I wrote earlier about the new improved Conservative bible. It's not done yet, but they (The Conservapedia people or as I refer to them for short "Conservapedes") present me with a dilemma. How do I translate random bible verses taken out of context when it's (sorta) been done for me? Yes, that's a rhetorical questions, and the answer is whatever I'll do it anyway, but this time I'll take a verse out of their book, and do it. Worth a try.
I should pick a random one but for this special occasion I'm going to begin at the beginning, in Genesis. I'm going use verse 2:21:
So God created gigantic sea creatures, and made the waters teem with every moving creature after its kind, and every winged bird after its kind. God approved it because it was good.a. (Not really a translation, it's the Conservapedia analysis) "The largest of sea creatures included more than the great whales. They also included several species of marine dinosaurs, at least two of which (the Loch Ness creature and "Predator X", identified in the Bible as "Leviathan") survived the Great Flood." :) kay...
b. And like, this giant sea dragon rose out of the water and grew and grew and it like flew off and turned pink and offered us sausages and then disappeared in a puff of smoke and dude.. what is this shit this shit is good!
c. Actually this really happened, it's a metaphor for evolution, see, life started in the sea right? That can't be a coincidence.. or maybe creation really is real.. I'm a bit confused but whatever it is God totally did it.
Um.. yeah. Whatev.