A Time For Reflecting.

The new year is almost upon us and what does one make of it? who knows, for me this year has been strange, even different. A big change right at the beginning, being rather unceremoniously thrown out of my life, I mean sorta, I mean it wasn't even that bad but that's kinda what happened. A few months living in between um, stuff, getting used to being a working person, and going through the shock and the pain though there really wan't much just all this strangeness of everything new and not knowing how it would end up so it basically involved a lot of drinking. And stuff. A few moves through some transitory stages until setting, sorta, into a more permanent place both physically and um.. other ways.. though the place still physically looks simultaneously as if I'm just passing through and very very lived in if you know what I mean, it's become home for the foreseeable future, and other parts of my life, work and relationship seem to be the way it will be for said foreseeable time coming up so yeah, settled. Again, just sorta. Some sucked about the year but some was alright. Overall I think it was good, if just because it broke up a pattern and changed things, even made me get out and have a bit of a life, for a while, before I settled back in to my old ways. Next year will probably be much the same. Or different, who knows. I do plan to do things, for example, all those things I've always been planning to do but never did. I plan to stop engaging in several bad habits that I have, and finally become like, this totally different person who's great at stuff and adored and rich. Things like that. I also, well don't exactly plan but definitely expect none of these things to come to pass, certainly no more than for a day, maybe two. So you know the usual. Looking back, making resolutions. Going out and getting drunk, maybe seeing fireworks. See you next year.

Another year over..

and a new one just begun... grrr.. no now I'll have it in my head forever. So this is xmas, and the end of the year. Pretty much achieved the same as I have every other year which is an amount very close to if not entirely similar to um.. bugger all. *sighs* If I either cared enough to do something about it or didn't care about it at all life would be so much easier. I think it's time for a drink, no, to go though that script I need to know by tomorrow and maybe learn it.. not, for a drink. Later.

The Meaning Of It All.

Why oh why oh why did I ever start this. Out of all the things I over the years could have made a consistent effort of getting done, it has to be this thing, and by thing I mean a loose collection of semi related activities, they can be grouped as a thing, somehow. Completely useless the thing, of course, it doesn't pay, doesn't help the world, it's just wasting time on the internet. I've been slack about even that, lately, but no matter how lazy I get the milestones always get me, anniversaries.. birthdays. Now I have the pressure on, the year I've turned is the exact number that Douglas Adams chose at random to represent high minded meaningful meaningfulness in a humorous and ridiculous way and I feel obligated to say something witty and like, relevant and stuff about it. Well I can't think of anything so I'm not going to bother.

Been a quiet month..

well, I've been quiet here, this city has been quiet relative to recent months and most likely next month. The world hasn't been quiet but the world never really is, some things just get out attention more. It's decided it's winter here after a mild and almost warm late-ish autumn. It's a bit of a shock really, not sure I like it, but that's the way the seasons go, it's hot it's cold and in between it's usually overcast and drizzly and forgettable. Thus is life.

Something visual.

Just to say I'm still around. Sorta.

I did it!

I finished something. This is a thing that I started months ago that should have been finished months ago. I just finally for the most part finished it. Now I can put my full force into avoiding the other things that are still hanging over me and trust me, it's a huge relief to be able to concentrate on those things now. Really, it does kinda help, in a small way.

I guess it's a kind of achievement.

The number of things I manage to successfully avoid doing grows every day. Ok perhaps that's at tiny exaggeration. There's a bunch of things, some big some small, the big things are well.. 2 things that I've managed to completely or mostly avoid doing for a few months now, and there's the other stuff that comes and goes, you know, cleaning, putting on pants that sort of thing, that I consistently am able to not do. Today was going to be my big "get stuff done" day. I mean every day that I don't have to work or don 't have to work until the afternoon is that, but it still counts. So far I've achieved.. *thinks about it*.. nothing. But I have excuses, one, I had someone in my room all morning, that is the part of the early afternoon after which I was already awake, in here yammering on about stuff and I wasn't able to concentrate. two, there's no water, they turned the water off in the building for half the day and that's just kind of annoying, can't shower, can't have a second coffee etc... and three and I stress this is the most important one, I don't feel like it. Oh and it's overcast and gloomy outside, and probably quite cold so getting out there to do something just doesn't appeal to me. And so here I am. Hey.. I just blogged. that's kind of something. *feels satisfied with self and doesn't do anything else for a week*

I appear to be absent.

It seems as though I'm not really around anymore. I could be wrong but I get that feeling. I'm not sure why, well I know why, it's because this is a place where one is expected to have "an idea" and form a somewhat coherent and at least minimally interesting way of presenting it, and one, well, one just can't keep up with that. I suspect I'm correct and if I were to ask myself and I were to give an honest answer, I would agree. So, mystery solved then. Carry on.