Bye bye 2020

2020 is such a good looking set of numbers. Its a shame the year has sucked so much. It started bad and is ending awfully, atrociously, for the world and for me personally.

I have no hope for 2021. Things wilk just get worse.

I've been listening to and (poorly)singing this song a lot lately.

https://youtu.be/FeU_qC5tBOEk

I was playing it too and getting quite good but alas I have no  guitar on which to play it now.

Dark Times

Tonight is the night when the spirits and the humans can walk among one another, or so some lore says. I won't be out because we have a curfew. A fucking curfew! I may have said the same thing back in the spring when this was all happening the first time round. I don't know, I've ceased caring about things.

Back then this country was one of the safer ones, with regard to this whole pandemic, there were rules and laws that enough people followed to keep things relatively under control. 

Then it was all over. Things opened up, people went out, stopped wearing masks. Now we're the worst in Europe. It's all shutting down again, businesses have gone under, I've run out of money though I haven't actually had any for the whole year and it's all coming back. Except I don't care. I've stopped caring about anything because all it does is aggravate, and here I am.

From the little I've been forced to pay attention to things around me it seems as though people are a bit less vigilant about the whole keeping safe thing than they were first time around. I think everyone's just bored of it. 

Worst thing is I've almost run out of tv. I've been watching a lot and they've stopped making as much of it, I'm going to run out soon and I may be forced to think about stuff which I'm not looking forward to. If I'm out on the street by then none of this will mattet, of course.

Through September under the weather..

Still here. Still literally here in the same dump. Things got a bit better about a month ago. This is true for me, for this place I live and for the whole world it seems. 

I got my job back, at reduced hours and wages, then it stopped for reasons not entirely related to the shutdown. Then everything shut down again. Prospects are dim again with a future that's even less certain than it was. 

I find myself in the exact position I was months ago, with more reason to worry but less mental energy to give a shit about it all. 

Whatever, when I'm literally out on my ass I'll figure out what I can do. Right now I'm cleaned out, I've got nothing.

Big Fat Wall of Nothing

This is what I'm faced with every morning. The same nothing I've slammed up against almost every day since this new era started.

I'm unemployed (technically employed but by a company that shut down, then resumed limited operations which employed some people which are not me, and still hasn't paid out the final wages from March) destitute and desperate. I'm looking for work and failing. I apply for any old crap that any fuckwit can do and guess what? There's at least one fuckwit who isn't worthy of even a response to an application. That would be me.

But there's more nothing. The bank account. Some help I got (or have had attempted to send?) is not arriving. It was going to be slow and now it's taking longer because of post or something. Post, in the age of internet. Why it's iinvolved I don't know but it's bringing me nothing.

Oh I did get a film role, to play a 60 year old woman. Yeah, the student (fucking 20 year olds!) acknowledged that I'm a bit younger than the character but we could do  it with clothes and a little makeup. A little.

Then she decided to go with someone a bit more suitable for the role. So I'm back to nothing. 

No News

Today is day 202 of 2020

Here's a picture.

I'm afraid it's going to get a bit negative here..

Just for a change.

It's raining, and very cold for July, especially in this rapidly burning up earth. I'm feeling kind of chilled, after coming home earlier from a completely pointless jaunt to the bank to try and find out where my originally sent to the wrong location bank card had been returned to. I still don't know after mang phone calls, attempted phone calls, email and facebook message. That was the irritating part of the day.

The truly awful part of the day started later. Our landlords have been truly awful of late..

and YES WE OWE BACK RENT BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE THERE WAS/IS A GLOBAL PANDEMIC WHICH SHUT THE COUNTRY DOWN!!!! Both residents of this abode depend on industries that are particularly affected by this i.e the tourist industry, and we have been paying along the way just not enough to catch up yet. 

Oh and my company has resumed operations, just on the weekends with a skeleton staff... which I found out when I saw the big red buses and our guys with our red umbrellas with my own eyes... they don't have work for me, only 2 tours a day done by one person (I mean I'm one fucking person aren't I?) and they don't have money to pay us for the last week we worked in March. Well they have money but they need it for investment. I mean I just need money for rent and food, and the other things that us plebs squander it all on, so it's all understandable.

So we owe rent. I did some work for them, not well received but I did it, and we've been paying a daily amount that she calculated, and trying to scrounge for money every day. Not a convenient system nor one conducive to letting someone get an actual job which actually pays weekly or monthly after you've been working for a while but such things don't bother her. 

Today we don't have the money. And she had no interest in giving a few days before the next payment, no, money today or we're out.

Well that didn't happen. At least I think it didn't. We may have been saved by someone she respects slightly reasoning with her, her own disclination to be bothered in the night and the rain or.. I think that's it.

So safe for now. Tomorrow is another day. And days start very early around here.

A Square

The back and forth between imminent doom and just scraping by continues. As that rumbles along in the background, here's a picture I took today.

Get Me Outta Here

2020, despite the elegant symmetry of the date, has not been good to me. It started poorly, went downhill from there and the rest is a strange time in history which we all, everywhere on this earth have experienced together. 

The pandemic has been hard on me, as I've explained enough for to be nearing "ad nauseum" levels and it isn't getting better. 

My life has been a mediocre catastrophe, that is deeply stressful, always on the edge of destitution, but in a really boring way that's not worthy of writing a novel about. And it's not getting better.

July decided to slap me in the face, with me being roped into servitude for my landlord, doing jobs that were not properly explained, that the tools were not provided for and that I didn't feel confident doing. So I did a poor job which I was reminded of repeatedly, nevertheless I was expected to be on call for this work I was not (apparently) capable of barely getting done.

I did that until the showdown. Not with me, I'm a pathetic appeaser who lets people treat me like that, but I'm not the only one who lives here. Not everyone puts up with shit like that. And that was it, we were more fucked than before. 

So I spent the night talking on the phone, fielding intrusive questions (how much do you think your work is worth? Zero apparently) and how much do you think you owe (well no more than half of what you claim fuck face) and generally panicking. 

Then everything got saved, some friends talked to her, helped out a bit, and danger was averted. For now.

What I really want is a miracle. Some (realistic) good fortune or help is not going to get rid of this shit now, and once and for all.. so I'm afraid only a miracle will do. How exactly do I get one of those?

July 2020

Six months in already, time sure flies when a pandemic strikes, the country shuts down and you're in quarantine watching your measly funds dwindle away, occasionally taking a walk to the shop amongst the masked population, restrictions ease a bit and you don't have to use a mask all the time, funds keep dwindling, most businesses open up but yours doesn't because it's in tourism, you've pretty much run out of money but the landlord still wants rent, of course, they hold a huge dinner on a historical bridge to celebrate the end of coronavirus restrictions and then it's July.

I for one am looking forward to the plague of poisonous frogs. Here's a kind of pretty picture of ducks on a river before they're all dried up in August's fire storms.

Same Old World

Times are still strange, in this post pandemic, pandemic, pre second wave of pandemic world. Not sure exactly where we are. Things have happened, statues have been toppled talk has been had but let's face it, this plague, these protests, these economic problems are not going to change shit!

We, or rather those in power are not going to (let us) do things better, share the wealth, save the earth, stop being so fucking racist.. no a couple of dolphins swimming into bays or not, industry will roar again at full force, and everyone, barring the many who've been laid off will be expected to get in their cars to go travel to a location where they do work they can do from anywhere. And defunding the police, if it ever happens will be a debacle that really achieves nothing. It will all go on as it has, except we'll all (at least the despicably ordinary) will be a bit poorer, and things will be more expensive.

I may be feeling a tiny bit cynical here, and I confess it's entirely selfish. This whole shutdown has been a disaster for me and I'm wallowing a bit. Well a lot. My work, which is as a tour guide hasn't started again yet even though lockdown is officially over, sort of. Not a whole lot of tourism right now.

I have no money, I'm making no money, any attempts to get money from whatever work I can do, my (ex?) employers, friends etc has failed. Of course, just because the whole world shuts down and makes you unable to earn doesn't mean you don't have to pay for stuff. I've been stalling things for a few months now, hanging on, having a shoe box to park in, eating and even having the luxury of shampoo until a few days ago but it's all about to run out.

So conclusion: The world has always been a pile of shit, if we're to be honest, and it doesn't seem as though it will get anything but worse. Yeah that's my personal view. Sorry to be a downer.

Spinning Around

The world still spins, life goes on, slower than it usually does, and I'm still here, in the same spot. It's now May, the world is still on holiday but things are slowly thinking about what they're going to do next. None of this makes much sense but then nothing much does.

Restrictions have slightly loosened here, and people are being more casual with the restrictions that remain. The city remains quiet for this time of year, but not quite a ghost town.

That's a lot of words to say not much, so here are some pictures.

Life During Quarantine

It's been slow around here. I mean it's usually slow for me, as in there isn't a whole lot to write about at the best of times.. now it's pandemic time so...

I've done nothing, very close to literally nothing if you exclude the occasional breathing and walks outside which are still allowed, mostly.

I have spent most of my time in, just hanging around, despite the weather which for once has given us a beautiful start to the spring, but here are some photos from my few minutes outside this month. Happy quarantining.

Interesting Times

This is it, we're living in history, an actual global pandemic. That sounds bad.

I hope all this panic and what seemed like overreaction is just everyone (in many parts of the world anyway, including this one) is just being extra precautious (not sure that's actually a word, but it should be) and that's just what it will take to stop the spread of this virus and nip it in the bud.

Here they've just closed schools, then all gyms and restaurants etc. Advising people to wash their hands, stay home etc. That I don't mind, and have been spending a lot of time at home as my working hours have recently decreased significantly for reasons entirely unrelated to coronovirus... having said that, my work is in the tourist industry, my company, for reasons unrelated etc etc is already going through difficult times... so how much work there will be going forward I can't exactly know. I have another job I occasionally do, or did.. that's with a school, which are now all closed. The future is unclear.

So, I hope everyone is well, keeping safe, washing hands in hot or cold water, avoiding crowds, wearing masks/not wearing masks, postponing travel.. and whatever else it is you're supposed to do or whatever it is that helps.

It just started raining. Is that good or bad for the spread of this thing?

One in every 4...

years, there is a 29th day of February.

Here we are.. an extra day of the year to take a leap, get something done, live a bit extra.. personally I have.. I have.. um, well I've...

Here's a picture

That about sums it up.

I learned a new word today. Kakistocracy. It means "a system of government that is run by the worst, least qualified, and/or most unscrupulous citizens."

No comment 🙄

Another vaguely palindromic day is coming up on 20-02-2020, ie Thursday, though not quite as exciting as the last time, but one can still observe.

It's also Fat Thursday, which is not some American Pie eating celebration but the last Thursday before Lent and strangely enough it's a day of feasting. Not so much a day of praying but nevertheless St Vitus Cathedral, at home in Prague Castle (one of) my workplace(s) is opened only limited hours that day for "liturgical" reasons, and Fat Thursday seems to be the only Catholic holiday happening that day, so they might make that work. Either that or the Archbishop has a thing.

Anyway I'm not even there on Thursday but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

This is not St Vitus Cathedral, but St George's Basilica, and convent, also at Prague Castle.

I hope those links are all correct because they're a pain in the ass to do on the phone and I'm not going to bother checking if they work ok.

02/02 2020

                            02022020
Hey nerds, it's here! First completely palindromic date since 11/11 1111, which likely passed by with nary a notice by the average peasant, too busy ploughing the fields and eating turnips and dying of the plague to appropriately celebrate this momentus occasion. Don't know what day it is or even the year? No excuse!

Yeah I know the plague came later. The fever then, the common cold, anything really. Point is they didn't pay attention. Or at least I have no evidence that they did and assume, without any further investigation, that they didn't.

So it's up to us to mark this date. Which I just did, so that's done. I'm leaving you with an image that is entirely unrelated to the subject.

Fabulous February..

or Fab Feb, as one would obviously shorten it too. It's here, meaning the ominous month of January is over, at least for this year.

I'm afraid there's not much change. All my problems haven't disappeared, and nothing spectacularly unrealistic has happened to make things infinitely brighter, and it's been 19 hours already! I'm a tad disappointed.

However the month does hold some gems, particularly this year and especially if you're a bit of a nerd, as I am.

First of all it's (along with September) Alliteration Month, something I'm sure was just made up by me but it means that it holds days where the day/date/month all begin with the same letter. This Feb only has one which falls on Friday the 14th of Feb. Which brings me to...

Valentine's Day, on the 14th... Alliteration Day...the day o' love. Doesn't really count as I don't really celebrate this bullshit Capitalist holiday, but it's still there if you're into that sort of thing.

This year we get a bonus February day, being a leap year, and Leap Day which isn't an official term as far as I know, but I'm not the only one to use it, which means all those people born on the 29th of February get to have another birthday, after a 4 year break. The rest of us just get to take a leap and do something adventurous, which also isn't necessarily a custom but it was on an episode of Frasier and it's as good a reason as any to do something..

Spoiler alert. I almost certainly won't do anything exciting or different or even the least bit interesting on the 29th.

Now, drumroll please, we've come to the most exciting one. Tomorrow February the 2nd is palindrome day!!! The date is the same backwards as it is forwards, and I mean with the whole date with the full year and everything!

Well you need to put an 0 before the date and month, but you should anyway. Then you get..

02/02 2020

Isn't that just remarkable? And it works whatever order you do the date in, whether it's the American way or the right way. A very rare occurence, it hasn't happpened since like 1111.

Tomorrow's also Groundhog Day where a rodent tells of the coming (or not) of the early spring. And the annual rewatch of the Bill Murray film of the same name, for people who do that kind of thing.

Happy Nerdy February all!!!!

Nearly Over

It's nearly over, the month o' Jan, this dreary, broke, empty, drizzly, miserable month. Just over 6 hours now.

Then what? Well the sun will come out* all my problems will disappear and nice things will start to happen... like it always is...

(This is where you insert that now somewhat outdated record scratch side effect)

Ok so previous years this hasn't always, or ever been the case, but it's still January's fault, it has to be, otherwise all this bullshit is a symptom of this new year, this whole year which is going to last a year!!! Or just my life.

So I'm being optimistic, or perhaps delusional but I've decided that this shit belongs with this month and this month only!

*well not as it becomes February as it will be midnight

An image to brighten things up..

in this miserable month..

St Vitus Cathedral, at Prague castle, in the cold winter sunlight.

I should, for once stop being so negative and count my blessings, January is not so bad, it has it's positives, like;

* January is the deadest month of the year, and if you are working in the tourist industry, which I do, it makes the work day a little more laid back, and if you are something of a lazy person, which I am, that is a blessing.

Especially now, as late last year a combination of poor management and Prague bureaucracy took our main sales team out of the most prolific locations of the city and for us it's even quieter than usual this year. It also means the company is downsizing which is going to be a complete disaster for me but we can't have everything.

*It's winter so there's snow, although there hasn't been any snow.

*All the shows come back after the Christmas/New Year hiatus, at least by late Jan.

That's all I got. Still sucks.

Don't bother reading I don't have anything joyful to report...

It's January. Notoriously a dreary, miserable, grey and drizzly time, or if in the southern hemisphere a dreary, blazing, boiling and if in a certain part* of that hemisphere in a certain year** literally on fire, dreary, miserable with bad air to boot....  whatever that means.

This January does not disappoint, by which I mean... it's pretty disappointing, or more accurately, totally sucky.

My whine is a perfectly mundane one so I can't even grasp any relief from the idea of being the heroine of my own dark, romantic tale. I mean I could, but that would be like, totally lame.

Money problems, continued lack of dreams being realized, more money problems, trying to step up and do the responsible thing regarding said money problems and having it get in the way of the aforementioned as of yet unrealized dreams. That one really pissed me off, I mean, I wouldn't have gotten that casting because out of all the relatively many but still too infrequent castings I go to I never get them, but still..

It's like this. If I had done it there's a 0% chance I would have gotten it, but that I couldn't do it because I had to rush off to work after agreeing to cover a shift for someone the evening before because of the money problems I have already alluded to as well as the sense of responsibility I mentioned, and they decided to invite me to the casting just after I'd agreed to work.. I didn't get to do it.

If they'd been organized, I would have had a number that corresponded more to the time I arrived, ie really early, and if the director had been there on time it may have happened and I would know that my failure to get the role was entirely my own fuckup/forgetability/face and I could rest easy, this way, I'll never know.

I felt so good about myself getting up early to go there and then to work, and what do I get for it? Nothing! Why even bother.

I mean it's not like it was a great role and it wasn't all that well paid and this agency has been calling me more regularly recently but dammit, I was good I want my reward!

Fucking January! I want it gone.. and I don't want to hear about how January's nice, it's a fresh start, and the weather is nice where you live because it's cooler or your birthday is in January.. I'm sorry you're wrong the month officially sucks and it's all going to be over with in 15 days and I won't have to deal with this shit anymore because it's Jan's fault.***


*the exact spot I'm from, which had a day that reached 48.9 C at least one day.
**2020
***except for the debt which won't be paid off by then, and the continued lack of ambitions realized and oh, the other stuff.