It's January. Notoriously a dreary, miserable, grey and drizzly time, or if in the southern hemisphere a dreary, blazing, boiling and if in a certain part* of that hemisphere in a certain year** literally on fire, dreary, miserable with bad air to boot.... whatever that means.
This January does not disappoint, by which I mean... it's pretty disappointing, or more accurately, totally sucky.
My whine is a perfectly mundane one so I can't even grasp any relief from the idea of being the heroine of my own dark, romantic tale. I mean I could, but that would be like, totally lame.
Money problems, continued lack of dreams being realized, more money problems, trying to step up and do the responsible thing regarding said money problems and having it get in the way of the aforementioned as of yet unrealized dreams. That one really pissed me off, I mean, I wouldn't have gotten that casting because out of all the relatively many but still too infrequent castings I go to I never get them, but still..
It's like this. If I had done it there's a 0% chance I would have gotten it, but that I couldn't do it because I had to rush off to work after agreeing to cover a shift for someone the evening before because of the money problems I have already alluded to as well as the sense of responsibility I mentioned, and they decided to invite me to the casting just after I'd agreed to work.. I didn't get to do it.
If they'd been organized, I would have had a number that corresponded more to the time I arrived, ie really early, and if the director had been there on time it may have happened and I would know that my failure to get the role was entirely my own fuckup/forgetability/face and I could rest easy, this way, I'll never know.
I felt so good about myself getting up early to go there and then to work, and what do I get for it? Nothing! Why even bother.
I mean it's not like it was a great role and it wasn't all that well paid and this agency has been calling me more regularly recently but dammit, I was good I want my reward!
Fucking January! I want it gone.. and I don't want to hear about how January's nice, it's a fresh start, and the weather is nice where you live because it's cooler or your birthday is in January.. I'm sorry you're wrong the month officially sucks and it's all going to be over with in 15 days and I won't have to deal with this shit anymore because it's Jan's fault.***
*the exact spot I'm from, which had a day that reached 48.9 C at least one day.
**2020
***except for the debt which won't be paid off by then, and the continued lack of ambitions realized and oh, the other stuff.
1.16.2020
Don't bother reading I don't have anything joyful to report...
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4 comments:
I bothered to read it!
I won't commiserate with you, or offer platitudes designed to comfort. If you're anything like me you'll be pissed off big-time should I dare.
I have to say though, as recent posts have gone, this one is a whopper :)
Why hello, good to see you here at this here "whopper" which I've learned, thanks to the dictionary, is a noun (informal) which means:
a) A thing that is extremely or unusually large
or
b) A gross or blatant lie.
Synonyms include but are not limited to; colossus,brute, monstrosity, lie, fabrication, sham, yarn, terminological inexactitude and pork pie.
All good to know.
I was referring to its size, of course :)
Yes, I figured that, I didn't think you'd accuse me of lying, and the post is hardly the style of something made up... I just felt like presenting all definitions, in fairness to the English language.
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