I'm feeling a bit mopey at the moment. I have a case of those things the blahs.. you know when you're feeling down for no particular reason, and when you stop to think about it you wonder why you're feeling like that you can't figure out why but you nevertheless continue to feel that way. I mean, feeling physically not great can contribute.. and I've been feeling.. not sick exactly, but not well, and as if I'm about to get sick, this does not please me.
And well.. there is stuff, practical stuff, personal stuff, crappy stuff that's always there that I try to avoid thinking of which lingers around in the background some of the time and is thrust to the forefront without my consent at times which explain this feeling in themselves but I feel there's something outside of it.. something that's.. blah.
This stuff going on can certainly contribute, and one thing at the moment bothering me, which was triggered by one of the aforementioined crummy things is the realization that I'm me, and I always will be and sometimes, I just can't escape thinking about it.. that certain things about me which I kinda know but haven't focused on so much are so true and so real, and these are things that get in the way of me moving forward, with life, with all this acting stuff.. and although I hate that about myself I don't want to change it, I just don't want to and won't do it, because changing it would involve doing stuff that I really don't want to do... and I really don't want to do it.
And being half an hour in a crowded post office waiting for what I hoped was a long lost package, and instead picking up something huge and bulky that was a return.. doesn't help at all. And now I have to go to class. Why do I never seem to be in the mood for it?
10.25.2010
The bla bla blahs...
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6 comments:
I get the blahs regularly. I know, I know, you're gobsmacked. You had no idea. So hard to believe. But I kid you not, it's absolutely true. Anyway, what I mean to say is, I know what it's like, to suddenly be beset by them.
You know what.. I don't believe that.. seriously.
Ok so I'm kidding.. but, I think it happens to everyone, some people more than others, for sure, but I've never met anyone who doesn't complain, a lot.. even those that complain that others complain so much, in fact, they tend to complain more than most, ie, complaining that other people complain..
I'm introspective. A dreamer. I think a lot. Some say too much. I believe such types are prone to the blahs on a regular basis. Are you the same?
I reckon it's a possibility. I certainly think too much, try to analyze every fucking thing and worry about everything.. that sort of thing..
oh god it's so depressing..
I've always thought you were a couldn't-care-less, not-giving-a-shit, laid back sort of person. Who'd have thought it?
I'm a bit of that too.. I think.
Who fucking knows..
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