The depths of despair

Well, it's official. He's broken up with me. He finally wrote me an email, after a week of ignoring my calls, emails and messages. At least I think it's been a week. I don't know when, or why he decided it was definately over, he hasn't told me that. The email was mostly full of scolding because of the way I conducted myself. He said my behaviour was inexcusable, and that I had encroached on his privacy. Yes, I did go over the top, and it would have been going way too far in any other situation but I had to know what was happening. He doesn't realise what he did. He broke up with me without fucking telling me. He made major changes to my life without filling me in on it.

I thought the email was totally unfair. He called me callous, which so innapropriate I can't even begin to think what the hell was going on in his mind. He's a fucking English teacher, and one with a high opinion of himself and he doesn't even know the meaning of the word. My actions were those of a desperate, frantic woman, who's in love and desperate to know what's going on. How that equates with being cold, heartless and emotionless I don't understand. And inconsiderate? Because I didn't respect his privacy, his need to keep everything to himself and avoid the responsibilty of anyting, to selfishly demand to know whether I still have a boyfriend or not? I couldn't go on with the uncertainty, I don't know who could. Why doesn't he understand that? Why can't he see that he's the inconsiderate one, that his actions are inexcusable and anything I did in reply pales in comparison? That he's mean, callous, cold, uncaring and heartless to do something like that to me? It's so unfair I want to scream.

And I love him. So much that I'd forgive him for all the shit he's pulled, but I'm not going to get the chance, he can't stand me at all.