Substance.

No, not a fitting title for this post, as it has none. Not much anyway, it's more about the subject of substance.. I suppose that is a fitting title then. I used to dream about having a blog that was about stuff.. you know, things going on in the world, ideas, interesting stories that illustrate a wider subject, something universal, something important.

I think I had a sorta half assed version of that once.. it's been about 4 years or more since I've been writing about nothing but what's going on, or what's not going on with me, or the occasional pondering of why I have nothing to write about and isn't it crap.. ie, you're reading it.

I suppose it shouldn't matter.. one can blog about whatever one wishes to blog about, and if people wish to read, they can.. I just wish.. I dunno.. I did it a bit better.. and stuff.

Looks like I'm all alone again.

Just as we move into the particularly dark gloomy days when we all need at least the merest hint that someone, somewhere out there is listening, and cares.

Oh well whatever.. we're all alone in the end, they say. Some of them anyway, or at least one of them. It might be bullshit because they (and quite possibly that particular one) talk a lot of bullshit, but then again.

I'll keep writing and posting dorky photos away though, at least for a while. If for no one but myself.

*slides back into shell*

It's so hard being me, #44 or somethingl like that..

I feel really poorly today. Somewhat reasonable right now with just a lingering headache, but I've had bouts of what I like to call "crumminess" all day.. and it's a Saturday and it's quite nice outside so I ideally would have liked to do stuff today. You know, stuff.. going outside, going places... doing stuff.

But I feel crummy. Too fucking crummy to do any stuff that's worth doing. And yes, anyone who follows this blog closely will know that I was, yes, drinking last night and bragging about it. Now, there are times when I joke about drinking all the time and being a big boozer and all and to be perfectly honest it is the slightest bit exaggerated, and I do make jokes about drinking and burping and whatever when I'm not even indulging in real life.. sometimes.. not so much here but I do do it. That's so weird written down.. two words in a row like that... and it sounds perfectly right when you say it.. oh well.

Anyway. Yesterday evening I was drinking. But here's the thing, it really wasn't all that much. Now of course this is a relative thing, too much and compared to some people in some places with some lifestyles it would certainly have been that much.. and for some others.. not too many really not even amongst my acquaintance it would barely have been a lunchtime.. but for me, it was not all that much. In any case, it wasn't enough to be feeling full on crummy the next day, most of the day at least. It deserved a headache maybe, one that goes away by the late-ish afternoon.. but crummy? Just no.

So like I said, it's hard being me and it's just not fair.

Sometimes I reckon it would be cool...

to have one of those blogs that get tons and tons of comments.. even on really short posts that don't really say anything. Know what I mean?

Help me out here folks..

You (singular) might recall a few weeks ago I wrote about my ambition to finally get off my buttocks and do some of the film stuff I've been talking about doing.. from the simplest example of filming just for practice to a fully blown short crappy film.

Well. I haven't done a thing. Not just, haven't put a film up, I haven't made either a real film or just a practice example of what the cam can do. Neither have I even brought the bloody camera out of wherever I put it last. I also haven't thought about what or where I'm going to film just for practice. I haven't rehearsed the script for my film nor have I written it. I haven't written down the basic synopsis either.

I have however, got a sort of idea for a film, which I've thought about a couple of times over the last couple of weeks and thought I sorta should do at least some of those things. I haven't though.

If I recall, the point of putting it out there that I was going to go ahead and do it, was to raise the curiosity of readers and get them to remind me constantly that I was talking about doing this, push me to do it, whine at me that they haven't seen anything yet, tell other people to constantly pester me about getting up and doing this stuff already... but nothing. Not a sausage!

So I blame you readers, for my failure to produce anything as of yet. It's all our fault.

Well that was fun.

You remember how I was writing about stuff for a few days, and in fact didn't write for a day or 2 because I was too busy (or too ill due to the previous day's activity) to write? And when I wrote I had to cram in tons because so much had gone on? And then I wrote again about actually doing something else rather than just rambling on about blogging about nothing? In short.. how stuff actually was happening a bit for once?

Well not anymore.

Oh well.

Ok, the situation is.

I'm online. Sorta.

So I'll be writing for the moment (however long that moment is.. 3 to ? days) if I have anything to write about.

I don't have anything to write about, so that's why I'm not writing now.

Yes.. I'm still here.

I'm here just been.. busy. Well, in a way. I was totally gonna write yesterday. It was in the plan, after walk up the hill, get online, do the other stuff I need to do online, before some other stuff I needed to do but I totally zoned it out and for that I profusely and humbly apologize, etc etc.

The weekend was quite lovely. Erik came back Sat morning after some mishaps.. and it was a lovely day. Took a walk in the park watching everything blooming.. and Sunday was even lovelier and I got to have my first beergarden experience this year ever! The comp is still er.. sleeping but one can't have everything.. though it would be kind of nice but whatever when you're me you can't expect that.

So overall things are cool, and really I don't have much to say. Yesterday's post was going to be about the weekend which is covered in the second paragraph, and yesterday I didn't do much except for not write the post about the weekend so I think I'm up to date.