Sometimes I write about subjects. Usually I just write about stuff.
this spell of beautiful, unseasonal weather we've been having, at least today it was a little colder, and a lot greyer than of yore.. yore being the last week or so.. probably 10 days, at least all of October up til now. Oh well.. we had a good run.
omg I'm so behind... having no internet is really screwing me up... you have no idea! Well perhaps you've had to deal with the horror that is no internet yourselves.. so you know.
Well... done stuff.. did that video thing, worked, showed up for work, standing behind a bunch of horses that usually stand in the square but were standing right in front of us instead because of events.. that is a 3rd place game for the World Hockey Championships.. believe me, 3rd place matters when you're playing the Russians.. oh and they won, the Czechs, that is, 3rd place.. beating the Russians.. so that was fun. There was a fight which I missed, but I got to see the line of police, right where we stand, behind us, so my colleague was standing behind a line of horses, in front of a line of cops... no tour there either. I stood in for another college later and well.. after standing there, behind horses, but no cops by this time.. I went home.
Why do I even bother writing.. well that's pretty much the most exciting thing that's happened. Spending too much going to places with wifi just to get online and not getting nearly everything I have to do done, because I must drink beer in those places of course.. oh and.. shit that sucks still will not go away.. internet still not back.. same old same old.
I'm feeling a bit mopey at the moment. I have a case of those things the blahs.. you know when you're feeling down for no particular reason, and when you stop to think about it you wonder why you're feeling like that you can't figure out why but you nevertheless continue to feel that way. I mean, feeling physically not great can contribute.. and I've been feeling.. not sick exactly, but not well, and as if I'm about to get sick, this does not please me.
And well.. there is stuff, practical stuff, personal stuff, crappy stuff that's always there that I try to avoid thinking of which lingers around in the background some of the time and is thrust to the forefront without my consent at times which explain this feeling in themselves but I feel there's something outside of it.. something that's.. blah.
This stuff going on can certainly contribute, and one thing at the moment bothering me, which was triggered by one of the aforementioined crummy things is the realization that I'm me, and I always will be and sometimes, I just can't escape thinking about it.. that certain things about me which I kinda know but haven't focused on so much are so true and so real, and these are things that get in the way of me moving forward, with life, with all this acting stuff.. and although I hate that about myself I don't want to change it, I just don't want to and won't do it, because changing it would involve doing stuff that I really don't want to do... and I really don't want to do it.
And being half an hour in a crowded post office waiting for what I hoped was a long lost package, and instead picking up something huge and bulky that was a return.. doesn't help at all. And now I have to go to class. Why do I never seem to be in the mood for it?
Thought I'd mention to you all (um.. you singular?) that I'm off for another casting today because as the tradition goes I'm supposed to tell everyone so then nothing comes of it. No biggie really. Bit annoying that they have it on a Sunday which is not only a day, particularly today because it's rainy and gloomy and the trams which go to the spot I need to go don't run on weekends but that's about the most interesting thing I have to write.
See, it's not just laziness that keeps me from keeping up the blog. Well anyway, um. That's all.
