Monday, January 26, 2015


I know I talk a lot about these distractions. You might know too if you pay attention at all. I need them to deal with the fact that I'm an overthinker by nature and have come to the conclusion that life is utterly pointless.. There is no meaning, it just is. Now that I can deal with just fine as long as.. dum da da da da.. I don't think about it. there you go, a quandary. how does one deal with one while being the other.. yes, that's right. Get your mind on something. Put the life, universe and all that jazz to the back of your mind. Deep down, if you're going to nitpick it until it's meaningless, we all do this. People have things that may obsess them, or fill their time with joy and meaning that are, when you get down to it, ways of getting through life, warding off the idea that it's just something that goes by until it ends. Now as I said.. it's very nitpicky because if people have children and make art and save lives and go around the world feeding the poor and millions of other things that are various degree of important and that has meaning for people well then there's your meaning and that's great, but sort of, in a way, they sort of that as well. Anyway.. no such noble kinds for me. Mine are all of the beer and tv variety. In fact.. that's what they are, beer and tv. ok so maybe not exactly just that all the time, but most that or something equivalent. I'd love to divert myself with big projects.. theatre, film, helping street kids, writing, you get the general drift but I'm having trouble a) getting those sorts of roles/jobs, b) getting them started myself or with people who are trying to get those started too or c) not really all that fussed. So, it's the time wasting, useless, rather not own up I really do that kind of pursuits for me. Now, I just need it more than ever. Yes, I have this whole got to get things done thing going on, which is neither good or bad it just is, but what to do when I'm not doing those things and/or doing those things and things just don't get done or they go so slowly it's accurate enough to say it's not getting done? All I want to do is.. just not think about it. I'll leave it at that.


Anonymous said...

There you have it in a nutshell. The "meaning of life" is simply what you give it and so it varies from person to person. But are some lives more meaningful than others? I'd say categorically, no! You can't compare, each is different, so it's like to trying to compare apples with oranges. Besides, I've concluded that those we consider to be "high achievers" are driven, in the extreme. Obsessed with their project, to the exclusion of everything else. I've also concluded, this obsession looks cool from the outside looking in, but has a personal cost to the driven. It may sound like a form of sour grapes, but in a lot of ways, I'm glad I'm me. Where I fall down in terms of "achievement" is in not being highly motivated. But I comfort myself with the knowledge that my less than modest achievements are pretty awesome considering my lack of effort, which on a scale of 0 to 10, has always hovered perilously close to zero. Oh well, open a couple of beers and I'll join you in a drink. Here's to you and happy, safe, distractions! Cheers!

Michelle said...

Thanks a lot, yes, you're right. I'm pretty sure I agree with all of that, but to be honest I'm not sure what point I was making, I think it was just more wallowing disguised as something more clever, maybe.

I had a whole post written in my head in the morning after writing the comments for the other one that had some deep insights and clever imagery bla bla bla that of course I totally forgot by the time I bothered to write it down, and I'm afraid all of that is lost forever.. but maybe it's a good sign, I haven't had that particular woe for a while so.. I dunno.. not that it really matters..

Anonymous said...

Seemed like a cogent opinion to me.

Ha! I have those moments too, great ideas for a post, which I'll write later, but some "later", I have nothing to offer.


Anonymous said...

* come not some :)