Yes, I was right!

I don't know what I'm doing. I might have mentioned that. About this "acting" thing. The director, as I recently mused might also be putting on airs about knowing what he's doing, actually seems to have a pretty firm grasp on that very thing..

I had a meeting/rehearsal today, went through some scenes, was asked to play them with different things in mind and every time said the words with a slightly different emphasis not necessarily related what one would do in those imaginary situations. Then I walked around a bit miming stuff, which felt and probably looked ridiculous, but that's what you do, that's what the pros do except they do it properly.

I remember him saying something that perfectly encapsulated his demonstration of being really serious about this stuff as well as knowledgeable, combined with my response to it, which was to feel completely bogus*, but I don't remember what it was. Perhaps it will come to me later. Something to do with being far away and close.

Maybe it was looking in the mirror and seeing something intimate in myself. That's part of it.

Well it didn't go badly, I'll get better as the rehearsals go along, and when I'm on the actual set and I have other actors to react to. It usually does.

I have another rehearsal tomorrow, after acting in another film.. now I feel all lofty, funny it's been ages since I've done any acting at all, I'd almost forgotten I even do it, and now I've got all these things going on. Well two, and one of them is just something that anyone who wants to show up can do, but for me it's something.

* not in a colloquial c. 1990 way but in the sense of feeling like a fraud.. a pretender to the thespian title, a pseudo-actor etc