Haven't done this for a while..

But, it's the end of year, Jesus is having a birthday, so I thought I'd resurrect it.

It's Wednesday. Time to pick a random verse from the Bible, present it without context, and give it 3 different translations, none of which have any resemblance to the original meaning. Here it is.

1 Corinth 3:8... "Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour."

a) Now that the tree has turned into a man, the man must go forth and toil, for hard work, and good behaviour, and eating 3 balanced meals a day will make you healthy, wealthy and wise.

b) Here in God's kingdom we believe in fairness. We're firm, to be sure, but we don't discriminate, everyone is equally assessed according to their actions during their lifetimes. So, for example if you led your life being an open minded, charitable individual who let people live their lives their own way as long as they weren't hurting anyone, who helped out those less fortunate, or even adopted a child who had nobody else and brought them up as your own, with your co-habiting partner you're obviously going to burn in hell you stinking faggot. If on the other side, you worked hard, made money (quite cleverly using the labour of those in 3rd world countries) voted for the right party, supported all the right wars, and instead of letting people free to go on their sinful ways preached, and supported laws against, and even violently assaulted those who sin against god, then you're not only getting into Heaven, you've reserved yourself a mansion in our most exclusive district.

c) God created everything. Even the trees and even the people. The trees and the people are not the same thing however, so don't get them confused. I know sometimes a guy just standing there in the garden not moving, who has a bit of a green complexion can look kind of plantish, but don't water him. It won't do him any good and may aggravate him.

I've been away for a while. How did I do?