A movie..

What I woz in.

You can see more here.

I suck

I'd like to send out a congratulations to Mr Angry, fellow blogger and Aussie/insert whatever slang/insulting word you use in your part of the world to refer to Australians, that is if you've even heard of them. He's gonna be on telly, due to being a very talented and popular blogger/youtube thingy creator. Good on ya mate! It's nice to see people get rewarded for their work.

Now.. guess who's not gonna be on telly? Guess who's never, ever in the entire future history of the world going to be on television, in a major film or in fact anything acting related that is done professionally and well paid? Can you guess who?

Well if you guessed me then you guessed right. Now, do you want to know why I'm never ever going to be in anything that ever gets seen by people? I hope you do, because I'm going to tell you.

I went to a casting today. It's for a Nokia ad, and I found out about it because someone told me about it last night and suggested I go to it. I'm not with any agency currently so I haven't been going to these castings, and really didn't know what to expect.

So, I arrived there. There were lots of people just waiting around. I went to the front desk, filled out the form then looked like an idiot because I didn't fill out the agency I'm with. Nice start. I talked a bit to this girl I know from class, who was there for the same reason, then all the women were called into the casting room.

I appeared to be the only non model who is anywhere near or over 30 there. I wandered if Brian had forgotten to mention, or handn't known that they wanted models specifically, or if it was just a coincidence. I wasn't too pleased to be doing the silly casting thing in front of all these people, including someone I know from class.

The casting woman (whatever you call these people) called up two girls before me to do their thing. They had to walk cats and get all confused and be self conscious. The cats were a bag and some stuffed toys on a string. The first girl did pretty well, considering the silly circumstances, the second girl looked a bit more uneasy.

Then I had to get up. I fucked up right from the beginning, I started to do the introduction while she was taking my picture. Then I had to do the cats thing. I didn't even try to act, or if I was trying it was so dreadful I shouldn't have tried it. I was too busy just getting the movements right, she was telling me to move right, move left, which I actually also got wrong first, then to tangle the lines up together, look around, look confused. Every second she was telling me some specific movement to do so I was just following that. And it was dreadful.

Then she said everyone who was done could go, and pointed at me. Sure, I had already done mine, but so had 2 others, but I suppose they were considered good enough to try for one of the other parts. I obviously wasn't.

Well, the worst part isn't that I sucked so monumentally badly, or that I'm ugly, fat and old. The worst part is that I'm ugly, fat and old and I sucked monumentally in front of the major casting agent in Prague. I've been putting it off but I've been meaning to sign up with her agency for a while and was planning to do it in the next week or so. Now, I don't know. She's seen me, seen what I can do, or rather what I can't do, and the chances if I sign up with her that I'll ever get sent for anything ever are nil. Exactly nil.

So I'm feeling a bit shitty right now if you don't mind.

An eveing with God

I found this via Pharyngula and I thought seeing as it's Sunday, it's a good time to enjoy a few miracles and chuckles. Hosted by a couple of goofy Australian dudes.

Who Would Jesus Stiff?

I went to my usual class again last night. Well it's not all that usual, I've been missing a lot of classes lately due to a major block in creativity. I sucked. I did a door and it was bad. Everyone else in the class was brilliant so I feel extra crappy in comparison to everyone.

But it doesn't matter. What matters is the beer. After class we went to the pub. We sat around, drinking beer, talking, laughing and trying to outdo each other in wit and charm. I won of course but I don't think anyone recognized that I did.

After a bit of joking around JP, a member of our christian family started talking about Jesus to a member of the class, and from what I could understand was trying to "save" him. It didn't appear to work, though the guy was listening to him, he was obviously treating it as a joke.

But JP was not deterred. He turned to John, another class member who had become interested in the conversation. They began a debate which included a lot of stuff I'd heard before from reading about this a lot on the internet, JP was saying the prayer you need to say to let Jesus into your heart and talking about His great gift that you just have to accept, while John was asking a lot of typical questions of skeptics. I listened in to most of it as I found it interesting. Both were very committed to their views but it stayed civil, and when they finished talking they were still friends who both believed exactly what they believed before they began the conversation.

JP was obviously in the mood for some Jesus talk, he turned to me and asked if I wanted to get the gift of getting into heaven (or something like that) and I told him I don't believe there is a heaven, and he said ok and moved on to the guy next to me, who gave his own reason for not wanting to listen to it, and JP left it.

So it was ok. Nice guy if a bit young and idealistic, though that's just my opinion. Then it was time for them to go. JP and his group left. It didn't look like he'd left money so we figured he'd paid at the bar for their group. Whatever, we carried on...

but, about an hour later, when the last of us paid the bill there was a discrepancy. Everyone paid for their own, but there was some mysterious beers left over.

The Christians didn't pay!

Seriously.

Moral of the story is, if you're going to try to make people follow your religion by promising them a gift of love and an afterlife full of happiness and plenty, then don't leave them with your bill.

Seriously, pay for your beers Christians. You'll get more converts that way.

Nothing to say, nothing going on.

So I'll leave you with some links.

I write some stuff for other sites every now and again. Well, I wrote a few articles for one site a few months ago and haven't bothered to do more since, but anyway, it's here.

A friend of mine also writes for the site, just much more than I do, and has a lot of interesting facts about beer that you never knew, plus some travel stuff and some crap about sports and other stuff. He also writes other articles about beer, and crap about sports and stuff here.

And if you happen to remember, this isn't the only blog I keep. No, I also have 1000 Words my photoblog, and Draw on my Boobs. I won't tell you what that is if you don't even know, just to get you to click.

Apologies if I've linked to this stuff before. Well, actually no, I mean I have linked to them before but by now I know no one's looking at the stuff, so there.