1.20.2006

Still too long

I have 12 days left in this place.

I really don't want to be here tonight. It's Friday, I hardly ever had to stay here Friday nights, excuse me while I go and weep for a couple of minutes,

I'm back. Well, just under 2 weeks until I get to move out of here. That doesn't help me much tonight. William is out, and well on his way to getting drunk, by the time he returns he will be completely shitfaced. Now I'm perfectly happy for him to not be here for most of the night, but it's hard to enjoy when I have to worry about the return. It will probably be early in the morning, he'll want to play music or something. At best he'll come in, sit down and have a cigarette for about half an hour, potter around in the kitchen for half an hour, stumble around for a bit, and then somehow make it to bed and snore very loudly, then after an hour get up, get in the shower and make weird noises and singing, and then go back to bed. In any case I won't be able to sleep.

And all I want to do is sleep. I hate the nights. The days are tolerable but the nights, I just want to sleep, but I can't so much of the time. And when I can't sleep , I have too much time to think, and get depressed. I wonder, what happened, what will happen, whether, oh shit what's the point, this is never going to get any better.

I hate my life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Things will get better sooner than you think. That's my bet anyway. I'm sure I'm right.

The Weasely Snake