I shouldn't count my chickens..

but I am, a little bit. So, my acting "career" has pretty much dried up before I even started it, and I haven't done anything, I mean not a damn thing, not a minute in some friend's practice scene or a bit of improvised street theatre or a goofy cabaret act in some bar or a 42 second long self made self acted self shot film or a voiceover for a teaching video or a fuzzy blip in the background of an ad for flannel rags or a non speaking background role in an indescribable piece of theatre with over 50 cast members or a wife in a student film... nothing. I was in despair that I wouldn't act in a single thing this year, and that was vexing, very very vexing. Oh I got offers. Like, 2, both for the mother and the wife respectively. I don't mean a character with a story that does stuff who happens to be a wife or a mother, or even "a" wife or "a" mother, it was for "the" mother/wife. Both very small roles and both cast as about my age. Why would someone cast me as someone my own age!!! I look younger.. I swear I do, everyone tells me I do... I do I do I do!!!! anyway.. both of them were for like, the next week and obviously days I was working at my ob which I've quit but still have because I work almost every day of the week at this job and the likelihood of them happening to be shooting on my day off was small. I mean, I'd like to be in a position where I'd calmly turn down a tiny non speaking role of the mother of the person who is the person who has a story in the film and be confident that I've moved on from that sort of thing and can do better but.. as I said, done nothing for ages, so I would have accepted them, except, finding someone to cover you for a tour that hardly anyone at the company does.. not easy. So, no go. Anyway now I'm in one, next week. It's for a mother but it seems like it's more "a" mother than "the" mother, age unspecified, and they contacted me in enough time to request those days off, so I'm in it. So.. that's it, if nothing else happens between now and December 31, I've at least been in one this year. Of course, haven't done it yet so perhaps I'll have to return those chickens yet. Will let know.

Parenting experience.

Obviously I have none. Not being a parent, or a guardian of any sort or even a godparent whatever that is, or anything like that. I have very little experience looking after or really being around children, know nothing about them, and if they're not old enough to form something resembling a coherent sentence that a conversation can be made from, ie at least 3, so I can talk to them on their level, I just don't get them.

Well perhaps that's not true, I've played a mother a few times now and to be perfectly humble, I fucking rocked it. I mean I was pretending, that's what you do, and I'm good at it, but you know, following a script and being caring and shit to some kid you don't know and beaming at them.. got that down, what more is there to it? I mean, you fix some beans and wipe noses every now and again, I can do that too.

Oh I'm not suggesting I procure some of these critters, I just can't be fucked with that and it's probably too late anyway, but I think it makes me expert enough to tell people how to bring up their kids, how they're doing everything wrong, and that they need to stop doing most of what they're doing, particularly when it involves something that may at some time be a minor inconvenience to me. Considering I'm all clever and shit in the first place, now with all this experience, it's a no brainer.

Well today I was playing what would generally be considered a bad mother, who smokes and flirts with men and everything, and actually I've played a prostitute more times and I obviously don't reflect that in anyway, probably a nurse too, and I can barely bandage a finger so, maybe parenting advice isn't my thing. I do like the idea of setting people right about the way they live their lives, what they think and the way they do things though.. maybe I'll just get a blog.