Parade O' Dudes.

It's just been one of those days. Things break, screw up, don't work again for the third time in a month, wait for guys to come and fix it.. then have someone knock on the door to fix something that was screwed up by them (hole in the wall.. may have mentioned it) which he already partially did.. leave, come back, later than he says he's going to...

It's taken up my whole day! Sitting, waiting, not able to shower or get ready cos I think they're going to show up any second.. then they don't show up any second or even any minute.. have the door buzz and knock multiple times, the poor kitty has been behind the stove most of the day and is afraid another dude will come by.

And I had to do things! Things, that needed doing!

There's time yet.. just.

It's one of those days. You know, that day that comes every year, where everyone makes a big deal about you, and gets you drunk, sometimes there's cake, and you're a year older.

I mean every day is one of those, for many people, but we each get only one. Mine is today. Yes.. another year older. All I'm saying about that is, not 40 yet. Ok ok, I'm 39 today. 30 fucking nine that's like almost 40!!! That's like the Patsy Stone's fake age that she was for most of her 40s and possibly longer but.. 39!

Well.. age aside, it's my day and I get to go out somewhere nice, and drink, and have lots of people post on my Facebook page. It's not so bad. And it's still not.. you know.. actually 40. "They" say life begins at said age which I am not yet, no that's not this birthday, and well, I'd kinda like that if it was true really.. it would be a good excuse for the pathetic utter lack of achievement I've attained for this not spring chicken age I've arrived at.. and if I start then that would also mean I've got another whole year of pissing about, maybe preparing a bit no mostly pissing about..

but I feel that "they" overstate it, and probably are just saying that because well.. they feel like they're old, which I'm not yet because I haven't gotten there yet. I might do a Patsy and stay with this one for a few years, I was 29 for a while actually.. or I would have been if I could have gotten away with it, but.. well. I'll see. Anyway, I'm off, well not now but later and might not be able to sign in later or tomorrow so if I don't see you until then Happy Birthday to me. ;)

Relatively easy come, even more easy go.

I almost had a job. Well I was closer to getting one than I have been for a long time, well.. since the last job I had. Not as close as the last almost job before the last job I had, which was only for one month.. (the job only lasted one month, I didn't fuck up and get fired or anything).. as I actually worked at that one, one full plus a bit shift, and got a job with them but somehow a change in management made them completely forget about me..

Anyway.. I saw a posting, answered it, actually got a reply, which is rare in itself, had a meeting, seemed to be going well.. went along on one of the tours to see what it was about for it is a tour guide job and.. well.. someone else got it, and there was only one position they had to give see.

So that's it for that.

At least the domicile is slowly being pieced back together, finally got the washing machine fixed, the hole in the wall is one step closer to being sealed properly, and a dude is fixing the water heater which got screwy again a few days ago.. well still heats water but the heater hasn't been working. Of course it's been a particularly cold couple of days, but the point is we're almost back to fully operational, that is if nothing else screws up before it's done which could take longer than this current visit and the 2 for the other issue.

Oh whatever.

Physical Reality.

You know how there are these people right? I mean.. people. flesh and blood beings, they're actually the ones that put together all the stuff on the internet.. they created it, they make the sites and many many many of them are behind all those icons and usernames that post stuff and reply to stuff and chat and stuff on said internet.

Yeah, they're real. I'm actually one, and i know a few. I suppose I know many.. not so many who I associate with unless there's a specific reason like.. a job or something, there's one, and then a few more I see on and off.. one of those just left the city..

what I'm trying to say is, I'm largely alone in this vast (ish) city of mine regarding relationships with these "people" I speak of. I stay sane most of the time because a combination of one of them, being very close to me, and around a lot.. and regular communication with the icon and username people plus a certain real life non person furry creature around.

Well.. one of those will not be around in about 10 days, not so long, about 2 weeks, but long enough to be without this particular aspect of sanity protection. As it will be the only one of these which are a) real as in really there physically, b) around a fair bit and c) actually human and able to carry on a conversation that isn't about tuna.. well.. ya know, might be online a fair bit. Just sayin.

And for the most exciting news of the.. month.

Some goobers put a hole in our wall. Yeah. Didn't even leave the house, didn't do anything, barely spoke to anyone, but, something happened.

There we are, lying in bed in the morning when some worker dudes next door start making ungodly amounts of noise. And ungodly noises they were too. It started with hammering, then some drilling, then they hammered a bit more and then did a combination of both. It was some time before 8 when they started, and well.. needless to say things were already pretty vexing.

So we get up.. it's about time to and really, with that going on, you at least need to have a coffee.

Well to cut a not all that interesting and already too long story short, one of these dudes knocked a hole in the wall. I was first alerted to the fact by the cat running into the bedroom, eyes wide with terror after a particularly loud noise in for a particularly noisy work crew. I go into the kitchen, and there it is, hole in the wall, with rubble and shit on the floor. Thanks.

I alerted the dudes to the fact, through the wall, seeing as there was now a convenient little porthole to talk through.. and they tell me "yeah yeah, I know". And then of course they came over immediately apologizing and getting right down to fixing it.. oh wait, no they didn't, they ignored me after that. We called  the landlord, eh said he'd get on it.. and some hour or so later one of the guys came in and did a rudimentary fill in of the hole. Still looks like crap, but at least I didn't have to listen to them yammering after that.

And that's pretty much it. Next time something happens I'll be sure to write again.

I think sometimes..

and then I stop. Why bother.

*goes back to sleep*

no really.. I spend most of my time musing, worrying, going over things in my mind, fantasizing, hoping. More than I should really. Even getting things down on paper ie the keyboard to the computer screen is more than I am able to push those thoughts. Further than that, they rarely make it.

I'm whining again. It mightn't seem like that at first but that's exactly what I'm doing. I'd like to get out of that habit one o these days.. haven't managed to just yet. Could be a while.

O FFS

Another week gone by.. well technically just starting and..

nothing. Nothing changing nothing going on nothing on the horizon.

It's partly my fault.. mostly my fault ok all my fault. I t's me that's the problem, me me and all me. There's things going on out there, not necessarily great things or things that suit me or things that would work out of rme but they are things. And I'm not part of them because of me.

I'm not part of things I'm not creating things not doing any things.. no things. There are no things!

Life without things is like.. I dunno. Not much.

I may feel more positive by the next time I write.

*feels a bit clever for once*

I've heard of this one!

lily-livered - Weak or lacking in courage; cowardly; pusillanimous.

But surely, for your own sake, you will not be so lily-livered as to fall into this trap which he has baited for you and let him take the very bread out of your mouth without a struggle.
-- Anthony Trollope, Barchester TowersHe had skin as white as a lily, but he was not lily-livered; he was as strong as a champion at the Shrovetide games.
-- Geoffrey Chaucer and Peter Ackroyd, Canterbury Tales a pretty well known expression I expect..and like many, was first coined by Shakespeare..

The liver was supposedly the seat of passion and was typically dark red or brown. Since a lily is pale and light-colored, a lily-livered person was weak and passionless.

hmm... don't know why he had to pick on lillies.. I think they're rather nice myself.. but, whatever.

anyway, Happy November.