Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I feel empty

Stupid me woke up today feeling somewhat relieved, thinking that things might get better. The last few days have been rather awful. I was supposed to move yesterday, something I haven't been looking forward to. I told the landlord a month ago and said that a friend would probably take over the flat, and even though he decided not to, I haven't bothered to update the landlord on this. I also hadn't moved most of or hardly any of my stuff out, and a meeting in the morning with my future landlord after waking up feeling utterly shit, due to a night of partying in the "office" actually the flat I'm moving into, and discovering the devastation left by the partying, really didn't help.

But I got through it, met with both landlords, came to a reasonable agreement, and got this place (the aforementioned "office") cleaned up. So everything was cool.

This morning I woke up feeling somewhat relieved, thinking that things might actually get better. So I came in to work, (to the "office") and my friend and partner was in his room, slumbering away. Considering the scene I came across yesterday, this was positively favourable.

My feeling of serenity lasted a few hours, until the guy in the bedroom woke up and yelled some questions at me. First I discovered that his phone was gone, which is a pain but not such a big deal, and then he asked "do you have the camera?"

I didn't. I mean, I didn't take it with me last night, as I sometimes do. I looked around and it wasn't here. Neither the old olympus or the my new baby, the Fujifilm.

The details are pointless and uninteresting, and they don't change the fact that it's gone, gone and not coming back. My life is empty, nothing has any point anymore. Why oh why do these things happen to me?

I blame January.

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