3.15.2007

A lot of noise equals a swanky kitchen.

Why are people so into home improvements? Is it really so important to have a place that's airy, comfortable, has enough space and is pleasant to live in? Is it so important that they have to do it in my building during the morning hours? Like today for example, at about 8am the hammering started. It stopped after a while, then started again, after that some drilling and so on. This has been going on for a couple of weeks, about every second day or so. Always at a time well before I need to desire to wake up*.

It's probably coming from downstairs somewhere, but I don't know exactly where. I'm going to have to investigate though, so I can find out who it is and kill him. It would be nice if I could just get the law in and get them to take care of it, doesn't have to be an execution, just get him locked up (I may feel passionately about this subject, but I am fair), but unfortunately this country is lax about these things and there is no law against hammering and drilling in a multiple residence building at any time before 3 in the afternoon... so I'm going to have to take care of this myself.

I have to have to be clever about it, as I don't like blood and I'm not too enthusiastic about wrestling with someone who is almost certainly bigger than me. I'm going to get him to invite me over for tea, so I can slip something into his when he's not looking, and quietly leave. I'd invite him over for tea, but then there'd be an inconvenient body to dispose of.

I'll think of it more once I've gotten some sleep.

*Though this morning was an exception. I actually got up very early to go to the centre to take photos. The noise started after I came back and was resting some more.

3 comments:

Ronald said...

Michelle, this is a well executed rant. You seem to be hitting top form of late showing off your dry, understated humour. This is what blogging is all about. Using my own personal rating system I give it five out of five pussies (the real bad stuff slips out of the pussy-zone and into the testicle trough - five out of five testicles equates to a 'complete load of bollocks')

By the way, I ask the same question: why the fuck do people get into home improvements?

Michelle said...

I really don't know Don. My guess is it that they hate their neigbhours.

Ronald said...

Here's a question: on the one hand you have a hammer, nails, a saw, and a shit-load of wood; on the other, you have nifty little PC or laptop, equipped for the Internet, gaining you access to a wealth of information and people from all over the world. What do you do? Do you get stuck into the wood and attempt making a set of bookshelves? or do you put the kettle on, get the biscuit tin out, and settle in to a comfy session online? Hmmm... it's a toughie.