Time is happening.

It's a weird thing really. A time comes and by the time it comes it's gone. It's now but before it was also now, and the future is never really here.

Oh and it can be now, but yesterday it was an hour earlier than it is now. I mean now it's an hour later than it is or was it an hour earlier than it is yesterday?

You know, stuff like that. I could go on. Actually I can't think of any more examples or I would be doing exactly that, as it is, it's time to go.

See what I did there? It's ok if you didn't notice, it wasn't very clever or humorous, if you missed it, you didn't miss anything. Later. *

*sorta did it again, but perhaps not really

When there's nothing to say..

One can enjoy the prettiness. Happy Spring world.

Well the Northern (if you look at the world the traditional way) part of it anyway.

At least those parts of that hemisphere that gets actual weather, and seasons that are not described primarily as "dry" or "wet".

Well the regions within those parts of the Northern Hemisphere that isn't too cold all year to really get much of a spring, or is having another long winter in the fashion of last yesr that they can't seem to break, and possibly haven't yet.

Think I've covered it.

The Point

Do you ever stop to wonder whether there really is one? I mean really really deep down. Sure, there's a point to the stuff you do, getting up to walk over to the fridge, you want a drink, or on a different level you go to work to pay for what you need, ie the drink in the fridge, and you go to school to be able to learn stuff, to be able to work to pay for the drink in the fridge, you hang out with your friends because it's enjoyable, have sex because.. urges, have kids because, I don't know why but people who have them seem to know why (well most of them anyway hopefully) but really, what's the point?

I would answer that but I can't. Not because I don't know the answer but because it can't be answered, not properly anyway if you're going to get technical. I suppose I could say "nothing" but I don't think that's technically correct. The answer, which is not so much an answer but a recognition that it is a flawed question is, there is no point. Really, there isn't. You live you die and what you do in between is filled with points, but ultimately, when you get down to the great mystery of the universe and all that crap, there just sin't one. The thing is though, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't change anything about stuff, whether the stuff has a point to it or not.

That's what I think anyway. Carry on.

It's happening.. it's happening..

well it should be. Something anyway. It's that time of year, spring is coming, festivals are around the corner. I have all these projects, one of which I spent a tiny bit of time on yesterday outlining.. (it's actually an outline that I'm doing, but so far I've only began setting up the outline of that) and reading up more about how to actually do this, something I should have done weeks ago but..

well, if nothing else spring is coming/already here and though it's a gloomy couple of days we should get sun again and... beergarden weekend! I hope.

I really have nothing with which to fill up space on this blog, to be honest. 

Signing up.

I keep signing up for these things, these sites that are helpful in various ways, for finding work, learning website design, screenwriting, what's on in your city well not the last one but others and other stuff like those things and yeah, I skimmed over the site and thought oh I'll read that more carefully later or fill in my profile or find out what they actually mean by data entry or something like that and I give them my email and say yes to updates and offers and.. I forget about it, don't really look at the site again for reasons, either it's slightly difficult to fill in the details or the articles are like, 4 pages long and I can't be bothered right now but maybe I'll read it later but later I'm doing something else as well and anyway I've forgotten about it..

there really needs to be a page break here.. anyway, I never get around to doing the more in depth study of whatever it is, and only think about it again when I get the emails, with a new article or new positions in  my area or something of that nature, so I say.. oh yeah, that site, I should look at that properly, but I shouldn't do it now I do it later.. well, you can see where this is going. Let's just say, that cable never gets fixed.

The number of notifications seems to be growing, which makes mathematical sense if I semi regularly sign up for these things and only when I'm absolutely spammed to hell with shit from one do I go through the bother of cancelling, so there are more of them, and it's getting to the point where it just pisses me off. Every time I sign into my email there is something, but it's not an answer to an email I sent, or something from a friend, it's one of these damn impersonal links to shit I'm never going to look at, which only serves to remind me that I haven't done a fucking thing of any of the things I at some point half assedly decided I would do. This isn't a good feeling.

I'm doing it again.

That is, not doing it again. Doing it not again. Doing not it again.

Actually I'm not doing anything really, and that, is what I'm doing again. I'm saving new bookmarks, seeing new lightbulbs ie new ideas for things I could do revisiting old ideas for long enough to think I should look into that later on when I'm home and sometimes sending myself a reminder on the phone, but that's about it. All these new things and things that I began and things I thought of but never actually got around to beginning, are not progressing as I would like them to be.

I'm actually currently in the process of editing a video that was shot 6 months ago, that should have been done 2-4 months ago, and am still rather shamefully in the beginning stages of that. Well technically currently I'm writing a blog post, so perhaps I'm avoiding that. How's that for a way to make myself do things, use it as a way to procrastinate other things. Yes, I think that is the entire reason for this post, this one that's about not getting things done. It's fitting.

I should write.

I want to write. I want to be a writer, not just someone who tumbles out a log string of characters that barely come together in a coherent form that represent my rambling thoughts as I type without any clarification and no editing. You know, proper writing.

This blog will never be that, though I'd like to be, well, a more regular thing, and more varied in subject. I'd like to be able to write articles, essays, that sort of crap, stories, novels, a screenplay. Actually the last I'm doing, if by "doing" you mean, there's a plan for it that I spoke of with some people 2 weeks ago and I haven't actually started yet, but that's something which is an example of what I'd like to be able to do. Seeing as I'm, um, doing it and all. Not on my own mind you, but still.

The brain needs exercise. I know that if I got into the habit, even of writing every day and not just writing for the sake of writing but having something if not terribly meaningful, at least worthwhile in some way, I would get better. If I could get over this weird anxiety I have about.. well, everything, but specifically in this case about writing about things like news or politics, or really anything outside of my immediate experience, then I'd get good at it. I'd get into the habit of it and be able to submit an article to a magazine, about a subject, an actual subject! I'd get ideas for things to write about, I'd just get better, in general.

So I'm adding it to my list. My long list of things, these things being stuff I want to do, and actually finish, and in some way count for something. It probably isn't prudent at this point to add anything, because having new things just make me completely forget the last thing I was doing, not to mention everything else on the list, but those things get forgotten anyway,s o I might as well have another thing started, which will never get finished, or as it may be, another thing on the list which never gets any more attention than an idea that I should do it sometime. I don't even have the list written down, so that's as far as it goes.

A sporty one.

I'm not into sports, never have been, not engaging in or being a supporter of, really. Actually hated it at school, that is, the competitive team sport crap they make you do, being utterly shit at it all I had to deal with the mockery of my team mates and that's not fun at any time. I liked it when we did the what most kids (that is, most kids who didn't feel the same way as me about sports which I've seen realized is fewer than I thought) thought of as boring shit. It was boring shit, like you know, basic gymnastic stuff or exercises. No score keeping, no team to try to get as far away as possible from, just, boring, which it was but, better than the other stuff.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere really. It's just been a sporty year for me so far. Not by the standards of a sporty person, or a non not sporty person, or even a regular person (you know, one who does stuff, achieves things and all that)but I've been skating twice. Twice! And it's only March. That is the one thing I was ever good at, sporting wise, unless you count dancing which I'm sorta good at, if you don't count like, gymnastic and balletic stuff, but I liked it, went often and became good. Then I didn't do it for 10 years, and then another 15 or more. I went once for 10 minutes in the center of Prague before they closed the thing down, and finally, earlier this year I got to go skating properly. Took me a long time to get used to it again, but once I did, I reckon I was probably nearly as good as I used to be. The more recent time, at the Olympic Park they set up for the duration of the win ols (I just made that up, I'd use it but it's another 4 years before there's another one of those so) I was shaky at first, again, but it only took about 10 minutes before I was skating away.. well, before I was skating without feeling wobbly. The setup was strange, chaotic, fun, but not ideal for long stretches of skating.

Oh and I went to a hockey game yesterday. An actual stadium with sports, ice hockey I mean, in case you weren't sure, not the one they play on sand or whatever. It was interesting, not the first time I've ever seen a proper game like this, that was in Israel my last visit where our hosts were going to a basketball game so we went along. That was something very new to me so perhaps this game wasn't as much of a novelty, though quite different, but still. It was ok, quite fun, I mean, I did enjoy the lion mascot and the er.. break time, half time.. whatever you call it in a game that has 3 periods entertainment more, but still, quite liked it.
I'm not about to make a habit of going to games, or doing anything other than skating really (and dancing but that's not really under the umbrella of sports properly) and I'm certainly not going to join the beach volleyball group or engage in any bullshit fucking full of assholes team sport any time soon or ever.. but, it's slightly more than I've done.. well ever.*

 *Except for when I used to go skating all the time and was really good, and I was at school at the time so I did sports of some sort at least twice a week during school terms whether I liked it or not, and I didn't but I had to do it anyway.

Yes, I am here.

This blog does exist, after all. What is no one talking about that anymore? Ok, that all happened like, weeks ago but it's still the first thing one sees at the top of this blog, or, well, was until I wrote (am writing) this, so I thought I should mention it. So I'm here. It's March, another month has ended and I had precious little to put on the blog, funny how not much ends up on here when I don't set myself arbitrary goals. Just didn't have much to write about, and when I had something to say I just couldn't think of any particularly witty ways of putting figurative pen to metaphorical paper, and when I did come up with the doozies, the quips, the drollity etc, I just couldn't be bothered to write it down. Yeah stuff has happened, not a lot of stuff, I am me after all but there's been stuff. Didn't get at least 2 jobs, got a haircut, had 2 meetings with people about acting and film related things, went skating, some other stuff. Some of it may have been worth writing about but I didn't mention it at the time for either reasons 2 or 3, and some of it is just reason 1. Most of it is reason 1. I may flesh some of it out sometime, or not. It is possible that there may be yet other things to mention, we shall yet see.