking killjoy!

"People who aren't experts often imagine things," said Pacheco, director of the Institute of Biological Sciences of the University of Passo Fundo. "All the facts contradict her."

Well, fuck me! I was ready to go out and order one.

Ugh, why do I bother?

I went to another casting at the film school last night, and of course, no reply from any of the film makers. It's still early in the day but I know there isn't going to be one, I could tell that they were thoroughly unimpressed when I finished my improv last night. They didn't seem to impressed with the dude who was in there with me, but it wouldn't be surprised me if they happen to need someone who looks and sounds just like him for a part that needs little skill so gets a role.

It really sucks because I could really use the money. Yeah sure, I got the main part in this other film I've been doing and the director seems impressed with me and all that, but there's no money in this thing. There isn't that much in the student films either but at least there's some. And this one is their final year films, so it would be more substantial roles and the films are shot over 2 days, so the little money would be more than I ever got doing any of the others, which were all more than a year ago by the way.

I didn't even feel like going anywhere last night. It's cold and it gets dark early, but I thought, there's a chance! Until I walked into the room full of film students with this American dude. We introduced ourselves and sat down. No one seemed interested in giving us a scenario to try, so it seemed no one was impressed with us right from the start. Then some British dude, noting that I was Australian gave us a scene at a beach, where I'm Australian and hate Americans, he's American and hates Australians but for some reason comes to talk to me. It was dumb, and I played it dumb. The dude played it dumber. I shouldn't judge the guy based on 4 and a half minutes of being in his presence but he came across as kind of dumb. He's from New York and claims he's a stand up comic. And judging (unfairly of course) from the 4 and a half minutes I spent in the same room as him, I'm pretty sure I'd find his comedy pretty unfunny. Of course I have very high standards for that sort of thing, I mean, anyone who reads this blog regularly knows I have a very highly intelligent, unique sense of humour. So unique there's only about 3 people in the world who get it, it seems.

Then we had to do a scene where I was a bank manager and he came to apply for a loan. Thanks a fucking lot! What the fuck do I know about banks and loans and things? That's for grown up people! So I went on about collateral and income and employment and whatever else I've heard on television when they talk about these things, and overall was pretty crap.

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to get a job already. Dammit!

Someone amuse me....

What is the point of Sundays? I mean, what's the point? I'm so bored I feel like running up the walls, I would do it but I'm kind of physically unable.

I went to a party last night. I never go to parties. I drank red wine, talked too loud, ate a bunch of junk food and I came home.

That's about it.

Movies, beer and a couple of tossers.

Last night I was in the pub. I didn't really drink though, just one small beer that I didn't get to finish. We were filming another scene for the movie My Friend Ted.

Anyway, we were in The Three Lions, British pub. The guy who plays the main character knows the manager so we were able to film there. They have an upstairs and a downstairs, and downstairs was empty, so we filmed there. It might look a bit weird having a pub scene where there's no one in the pub but the people at a very crowded table, but things can be done with editing, and you really can't have everything when you're making a movie with no budget.

It was fun enough, we sat around a table with beers, which we couldn't drink during filming so as not to screw with the continuity, a small setback. My bit of acting consisted of looking pissed off through most of the scene and storming off in a huff at the end. I quite enjoyed that.

There was a small incident on set when some drunk British guys came downstairs where we were almost finished filming and wanted to be in the scene, in the background. They were under the impression we were somewhat famous, it seemed. Some of us just ignored them and some of us tried to convince them that no, they couldn't be in the scene because the others we filmed had an empty table there, so it kinda wouldn't look right. They were persistent, particularly one guy. He finally fucked off, but not before saying goodbye to each of us and shaking our hands, (wouldn't want to miss the opportunity of shaking hands with stars) but one guy in our group, (also a British gentleman) politely said goodbye without taking the offer to shake hands, I think he didn't think too much of this guy. Well, the visitor got rather offended and called him a tosser. He stood around for a minute more going on about what a tosser this guy is, before going off, ranting on about how this one guy who wouldn't shake his hand is a complete tosser. He ranted all the way up the stairs until his voice mingled in with the customers upstairs.

We finished our group scene and I was looking forward to drinking that beer, but first they needed it for the scene of the group before I and the main character arrive. So I let it be used as a prop. They finished and then we had to go upstairs to do the arriving at the pub scene. So we did that, and by the time I went downstairs they were clearing up everything, including the beer! My beer! I hadn't finished it!

Oh well. I got to drink about a 3rd of it. It was a small beer though.

Well, that's the last scene I'm going to be in, so that's it for me. Except for of course the overdubbing for the scene we did by the river, you see when you film outside, without microphones or anything, you can't really hear a fucking word of what the actors are saying, so I'll probably be in "the studio" sometime next week.

Adventures of a scatterbrain during the filming of a very unprofessional movie.

We filmed another scene for My Friend Ted today.

Well.

I was to meet them at 13:00. I was pretty much on time when I left, of course I didn't take my phone, I just left it behind, I was too busy focusing on other things, like fetching the jaunty cap I had got it into my head that I wanted to wear in the film. So I went home to fetch it before setting out again.

We were meeting at Malostranska, at the tram stop, that I was absolutely, er kind of thought it was. Was it the tram stop or the metro stop? Was it Malostranska or Staromestska. It was definitely one of them. I was certain.

So I looked around, hoping I'd sight my fellow film makers, one of them would be carrying a camera and a big fuckoff tripod so I should be able to see him. I was on time, or about 5 minutes late so they should be there. I didn't see any of them, not at the tram stop, not at either side of the metro station or inside the metro station. By then I was seriously starting to think they'd said Staromestska, it was definitely one of the 2....

I began to have serious misgivings that I was in the right place. Staromestska/Malostranska? For some reason I always mix those 2 up. I didn't really want to ring William (the occupant of this flat, the place I left my phone) to get the phone number of the director because I'd have to fiddle around with change for the payphone, explain to him how my phone works and it would all end in tears. I was sure of it! So I just waited a bit and hoped they'd show up at one of the places I was looking. They didn't and it was getting late.

I figured I'll run over to Staromestska (which fortunately is just across the bridge from Malostranska to see if they were there. So I ran there. I looked in the metro, just outside the various metro exits, and the tram stop. No sign of them. It was already 15 past by this point so I figured I was right the first time. So I went back. And they weren't there. I had to make that phone call.

Luckily I had a bunch of coins in my wallet that I've been unsuccessfully trying to get rid of for days. I called William, he answered and of course I had to explain to him how to get the number. He said there'd been some missed calls so at first I told him to look at that, because it was sure to be from the filming people, but none of the names he read off to me corresponded, so I had to go through again and explain how to get into my phone book. I saw my time running out on the phone so I asked if he could call me back. My money ran out.

The phone rang about a minute later, thankfully, and he gave me the number. I had to write it with makeup, which I didn't actually need to use on my face while I was out, but as I didn't have a pen it was good that I'd brought it.

After that call I only had a 50 crown coin left, which is a strange kind of coin, in the process of being phased out, and it doesn't work in any type of machine so I crossed the road back to the main station area and tried to get change. I asked a vendor in some stand if he'd give me change, of course he said no. So I went into the metro, and just for the hell of it tried the phones in there. Then I couldn't find the piece of paper with the number written on it. I searched in my pockets, in all the compartments in my bag amongst all the rubbish I have in there. I finally found it and of course I couldn't use the 50 crown coin in the phone so I went to buy a ticket, which I figured I'll be use sometime, to get the change. I went over and asked for a ticket then I realized I didn't have the coin. I searched in my pockets, in all the compartments in my bag amongst all the rubbish I have in there, and I didn't have it. The guy in the booth gave me my ticket, and I said sorry and ran off, back to the phone I was at and like an idiot I'd left the coin on top of the phone. I rushed back and got the ticket and my change.

I went back to the phone, put my money in and nothing happened, it was just stuck. It wouldn't work. Luckily I got my money out with one of my cards but I couldn't use the phone. The other phone in the metro was for cards only, so I had to run back across the road to use the original phone.

I called the number, an old Scottish voice answered it, which belonged to the director, so I had the right number at least. He said hello and then didn't seem to hear me. My 10kc ran out and I stayed there for a while on the chance he might call back. Thankfully he did and could hear me. I said who I was and asked where they were. Of course he asked where I was bla bla bla and said they were at Staromestska. I was right the second time. They were just outside the metro, so I went back over, walked all the way around by the metro exits and didn't see them. I thought I was going mad when I heard someone call me from across the road, from another metro exit, one that I hadn't thought of.

So I finally caught up to them. We filmed the scenes and went home. The end.

....

Ok, filming was ok. It didn't end up taking too long which was good because we had a limited time because we need daylight, and daylight at this time of year is scarce, and of course I'd come kind of late...

He seemed pleased with out performances. And it didn't rain.

Playing with the cool kids..

I hope you all have good internet connections because I decided to dive in and post a video, something I've never done before, but what the hell everyone's doing it so...

This video is about Father Daughter Purity Balls. If you've never heard of it before, it's an event where girls bond with their fathers and promise to remain abstinent until marriage, so they can give the gift of themselves to their husbands on their wedding night. I'm not sure what gift they get in return, but as there doesn't seem to be an equivalent of this for males, I'm assuming that she's not particularly entitled to a man who's unsullied by prewife girl cooties. Oh well, we're always getting the short end of the stick here, but that's nothing new. Watch and learn.

Does that mean I'm a grownup now?

Well I finally have my own place all to myself! It's mine, mine, mine! I was kind of vaguely in a small way looking forward to this, to changing things around and making the place my own, having the place to myself and all kinds of new ideas for self portraits, but I just can't be bothered now. I just don't care, none of that shit matters. I feel alone, miserable and just, well, bla!

He's a star..

Ted
Originally uploaded by Ms Kat.

I did another shoot of the film I'm gonna be in last night. It went ok, not much else to say about it except for it was decidedly free of people peppering the word "darling" in their speech. Sure to disappoint some...

I decided to take along Mr Camera and get a few shots of the action as it was being filmed. This is Ted, and he is who the movie is all about. He doesn't do much but it's named after him so he must be important.

Just to reassure you that I'm still on this blogging thing...

What is it with Saturdays? They're so fucking boring! I'm totally bored out of my mind and have plenty of time to write a long and thoughtful post, but of course I have nothing to say.

It's still cold, only it's rainy as well now. My weather program say it's 5 degrees but it feels like 1. What the fuck does that mean? Either it's 5 degrees or it's not! And if it's 5 degrees then whatever it feels like feels like 5 degrees don't you think? Anyway it's fucking cold, and there have been a few people around wearing woolly caps and gloves already so I shouldn't worry about looking like a dork, not that I should anyway because it's pretty clear that I'm a dork regardless of woolly hats. I should embrace my dorkism. At least my ears won't fall off.

The other night we filmed the first bit of our movie. I wasn't really pleased with the final take of my bit that they chose, but it wasn't all that bad. Next shooting is on next Tuesday, and a few more after that and it should be done by late November. After that there's nothing but the cold, dark and loneliness to keep me company.

Oh yeah, that Christmas thing. Grrrr.

Such a lovely time of year....

It's been such a beautiful autumn. Very mild, almost like spring but with all the beautiful bright colours that the falling leaves give us. Ah, so lovely.

Until today. Actually until about a week ago. One day it cooled down a little. Then it got a little colder. Then it got colder still, and this morning when I went out it was fucking freezing!!!! My bloody ears nearly broke off!!

Ok, I'm slightly exaggerating, but this presents a dilemma. I have the feeling I'm going to need to wear my woolly hat very soon. But it's only November! I can't wear a fucking beanie in early November, I'll look like a fucking dork! If only other people would already wear them, but they won't, because it's fucking early November and they don't want to look like a dork. They'll wait until everyone else starts wearing them and then....

See what I mean? Life is so hard.

Now all I need is the cats.

I've come one step closer to realizing my dream. Yesterday I moved. Into my own flat this time. Finally after years of sharing I have my own place.

Actually though, right now I'm sharing it with someone for a short while. This is because the time I needed to move out of my other flat coincided (closely enough) with the time a certain person I know is leaving town.

And that will bring me yet closer still to my ultimate ambition of being a mad old spinster. For when he leaves on that jet plane, never to return*, I will be truly alone, with no one to love, or care about, or talk mindless nonsense with (someone cue the violins here please).

At least I'll have my own place, and now I can finally get some cats, and really, who need a man when you've got a kitten to cuddle:).

And of course it opens up more possibilities for better self portraits in exciting new environments. Oh yeah, I'm gonna have a whale of a time, (sigh).

*with vague ideas to maybe come back one of these days, but I'm not holding my breath here.