Between takes

Day one done for my latest film, more to do tomorrow. It was an interesting day, though I realized that this movie acting stuff is kinda hard, I mean, I've done plenty of these small films before, but maybe it's been a while.. or I was paying more attention today. Or I just had a role that had a little depth in it for once.

I am the only character in the film, really. No speaking, just looking. That's the hard part, especially if you want to be any good, which I kinda do. I was all (sorta half) prepared, with a background to my character, and had planned to delve into my inner emotions and do it the Meisner way, where you really feel what it is you're supposed to be portraying, but as soon as I got in when there were some slight changes that threw my interpretation out, I felt myself having to concentrate on being in exact position to film.. and well I haven't been to class for a long time and I'm a bit rusty on the technique which, to be honest the best you could have described my proficiency at the height of my study is "ordinary". Well.. that and I really only ever got to mid-beginner level, if one was to describe it.

In short.. I can't do it. I tried and it didn't happen. So I pretended. I screwed my face up in the way that I would expect someone who's scared or determined or shocked or anxious or any combination of those together would do. I was getting very specific instructions on what I was was supposed to feel, on top of needing to walk to where the x was.. and I don't think that I could have done it the Meisner way if I had been considerably better at it, for it is a no no to deliberately play and emotion, you're just supposed to let it come out as it does. Sort of. I even got instructions on how to screw up my mouth in one bit that was for a closeup.. so I'm unsure how one could reconcile acting via the aforementioned technique while pleasing the director, in this case. Maybe a genius could do it.

Anyway.. I think by the standards of amateur film I did ok. I guess I kinda sorta in a very superficial way "felt it" when I had to be scared or something.. if only moving my body in a way so I had the physical reactions you would, but I don't think that counts.

There's more to film tomorrow. Hopefully I'll do at least just as well as I did today.