Something to ponder..

I've been looking through my stats recently, and it seems that people looking for Meisner Technique related content seem to find the blog regularly. Specifically people looking for difficult activities for it. If you don't know what this means, which you probably don't unless you're one of the people looking up Meisner technique activities, and actually stuck around to look at the front page (or in fact that this is the page your search leads to, which is likely seeing as I'm using those words repeatedly in it) well I'm not going to explain it here, it's just something that one uses while doing the Meisner technique.

Now.. the problem is, my posts don't have any help for people who want help with finding said difficult activities, just me going on about my classes. I thought I should get back into doing it, for the purpose of being more service to those people.. and well, getting back into the acting thing which I haven't been doing at all for like.. years.

But, of course, one of the major reasons I quit going, apart from being a lazy fat ass, is that I could never think of activities that were worth a shit, neither difficult or meaningful or any of the other criteria that you need for them.. so there'd just be more of me grumbling that I can't think of an activity. So not much help there then.

I'm afraid I'm not a lot of use to the people who come here for interesting knowledge about cats either.. although that's something I can study.. and maybe offer to readers, one day.

I'd like to be of use to someone somewhere :)

Drowning em in a vat...

I went to the all new Meisner Technique classes the other night.. similar-ish to those I did a few years ago, but not the same. Well.. it's a little bit hard to tell at this point.. I'm way back at the beginning in baby step phase.. although this class skips over some of the very first steps.. of which there are many.

Anyway.. all I did was some of the simplest stuff, the stuff I don't remember being all that hard.. I mean it was, yeah, but the stuff that came after is what I think of when I remember the anguish I used to go through in relation to the class... so I thought it would be relatively easy.

Well.. not really. Although I've done this before.. and this particular bit, simple repetition.. quite a lot.. I haven't done it for some time.. and really, was never any good at all at any of the very kernel of Meisner Technique stuff which is.. you know what I don't fucking know. Generally being honest, being open, being vibrant, alive, letting your emotions out. Stuff that I'm not, not in this context anyway.

I mean it's hard, it's really really hard. It's stuff that's totally unnatural for the average person to do without a lot of practice though it seem simple to the point of child stuff... and the new people in the class were struggling quite a lot too.. but, I thought I'd maybe get just a tiny bit more.. not a lot, but a bit more seeing as I studied this thing for a fucking year already.. but no. No more than the average total beginner.. and really.. less than most it seems.

Not less than all.. some of the people have a problem of overthinking this "let it all go and show your true emotions" technique... everyone does but some more than others.. I do more than others I think, and the teacher always makes a point of telling some of the guys (always guys) that some people are just really intelligent people.. thinkers.. and that's why they have so much trouble with it. Not the worst thing in the world someone can accuse you of.. if you have to be criticized for not doing something properly.

That's not what he said to me.. na.. I'm just repressed.. boring.. afraid.. stuff like that. Not necessarily in so many words, but the overall gist is that I'm pretty limited in my natural ability to do this stuff and by extension acting in general and have nice long list of negative but not at all interesting personality flaws to think about.

Other than that it went great. A lot of interesting people who I've never met before are in the class and at least half of them will stick with it for the next couple of weeks, it puts me back in the scene.. sorta, and I might actually get better doing this.. ya know.. learn something.

Well anyway it's harvest time. Vinobrani this weekend... which to be honest, interests me ore than anything else at the moment. *burps*

Mary will be getting a little lamb about 6 months from now...

I'm on my 4th week of studying the Meisner Technique now, and I'm getting closer and closer to being a master of living truthfully under imaginary circumstances... which is what this technique teaches. I say I'm getting closer, but I'm getting closer very slowly. I know I've only been doing this for almost a month, but compared to other drama training I've done, this is a bit, shall I say... tedious?

If in acting, your body is your instrument.. then what you usually do in acting is learn the basic notes, start playing very simple tunes, then learn chords and more complex tunes, and then onto the stuff that only musicians really know about. In the Meisner Technique, you start by learning a note.. you practice and practice and practice that note. Then you learn another note, you practice it, then you combine it with the first note and practice that over and over again. You then learn another note.....

.....

..about 3 weeks later you learn a chord, and you put it together with the notes you've learnt to make some kind of melodic sound, and you practice and practice and practice it. I don't know when you get to the point where you start playing actual tunes, as no one in my group has gotten to that level yet.

What we do is a lot of repeating. We start by standing with a person observing things about them and commenting on it. Then we stand with a person and tell them something about themselves and repeat what they say, they repeat it back and keep going on until the instructor says stop. Then you tell the person something about themselves, they repeat it from their point of view and you repeat it from yours again until something changes and you comment on that. And you do it again and again. I've been doing this for 3 weeks. Last night I moved up a little, and entered the scene of the more advanced students and threw them off what they were doing, and commenting on their behaviour so they can repeat it back to me and on and on and on...

So it's going, but slowly. I might be starting on activities next week, depending on what happens in tomorrow's class. It's all very exciting.

Overheard in Prague..

Last night.

You're like a wee puppet on a string without a master to pull the
strings.

I didn't exactly overhear it. This was in last night's class. The funny thing about it is that we're not supposed to have conversations while we're doing these exercises. The Meisner Technique is all about stripping away all the faking it and using language to cover up what we're really feeling, which is why the total of our communication is (or should be if we're doing it properly) calling out our partner's behaviour, as in "you're distressed" and they repeat it back to you and show how they're feeling by the way they say it, like a question if they don't agree, or angrily if they feel offended etc. Either that or they mention something about you like "you're concerned", and it goes on.

What you're not supposed to do it explain yourself, try to be witty or make strange poetic statements with quaint Irish colloquialisms. Which is what this guy did. It was entertaining though. Last night most of us were kind of spaced out and the class was kind of slow going which we blame the heat for, but it was nice to finish up with something that made us all laugh.

And though studying the Meisner Technique might be great for refining one's craft, it's not that often that you get memorable quotes out it.

Woo hoo.. I'm in the club!

I am now officially a fully fledged beginner in Meisner Technique studies. I'm now up to doing activities and doors, so I'm up to the stage that everyone else seemed to be when I started the class. Well sort of, I still don't need to have a strong reason for either, though yesterday after doing my door I was asked to think more about the reason next time. So I need a semi-important reason for my door and a not really important reason for my activity.

Just so you know, a "door" in Meisner language is when you come to your partner's door, wanting something from them. Your partner in the exercise should be doing an activity, something that is very important to them. The thing that you come for should be something that's very important to you, and the two of you interact with each other, reacting and repeating.

Yesterday I did a door, it was my second one and it went pretty well. I did one on Monday which I wasn't pleased with at all. I knocked on the door, the guy let me in and acted like he didn't want me there, I hung around a bit being aimless and there was nothing going on. I was told by the teacher I should have left if I felt like it. I've felt like leaving the room in these exercises almost every time I've done one, I've done a lot of hovers, which is when you just show up in the person's space without reason, and the doors, and every time the person has acted like they didn't want me there. If I took that advice I would really have done hardly anything in class. The only time I did an activity it was going nowhere too and I felt like I was unwelcome even though it was supposed to be my place.

Why is no one ever pleased to see me!!!??

Last night it went a bit better, from a Meisner point of view. I came for a lightbulb. The guy wasn't particularly fussed either way for me to be in his place. He was amiable enough but our interaction was going nowhere. I actually left though, because I was asked too, but he really only asked me to leave because the teacher pretty much told him too. Afterwards he kept going on how clueless and aimless I was in the scene, which wasn't particularly flattering but that wasn't the point. I did what I was supposed to do reasonably well, for a beginner anyway.

So, something actually went well for once, even though it's obvious I have serious character flaws and I'm utterly horrible to be around. I can't fake it because Meisner is about reality and you're not supposed to "act" when you're doing it, you have to be true to how you're feeling. Looks like I'm stuck with being kicked out of everyone's place then.

Not the best way to get your ironing done..

I'm moving up a step with my Meisner studies. I've been hovering for the past few days, and on Wednesday night I get to finally do an activity. I've been watching so many from the others in the class that I'm hyped up and ready to go myself. But first I have to think of one.

An activity, in the Meisner Technique is something you do while interacting with another person who comes to your space, either to hover, which I have been doing for the past few lessons, or come to your door with a specific purpose in mind, called a "door". Your activity is real, you have to bring props and actually do the thing, not just mime it or anything like that.

An activity needs to have 3 elements.

1. It has to be difficult. It has to be something that you have to concentrate on, like assembling a model, or fixing something that's broken. You have to do it for real, and not just fake it.

2. It has to have a time limit. You need to have a specific time that this thing needs to be finished. It can't be just something gotta get done some time, but that must be completed in 20 minutes, or an hour or whatever time you choose.

3. It has to have meaning. It has to be something important to you, that must be done or you will suffer consequences, like losing your job, or your place in university, your partner etc. If you finish it successfully in time, the consequeces are good, you get the job, the person you love falls in love with you etc.

So, for an example your activity can be that you need to finish sewing a dress in 20 minutes because you want to wear it to your grandmother's funeral, (which is today and considering the time to get there etc you need to be done by then) and if you don't wear that dress your whole family will disown you. Something like that.

Because this is my first one so I don't have to have to worry about #3. So I only have to sew a dress in 20 minutes because I want to wear the dress, not for anything particularly important.

Another element which wasn't addressed but can be added is #4, it has to be safe. Nothing that can damage anything in the workspace, or hurt yourself or another class member. As the exercises can get emotional and heated, if they're done right, this is good advice. Definitely no irons. They were popular when I started the class until one guy ironed something on a glass table and cracked it. No one is bringing them anymore, I'll have to think of something else.

But I can't sew, and don't have the materials for making a dress so I'm going to have to come up with another idea. I still haven't got the slightest clue what I'm going to do.

I'm not such an awful person to be around then...

I'm just boring.

Another class last night. It was quite an entertaining one, some funny stuff there. You're not supposed to aim to entertain in these classes but some of our class member's characteristic wit and star qualities shone through regardless.

Mine was boring. It went reasonably well, but it just plodded along. None of the exercises I've done have been amongst the more interesting in the class. I was having a tendency to (quite unfairly) blame it on the person I was acting with, the way they reacted didn't allow me to bring the scene to a greater height. That's what I was telling myself, but after a while it gets old. Yesterday my scene was with someone who's known for having funny scenes so I couldn't blame him. The problem is obviously me, even the people who are really interesting the rest of the time are boring when they're with me.

Fucking boring. Fuck! That's just... fucked! Fuck it! I'd rather just do everything wrong, and made an idiot of myself. Anything but be boring!

Well that's not actually true. I want to be the best at the Meisner Technique and at acting in general, come across as frightfully clever, devilishly sexy and be very interesting.

And fucking funny!

Dammit, how does one who is possessed of such a superior wit to that of the average attention seeker become such an insufferable bore in the presence of a real live audience?

Don't answer that.

I can't keep doing this..

I have another class tonight in the Meisner Technique. I still need to think of an activity. So far I haven't got a single idea. Well I have a single idea but I don't want to use it for several reasons including it not being any good.

I'll probably think of something by this evening which will be really lame and it won't go well at all. The teacher will drill me afterwards and tell me everything that was wrong with it.. which I can handle except that it's all shit that I know, I know I know!!! I know that it's not specific enough. I know that it's not important enough I know my time limit wasn't believable I know that I didn't answer all the questions on what would happen if I didn't do it, and I know I didn't fucking believe it because it's fucking made up alright!!!

I mean, fuck! There simply isn't anything that I have the materials for that is difficult for me personally, which I can plausibly convince myself that it has to be done within a certain time limit in order to obtain some desirable outcome, without which I would suffer great consequences.

I just doesn't fucking exist! It doesn't matter how much I try to come up with something, how much I stretch possibilities, outright make shit up about my life my activities are always going to suck.

And that's not even getting into the fact that I never believe it. It's always just me, sitting in class waiting for someone to knock on the door, knowing that there isn't anyone coming over to get the rent in 20 minutes, or anyone who needs to be emailed immediately, or my mother showing up any minute.. it's all fucking made up!

I don't know why I bother.

Which sucks more...

I finally did an activity. I'm not going to explain that, if you want to know what I'm talking about read my previous posts.

It was awful. My activity was to paint my nails 3 different colours. It's difficult enough, I had a time limit and didn't need a great meaning so I thought I chose pretty well. Then I went up to do my exercise with Jana. Jana speaks English much better than she thinks but never wants to work in English because she just doesn't want to bother. I started by doing my nails, bla bla bla, then went to answer the door when she knocked, told her what her behaviour was in English and she stared at me like she didn't understand, so I repeated it in Czech. Well, not so much repeated as I garbled out something in bad Czech that was kind of close to the meaning.

She came in and we did the exercise in half English, half Czech. Overall it was terrible, I didn't do what I was supposed to do at all, the only thing I can't decide if I was worse at calling behaviour, reacting and repeating, which is what you do in the exercise, or at speaking Czech. I also know which one bothers me more.

After the exercise, Brian the teacher really only said that I'd picked a good activity which worked well. I don't know if he didn't say anything more than that because the whole thing was as writeoff because I'd stumbled over the language too much to do anything else, or if it just wasn't that bad. I go for the first option.

The only good thing is that I can blame both my bad Czech and my bad "acting" on each other. My Czech sounded worse than it actually is because I was nervous about doing this thing, the "acting" was so bad because I was doing it half in a language that I'm not so comfortable with. Or I just suck at both. This is definitely possible.

I call it "acting" because in these exercises we're supposed to be reacting for real, rather than faking it, so actually if you're acting you're doing it wrong, but I use the word just for purposes of the flow of the sentence sort of thing. I know most of this makes no sense to you (all of you I'm guessing) who really don't know what goes on in Meisner Technique studies, but I'm having a rant so just have to deal with it.

Working for the weekend..

Life is hard when you're a dedicated thespian. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday this past weekend. I'm worn out.

Saturday I had a rehearsal for the upcoming film I'm starring in. I played one woman's rational part. I am supposed to be all logic all the time, because two other women play the other aspects of her, the emotion and the morality. It's kind of a make it up as you go along deal, the director has the basic plot of the movie, about a couple where the woman is played by the different part of her, and we improvised the rest. We were supposed to rehearse this past Saturday and film next Saturday, but we only managed to finish one scene so far. By finish I mean come up with what's in the scene, not necessarily be ready to film it.

Of course now I'm (partially) trained in the Meisner Technique I had to argue with the director and the other actors about how we should all be playing our characters. I felt it was my duty to my art.

Yesterday I went to a meeting about the upcoming playreading I'm doing. I'm exaggerating a bit calling it work, I know. It was brief, the woman running it gave us a rundown of what's happening and gave us our scripts. I will be doing two, one on Thursday and one on Friday. I read the scripts last night and I'm not sure what to think. I'm a bit confused as to who I'm playing in the first one, there are so many characters who come and go, and only 2 described, I'm supposed to be playing "video woman" and there are characters called "woman" and "woman's voice" in parts who I think might be my role, but I'm not certain. I'm sure I'll find out. My character in the second play appears to be a child, not sure what age but it's a bit of a stretch all the same. Most of the people in the playreadings appear to be professional actors here for the Fringe Festival. The roles I have are minor ones, so I'm not terribly worried about it, though I may be later in the week.

Total sausage party dude

Last night I finally went to this acting class thingy I've been meaning to for about a month, but have been putting off for reasons ranging from being hungover, being depressed, held up or having a huge zit on my chin which my vanity wouldn't allow to be seen amongst theatre types. Last night I had none of these excuses, well the laziness was present, but not strong enough in the face of my determination to finally go to this thing.

The class was taught by some Australian dude, in the Meisner Technique, which is all about truth, and keeping it real, and it's something I wasn't familiar with. It was all men, except for myself, there are other women in the class but none of them showed up last night, so I was like a lonely little petunia in an onion patch in a way, except I'm not a petunia, the class wasn't held in an onion patch and I wasn't actually lonely, seeing as I was in a room full of people.

I watched some of the others do their exercises, at the end me and the other new person did a beginner's exercise together. It was kinda interesting, actually the most exciting event of the year for me so far, but that isn't saying a lot. The group seems relatively organized*, and want to put on production and do films and all that jazz, so this might blossom into something more for me. And if it doesn't I have a few other leads. And if they don't turn out to be anything then I'm sure something else will come up. And if nothing else does, well, who cares.

*For Prague that is. Or rather, the expat community with which I'm familiar.

Between takes

Day one done for my latest film, more to do tomorrow. It was an interesting day, though I realized that this movie acting stuff is kinda hard, I mean, I've done plenty of these small films before, but maybe it's been a while.. or I was paying more attention today. Or I just had a role that had a little depth in it for once.

I am the only character in the film, really. No speaking, just looking. That's the hard part, especially if you want to be any good, which I kinda do. I was all (sorta half) prepared, with a background to my character, and had planned to delve into my inner emotions and do it the Meisner way, where you really feel what it is you're supposed to be portraying, but as soon as I got in when there were some slight changes that threw my interpretation out, I felt myself having to concentrate on being in exact position to film.. and well I haven't been to class for a long time and I'm a bit rusty on the technique which, to be honest the best you could have described my proficiency at the height of my study is "ordinary". Well.. that and I really only ever got to mid-beginner level, if one was to describe it.

In short.. I can't do it. I tried and it didn't happen. So I pretended. I screwed my face up in the way that I would expect someone who's scared or determined or shocked or anxious or any combination of those together would do. I was getting very specific instructions on what I was was supposed to feel, on top of needing to walk to where the x was.. and I don't think that I could have done it the Meisner way if I had been considerably better at it, for it is a no no to deliberately play and emotion, you're just supposed to let it come out as it does. Sort of. I even got instructions on how to screw up my mouth in one bit that was for a closeup.. so I'm unsure how one could reconcile acting via the aforementioned technique while pleasing the director, in this case. Maybe a genius could do it.

Anyway.. I think by the standards of amateur film I did ok. I guess I kinda sorta in a very superficial way "felt it" when I had to be scared or something.. if only moving my body in a way so I had the physical reactions you would, but I don't think that counts.

There's more to film tomorrow. Hopefully I'll do at least just as well as I did today.