Every day is like Sunday.

And Sundays suck. They're slow, dull, always grey, sometimes rain. You're all alone and hardly anyone's about, you know those people who update blogs, comment on stuff and joke around online, the people who are the only people left, because you'r all alone, they're just not there. Out doing stuff in this "real world" I keep hearing about, I guess. And having the day off work doesn't matter because I don't work anyway. Today is Sunday, today's like that. I'm here, it's dreary and I'm all alone. Typical Sunday. Tomorrow is Monday. Most people don't like Mondays. It's the beginning of a long work week, and most people work. At least I think most people do, decent people, people who are worth something do. I don't really have that relationship with Mondays, though I always felt the difference, having someone who is a decent person and goes back to work then. It was weekend over for everyone here so I guess I got a little bit of it. Not sure if I feel that anymore. I don't like them though, they're just like Sundays, just a whole lot of pointless pointlessness, being alone and it's all grey, all day. And if it isn't it might as well be. Did I happen to mention things kind of suck?

Posting a pic..

because it's something to put here. This is me.. surprise surprise ;) by some graf/art whatever you want to call it if you're being nitpicky, by the Danube in Vienna.

And now... again.

Right now, if things had gone to plan, I'd be somewhere else. I might be somewhere worse, somewhere that made me cringe, that made me cry, in fact, most likely I would be so it's just as well they didn't go to plan, but it might have worked out. That would have led to more waiting, more anxiety, more likely cringing and crying and quite possibly a situation where it all ends, actually almost certainly, knowing me. I'm not there now. Instead I'm exactly where I was.. just waiting. No longer for the one specific thing, that would be over with by now and I'd be looking back on how it all went, ready for the next step (well, assuming it went well enough for that which wasn't a definite or in fact terribly likely thing) and yeah.. I'd have a clue what's going on in my life. And here I am, still with no clue. Ok a clue, but not enough of a clue. I know certain things, things I'm blissfully and shamefully ignoring as best I can while dealing with them, to a certain degree, because letting all that in just makes it impossible for me to what needs to be done, at least I tell myself that, to give myself a better excuse than that I just don't want to think about it. I don't know, maybe it's a bit of both. Main point is, back to the drawing board, and the keyboard for something else which I tell myself is a sure thing though again, knowing me and knowing my history it's utterly foolish to think that way, in any case it's not enough so both drawing and typing are essential. If I can keep myself away from my distractions enough, I may just get something done. If the world lets me.

Limbo..

or Purgatory. I feel like I've done this before, like, exactly this same title and first line before. I probably have, I have a tendency to write things and forget completely about it and repeat the same thing again as if I've just had this new brilliant insight, I think. Well anyway.. I'm in this.. metaphorical halfway house, which I think I may have brought up as well, before and possibly in fact when I wrote this title and first line before, but I'm less sure about that.. so I'm in this in between thing. I won't go into details but I just am. It was really bad at first then it was between really bad and not so bad as circumstances allow me to ignore it and/or numb the reality for most of the time and now it's just.. I don't know.. I just don't really feel anything. Or I do but only the stuff that doesn't bother me so much. So yeah.. I'm just waiting for things to get on with it. I've done stuff. Actually went out, took the bull by the horns all that bullshit, did what I had to, and should be continuing to do, but as is my usual habit when something is on the horizon I act like I'm going to get to said horizon so I don't need to keep doing that so note to self, keep doing that, and well so this stuff, it's happening it's leading to stuff.. it's just leading really slowly.. too slowly for me, and I don't know where I'm at right now because I don't know where I'm going to be at you see what I mean? You don't, I'm sure of it, point is it's annoying. Today I had something scheduled. Something that was a big deal for me, something I stressed over and looked forward to being over and done with, which I would be right now, because however it would turn out, whether it would be great, just ok, or a total cockup, I'd at least have done that, and I'd know more about what's going to happen. Of course, it didn't happen.. somebody somewhere got confused and someone else was already there and that would have been too many cooks, so to speak, though we aren't cooks, but I had to turn around and go home, scheduled to go back later in the week. After having a coffee. So here I am, still wherever it is I am, not quite how how I feel about it or about anything.

Big important buildings..

for big important stuff and/or people. Vienna.

Well, that was fun.

I had an alright time in Vienna. Didn't do anything I planned to do although I never planned anything. Did some unexpected things, which can be expected due to the lack of any expectation. Otherwise, it was quite fun, had a few mini adventures, met some interesting and/or odd people.. not too many, but some. It does seem like a long time ago already, and everything that happened, everything that was said, all the laughs.. just don't mean the same thing anymore. Shit is like that. Yes this year is well underway and I'm not sure I like that.

Getting out.

I've done nothing so far, in this year of 2015. Literally nothing. I know the time for saying.. I haven't... last year is over. It was over 2 weeks ago ok a week ago or a week and a bit, but this is me. I'm able to literally not get out of the house and connect with a single other soul for 2 weeks or more, easily. Ok so it hasn't been that much or that long.. well that long, but I haven't so much as been on a tram this year. I haven't been anywhere.. ok I've been to the restaurant across the street, and a pub up the road, and to the supermarket, and seen the kitties.. but I haven't gone anywhere that requires me to drive there, or in my case, to take public transport. Not once. Not since xmas eve actually but that's all last year and that doesn't count anymore. Today that's changing.. I'm getting on a bus. not a tram but a bus to go to a bus station where I get on a bus and go across a border. To Austria.. to the city of Vienna. That should be nice.

Oh yeah.. it's 2015.

And still no hoverboard :(

o well.. have a drink.