2.13.2009

So, like every other day then..

Today is a dark day. A sombre day. It is a heinous, iniquitous, loathsome, maleficent day. It's an evil day, a dangerous day, if you go out today you'll come to great harm, you mark my words. If you go to work today you'll make such a horrendous mistake that you'll be fired. If you talk to any friends, relatives or lovers you will say something that pisses them off and you'll never see them again, and they'll tell everyone what an asshole you are so you can't make new friends. If you go to the store you'll lose your money and it will rain on the way back causing you to slip over, graze your knee and drop your groceries causing the eggs to smash and run all over the rest, ruining itl. If you drive you'll have an accident. If you take the bus it will be horribly crowded and you'll be crammed up against 8 other people, all of them with terrible hygiene, and the bus will swerve causing the lot of them to fall on top of you, causing you to smash your bags and break your eggs all over the rest of your stuff, if they haven't already. If you step outside your house the branch from the tree above the door will break off and fall on top of you. If you stay inside you'll have one of the numerous accidents that occur in the home every year. If you spend the day online you'll accidentally send out pornographic photos of yourself and insulting messages to your friends, relatives, lovers and work colleagues, causing you to lose all of them/your job etc, if you haven't already.

In short, it's troublesome. So be careful, don't do anything and don't go anywhere, or should I say, don't be anywhere. Why? Well, it's Friday and it's the 13th. It just is.

I wanted to get into the history of the origins of the Friday the 13th superstition, but I haven't been able to find any that's conclusive. It might have something to do with the Templars though. I reckon it's probably them, those cats were spooky.

2 comments:

Ric said...

Worse yet, Friday the 13th will be on a Friday next month too!!

If anyone needs me, I'll be under my bed with some canned goods and a big bag of chips.

Michelle said...

Yikes, you're right.. 28 days, 4 weeks exactly.. bloody hell! Why can't we have a Feb F13 on a leap year! Now I'm going to have to go through it all in just under a month's time, and I've got nothing left to write about it!