A deep thought, just for a second...

Drinking shall commence very soon.

It's that time o' the year again, where we reminisce about the last 12 months, make plans for the next and mark the passing of the time thinking, drinking and being generally debaucherous.

I'll get to the latter stuff in a minute.. but first I must finish up business. Yes.. even I get serious some times, and as I listen to the early starters setting their rockets off.. I'm going to sit here and reminisce about the last year.. and make plans for the next.

Well.. the last year has been... I dunno. Done some stuff, not a lot but some. Very late starter it was, mostly the same as other years, didn't do much work or make much money.. went to a place I'd never been before that was a big deal.. and started acting class again. Finally acted in something in December.. and finally got around to my ambition of actually being the maker of a film even later than that in December.. with my collaboration in a very rough around the edges short film that no one's seen yet. So not bad. It covers last year's rez #3 except it wasn't one of those ideas I had, or my idea at all really but something new that I sorta helped in the coming up with.. but it's close. The work stuff.. forget about it.

I am proud to say though, that #1 I utterly rocked. I did a self portrait for every fucking day of this fucking year. And to celebrate, I shall present to you, number 365 o' 365..



For the next year.. I dunno, more of the same, more movies, acting in and making, better movies.. both again. Get a job, an actual job that pays money and.. well, just be super awesome in general.

I don't think that'll be much of a problem :P

See you next year!

That halfway house they call... um..

what do they call it? They don't call it anything really, because it's not anything particular I'm talking about. I mean that weird time between xmas and the new year, where it's regular days, and it's sort of back to normal but there's that feeling hanging over you, that this thing everyone makes such a big deal about just came and there's this other thing coming that's sort of part of it so it's not over.. but you go to work like normal and if it's a year when christmas, and therefore the new year as well fall exactly on the weekend it's more than ever a normal week, but it's strange just the same.

Not that I go to work, really. Not that I've done any work, really, this working week.. well someone who I'm supposed to be working with is what I like to refer to as AWOL, so it's been checking emails and seeing if that site has got over the glitch so I can post stuff and it hasn't so it's been a typical week for me, ie, not working all that much at all.

My point is, it's weird. You thought I didn't have one didn't you? You thought that when I said "my point is" it would peter off and I'd admit that there isn't one.. but I have one. I might be getting better at this.

Well anyway.. that whole "writing proper" thing I wrote about will have to wait. Until next year probably.

Happy halfway house limbo or whatever.

It might be a bit early for this..

but I'm making a half hearted resolution to start writing properly. Lately.. if you've noticed and you probably haven't seeing as you, the public are not reading, as this blog is crap, but if you have then you might have noticed that lately, and by lately I mean something like 2-3 years.. my writing has been little more than the jotting down of thoughts as they come to me...

I mean I used to write proper posts.. I mean, comparatively proper. I even used to have subjects, and write about "stuff" as opposed to what I've been doing, or that I've been doing nothing worth writing about but writing about it anyway, or writing about writing about doing nothing worth writing about.. I could go on.. and I used to write in a slightly more.. shall I say.. readable manner.

I would like to get into the habit of doing that again.. more, is all I'm sayin.

And the big one is here..

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have/are having/had a great one.. I've had a nice one.. a lovely stroll through the Old Town Square last night for xmas eve.. it's actually the first time ever I've been out in the city on Christmas Eve.. very strange to find out that the night trams start from so early..



well anyway, it actually snowed, but it was a light, rain like snow.. but we did wake up to a white-ish city today, which was nice.

Just having food and drinks and friends at home today..

The rest of us... just whine.

Happy Festivus all!

Today is the holiday for the "rest of us" those that don't follow any of those other more glamorous holidays.. you know, the ones with the presents and the big feasts and the tinsel and the candles and the fun..

well this one is for sitting around a pole.. wrestling one's relatives and grumbling about stuff with the people you're forced to spend the holidays with.. well in this case it's sanctioned, in fact encouraged, well it's part of the ceremony.

so yeah, that's today.

Welcome to the week o holidays..

This week has a lot of holidays in it. S'true.. I know, christmas kind of overpowers everything but there are others.. you know.. I'll get to them when I get to them, and I might even make up a few (I think there's a non-holiday day in there) and repeat some we didn't do properly earlier but.. yeah, holidays..

today is the solstice, winter or summer depending on which hemisphere you're in, so it's either the longest day (o joy) or it's the shortest day in which case the days will get longer from here on out.. so drinks all round!

o and... woooo



Happy Holidays all!

Oh.. humbug!

It really doesn't feel a lot like christmas right now... I mean.. it didn't earlier anyway. Let's just say it hasn't been the best Monday.. and you know Mondays.. well, this has been a particularly crappy one.

But I sorta lie.. it's evening.. we have a coat of fresh snow outside and Erik's on his way back so...

oh who cares..

Thought I'd post a picture..

Just so you can see how much it's been snowing here..



a fair bit I'd say..

It's weird being home alone..

Things change around here, my hours change, the place changes shape ok it gets really messy because I don't have to worry about cleaning stuff up right away so I don't... and the cat changes her habits.. seriously.

It's just weird, is what I'm saying.

So I'm done..

We just finished the shooting for this film we're doing. Well maybe, there's one little bit to do, and as I'm providing the cam I will have to be there for it and we might have to reshoot something or do another scene to replace it because.. well at first I thought I'd lost it, or rather hadn't shot it.. well I forgot about it actually and thought I had lost/hadn't shot some amusing outtakes of us dancing and being super dorks.. but there was also some footage that was supposed to go in the film, but it turned out I had it.. I just hadn't seen it at first.. it was inside this folder and there were 2 folders in the folder and there was 2 of them and it was different folders that I'm used to because I'm using a different camera you know what I mean?

Well anyway, we have it, but the footage is total crap. So we might have to replace it, or do without it, we'll see. I'm not editing.. so I don't have to be bothered with that.

So.. it went well. Much better than the first night we did it.. and I don't want to downplay the importance experience, even a little bit makes to this, but quite frankly a certain person that was part of the other shooting that wasn't at this one... who is just the slightest bit exasperating, may have more to do with it. I mean.. it's messy, the footage is bad quality and the movie idea is average at best.. but we're learning something.. I think.

I had fun. We laughed, we talked, we shot stuff. Now that's done, until we do another.

Well except for the editing which I'm not doing but there's still the final film to see, and the bits we may end up reshooting.

*stocks up on bottles*

Getting ready for another stint home alone.. yes Erik is going away again and yes, yet again I'm not going anywhere but staying here all alone that is if you don't count Cooley which to be fair does make quite a difference.

So.. I'll be here, with just Cooley, having in depth conversations with her again. It'll be a bit different. I do have work, that is someone who comes over every day he's not drunk to, to get stuff up online and whatever.. and I'm making a film.. and know people.

Won't be so bad really. Still.. any excuse to drown one's whatever one's feeling.

At long last, I get to tick off another item on the list.

Last night I had my, debut if you like, into the world of filmmaking. I mean.. I've acted in them before, and I've filmed stuff on my camera before, I've even filmed stuff that at a stretch could be something related to making a video that was worthy of calling something like filmmaking even though it's still on a tape that I can't access but that's not the point and I don't want to talk about it.. but I've never actually made a movie before.

Well.. now I, and others, have started. I didn't exactly have a huge part in the making of.. nor even much of a role in this bit.. but I did help come up with the original idea.. and was there when the general idea and plan was finally made, and then contributed some more as we met more times and changed it a bit.. and I provided pretty much all the equipment.. and filmed a little, and assisted the self appointed director somewhat with lights and ideas and stuff...

well I'm part of it. This is mine.. ours, not just someone else's I'm acting in.

It was kind of a mess, I mean, the idea was kind of a mess to begin with, and I had no idea how to do it.. but luckily one of our group.. the one who took upon directing duties right from the start seemed to have more specific ideas.. so we shot those. Then we shot more.. did it again, then again, did more.. some closeups. Not so bad for a first time job from pretty much everybody.. including people who've never even acted in films before.

Of course.. I have no idea what it's going to look like.. or indeed what it looks like as I haven't had the time.. or rather the nerve to look at the footage. It will be seen though.. I was clever enough to film it digitally this time.

I'm gonna do something.

Honestly. I am. You remember a couple of months ago I was talking about this idea I had, I was reporting it here so I would actually get around to doing it, and I didn't get around to doing it until ages after that, and after I'd done it I couldn't do anything with it, and I left it for a while, and tried again, and still couldn't do anything with it and I think I tried something again after that...

well anyway, nothing came of it. But this will happen. I'm doing it with other people this time, and luckily they, at least some of them are more, how should I put it, purposeful than me, so I think something might get done.

And soon! We have dates! For doing stuff! Of course there's editing.. and I'm planning to use the same camera which brought us the previous debacle and come to think of it I should be getting that out and preparing it now.. but.. well, at some point there will be something that someone can see. I promise it. Kind of.

I finally did it!

This year has been a bit of a wasteland for me, regarding my life's purpose, that for which I live, my passion that flows through my veins... sorta kinda, which is you know.. acting and stuff. I've done nothing, "literally" nothing.

Until yesterday, which was my annual debut at real life acting.. not some interview, not just hanging around doing some silly promo for something that I wasn't considered good enough to act for which didn't end up happening anyway.. not another of the meetings I had for other stuff that never happened.. not a reading, not "rehearsal", not an acting class, but really acting in a real life film. Well a student film ok, but it's something.

Yesterday, was also the coldest day ever recorded on earth, or at least the coldest day here so far this year, until today, and there was tons of snow, and my scene was set outside, in the wilderness. We went to the wilderness on the tram.. short trip across the river but with the 20+ minute wait, and lugging all the equipment, or in my case watching the others lug equipment it was a fitting start to the day. The wilderness was very beautifully played by a popular central Prague park, due to the difficulty of getting anywhere whenever it snows a bit in early December. Fortunately due to the cold and the heavy snowfall very few people were about so it being remote was convincing enough.. I think.

We set up camp.. I was hoping for somewhere near a cafe, or cabin or a structure of any sort, but we had no such thing... we had to brave the outdoors as best we could.
And it was cold, real fucking cold. Somehow during rehearsing our moves or filming it wasn't that bad.. partly because I was moving of course.. but I think because my mind was on something. The second we finished and the long session of standing around waiting commenced, I felt the cold very sharply. And there was a lot of that.

I did have fun, really did. It was quite an adventure, being out there, knee deep in snow, playing scenes, getting snow in your boots, and being on set is always fun, the acting bit, the joking around and being stupid bit, the seeing people I haven't seen for a while. Of course, looking back from the comfort of my room, with dry socks, it seems all the more nostalgic.. at the time I was more preoccupied with the cold, and the wet socks..

We had a short break in the only place with an indoors within a 10 minute walk, some fancy cafe/restaurant where nobody was, except for the manager who was outside shoveling snow most of the time, and bought overpriced hot chocolate for the privilege.. took off our shoes for a bit, let the feet thaw out and I mean thaw out.. they were literally frozen, or at least it felt like it. Broke a glass left on another table.. I mean I didn't but one of the party did and I watched on as they tried to clear it up before the manager came back inside. It's funny that, how often do you find yourself in that situation? You break something in an establishment and nobody but those of your party see it, no staff, no other customers. What is the correct protocol in such a situation? We found it a little awkward.

So.. the later part of filming was nicer.. it was shorter, and a bit of sun streamed through the trees making it seem really warm, and it looked lovely. All of it was just beautiful, and something I would never have dragged myself out to see if I didn't have to.

And that's it. I mean, going home was a pain, I had to get a tram, metro then a tram and I missed one just getting out of the metro and the next one after that decided to succumb to the chaos that's effecting our public transport because of the snow and didn't come for like 40 minutes.. so I waited there, freezing, not wanting to walk home and slip on my ass 6 times, socks wet, not knowing whether it's coming in a minute or in 30.. but that's not important.

And today is even colder, so I'm extra glad that filming was yesterday.

At least I'm sure it won't rain, and there won't be any ants.

I'm going to be acting in a film tomorrow. First one I've actually been in all year, pathetically enough, but at least there'll be one to show for dammit. It's set, at least this part of it, the only part I'm in, outside. Somewhere out of the city, on a hill. We're supposed to be having a picnic.

Now, when these filmmakers made plans to film their stuff in late November, early December, I'm sure they weren't expecting balmy sunny weather, and were probably making a choice to take a chance that it would rain on those dates, but I don't think anyone expected this.

It's been fucking snowing. It's been continuing fucking snowing, it's snowing now, it's snowing heavily, it will probably snow tomorrow. The script will probably need to be changed to say we're going on, say a hike, rather than a picnic, but goodness if it isn't going to be fun out there. I think it's supposed to be -5 or below, so I'm really going to like that bit.

And I'm still not completely well, but I could be by tomorrow.. that is, if I don't go gallivanting about tonight in this freezing slushy mess. That wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have class tonight, and if it wasn't the last class of the term, and I really really want to go to it, though to be honest I really don't feel like going. Have you seen how much snow is out there? And I don't have an activity :Z

Life is hard.