Please August...

Can we have summer back? At least for a little bit?

Thanks...

Just when I thought we were actually going to get summer...

Once coming back to Prague it was hot for a while.. a bit too hot some days and to be sure I whined about that. Then it started raining... the end.

Well.. it's a little more nuanced than that, for about 2 weeks we've had this back and forth weather where it often rains some time during the day, and quite typically out of nowehere when the day's been quite nice.. so, unexpected for the most part, but it's been unusually mild.. even cold seeming at times. And raining more often than I'd like. Right now it's raining in that "I don't intend to stop anytime soon and you can stuff it" way.. which is particularly pleasing as it's my first weekend day off in ages.. and we're going out of the city today.. but whatev, what can you do.

From back when..

Another shot from the (now not so) recent trip..



Berlin, on the summer solstice.

Some things I don't like.

Yes, there are things I don't like, my unusually happy sunny self actually on occasion grumbles about things.. vocally.. and even writes abou them!

kay.. so enough sarcasm. There are "literally" millions of things I don't like and despite the frequency of complaining on this blog I've only ever pointed out a small fraction of them, but today I'm going to focus on a few, that have been bothering me at the moment.

*People coming up to me as soon as I get to the Orloj, that is our "meeting point" for work. Some people may know I'm a tour guide, and well we need to get to the spot 20 minutes before to wait, greet people for the tour and try to entice more to join.. well, lately I've barely had time to put my umbrella up and sort out the coordination between umbrella, lantern and brochures I'm supposed to hold before someone pounces on me with tickets for the tour. It's annoying.

*Having to hold an open umbrella, lit lantern and hold brochures with 2 hands for 20 minutes at the meeting point before every tour. I actually don't need the lantern for every single tour, but it's still annoying to have to do all the rest.

*When people show up immediately upon my arriving at the meeting point, demanding my attention and then more people come, and people keep coming and coming... and it looks like I'm going to have this huge group that I'm going to have to shout to.. it really only bothers me at the time because either the group stops at a reasonable point, and when it's a large number it always turns out to be ok, but this still bothers me.

*When someone shows up at the last second wanting to go on a tour so I need to hold it all up to deal with their stuff, after standing there doing nothing for the last 10 minutes.

*Needing to get to the meeting point 20 minutes before a tour, and stand there while people show up. Yeah... I really dislike this part.. how could you tell?

Yeah that's it. For now.

*Waiting at the "meeting point" for work. We need to get there, at the Orloj, 20 minutes before the tour,

Blank

I'm feeling a bit blank at the mo, regarding.. I dunno, it's kind of blank. Not just what to write here, or what to write, create in general but.. I feel as though there's something that I can't put my finger on. In more ways than one.. ideas for stories, stuff I should be doing. You know.. like.. stuff.

Maybe I'm just imagining there's something where there isn't and that would explain why I can't access it, but then again.. maybe I'm missing something.

I'm not sure which I prefer.

Progress!

I did it! I did the stuff.. well one of the things I planned to do today.. you know those things that should have been done a month or longer ago? Well I planned to do some today, and did one, and possibly even 2 of them.

I should feel satisfied about that because it might be a while before I get to feel this about anything again.

I also have the night off.. I like that even better.

Pretty much out of excuses..

I think.

So.. been a big year, new job, move, trip.. yeah, lots o stuff. It's always something, a reason not to get off my ass and get out there all pushy with agents and theatre companies and all that.. do more of my own thing, re film making, get this house looking like something grownups would live in.

Well.. we only moved in May, and it's a lot of work to move, as you may understand. and I had this new job, and all this training.. then we went to Canada, which took a lot of money and planning..

and then we came back and.. er.. I had this film, and more work and..

well.. I mean. Yeah I'm bored and life is meaningless and I have little to do except for go to work some evenings and there probably won't be another film very soon (especially if I don't get out there and promote) and we won't be going anywhere for a long time so...

I should do stuff.. I spose.

*tries desperately to think of another reason not to go through the effort of getting stuff in order*

Get back to you on that one.

Me in London..

One month ago.

One of them wrap things..

So, last day of filming of my latest foray in the cinema world.. 'nother student film.. yes. This one was fun, gotta say.. like being the actual star for once, it's about bloody time I reckon. So.. today was one more scene.. getting a bit messed up and then some voice overs where I had to do some sexy talk and go on about how hot I am during which I felt very silly and more uncomfortable than I should be, being a professional and all.. well.. aspiring to be somewhat professional at this stuff.. o well.. need to do more stuff.. then I can be more comfortable with it all.. I think.

So, filming's done for this one, should see this one relatively soon, I hope. And now it's back to the regular boring life of me.. some tours, some going out and doing stuff.. staring out at the rain, dealing with annoying and annoyed semi ex biz partners but that's another story and one I don't want to get into and.. well.. we'll see.

Lights, camera...

etc etc etc.

Been shooting this latest film for the last two days and well.. I really need to be doing this like.. all the time, literally, all the time, it's just been fucking awesome.

Well.. except for the being presented as old and unattractive and being told in a non direct and ok a very roundabout way that I'm old and unattractive and being made to feel like I'm old and unattractive for some reason.. can't figure that out, in the company of not one, but 2 people who I work with..

and having to repeatedly drink sometimes with a huge gulp this "wine" that is, fake red wine, first some very slightly diluted syrup and then cranberry juice which was considerably better but the damage had been done so it made me slightly.. er... woozy.

And having to puke on someone, well, not actually puke, fake puke but that was probably the most fun bit so I'll add it to the list of pros... now that I think about it.

But it was awesome. It was fun, despite much wooziness, and having to wait around for some tedious bits, and it's just great to be FUCKING DOING IT already.. again, for once. After too long.. too fucking long.

A bit more shooting left tomorrow.. and then it's all over until next time.

I know I keep banging on about this..

perhaps not here but in general.. but now I see I'm being cast opposite someone I know from work for this role.. the one where I play the aging unattractive woman meeting some super hot guy.. and well.. for fucks sake.. it's only a tiny step down from being the boring wife who has half a page dedicated to describing how unbelievably average she is, and then getting cast opposite someone who's 60....

still..

*feels somewhat uncomfortable and stuff*

Can you believe it, our toilet door just locked itself from the inside. Well.. it did last night, and it's still locked despite the fiddling around and even some professional work from a few people.

Of all fucking things to fuck us up at this point, who'd think it would be the door from hell. It's a bit uncomfortable as you can imagine.. I mean.. we can pee in the shower.. like.. yeah.. a bit undignified but you gotta do what you gotta do.. but, it's not exactly ideal...

now we have to wait for the landlord to get home from Croatia so we can decide whether we can break the door or not.

A brief break from my time wasting existence..

Actually got cast in a movie.. woo hoo! About time.. been ages since I was cast as a boring unattractive woman who's husband wants to murder her... last year, on the coldest day in December.. *sighs*

now.. I'll be playing a boring unattractive woman who goes out with a super hot guy...

I may have mentioned something along the lines of this before. Well.. I'm quite happy to be back in the game.. so to speak, and feel like my life is meaningful and has purpose and that I'm going somewhere.. even if the feeling only lasts a few days.

It's the little things..

the seemingly insignificant stuff, the minor points... that really piss me off. And the stuff that seems to matter to others.. like, some pissing about with lanterns, that isn't really my fault but I still get blamed for being useless.. I do a shit hot tour, and the people love it but.. she doesn't know that, she just sees me not able to light it, because it was fucked up, and then almost leave it behind. And then some assholes complain about the tour... because some idiots at the hotels that are selling it misrepresent it.. yeah they name me, saying I was "unconvincing" whatever that means, but the other people on that particular one thought I was brilliant, so obvs they're just saying that because they want to complain.. but, still looks like I fucked up, another black mark against my name even though, yet again, I fucking rocked the bit that really matters...

there are other little things.. like the only roles I get offered are ones that make a huge point of spelling out how unattractive this character is.. I mean, fine, you don't have to rave about her beauty, or even describe how she looks.. just call her, woman of certain age range, who this story happens to.. no, it's gotta be "she's average at best".. and let it be known that this woman is nothing special.. it's like the director has to apologize to the world for letting someone like her, ie me, onto a film... lest they feel cheated at being made to see over 30 not super hot woman or something..

some things are ok, in fact things are fine at the mo.. despite the whole comedown of being away for a while.. but like I said.. little things...

bout time I put up a pic..

from this trip thing..

Vancouver.

Kay so I'm home.

It was a long trip. Long flight to London, not a fun landing. Through all the security bullshit, though we were just transferring. Long wait, well it always seems to take so long, at London. A not so long flight to Berlin, but still. A not fun wait in a long line for goodness knows what in Berlin which turned out to be the passport control which was quite fast.. then the wait for baggage which shouldn't have been long or a wait at all as they were already there, I just couldn't get them because of the crowd of people camped out in front of the conveyor belt including a small child who's mother bothered to call her away from there right after we got out bags. Thanks.

Then the cramming onto the airport bus, being unceremoniously told to move back so we got separated.. s-bahn and walk to our boat. Oh we stayed on a boat, it was quite nice. So after this long, hot and annoying day, we rest a bit, freshen up, go outside and it's raining.

We had to walk because we had to eat, and we needed to change money too. It was late so there was nowhere to exchange. It would have been a nice walk though, if it hadn't been raining, and we weren't so hungry, but it was raining, and we were really hungry.

Finally withdrew some cash, got a falafel and went back. Finally unwound on the bar at the hostel.. on the boat with beer and some cheesy music.

Went back on the train the next day, which was yesterday. That was ok, spose. Now I'm home, and just back from work. I'd quite like another holiday actually.

Well.. it seems I'm almost going home.

I've been here forever, "literally" forever. That is, about 10 days... anyway I'm off tomorrow evening.. to fly to London to fly to Berlin and hang out there for an eve and then go home.. and back to work, and other things that are a clusterfuck of fuckedupness that I need to sort out which I don't want to think about but for today, I'm still in Vancouver.

So.. been to a wedding, a bunch more brunches and lunches and dinners and barbecues, some were fun, some were meh, met a whole fuckload of new people.. at least I think I did because I vaguely remember these people things, anyway I don't remember most of them.

Went to the beach, actually dipped into the water though it was really cold and... some other stuff, wandered around the city, a few bars. Hung around this house a lot. Seems like I've been here forever.. it will be so strange to leave.

Took a lot of photos too.