Friday, March 27, 2015

Fix what?

So life goes on. It seems to be going well, for the most part, as long as I keep everything relating to reality in the back of my mind, which I am. I shall continue to ignore it all as long as it can be ignored. It's what I do. So, pretty much, it needs to be fixed? What needs fixing? Well everything, different things, conflicting things. Everything, you know, my life, the one that's kinda going well, it actually fucked. That's the bit I'm ignoring. There's so much to be fixed I don't even know where to start, I make some tiny steps toward sorting something out and in the process shove some of the other mess onto the mess pile making the other messes bigger. At least I think I am, I'm not sure because as I've mentioned, I'm trying my best to ignore it. It's the usual stuff. Well usual for me which you'd know if I ever bothered with details.. stuff about work, about money, about living space about survival, relationships which have been pretty loosely defined in my life recently, all of it is totally fucked, all of it, and totally. But that's cool, I'm coping. I'm doing small things here and there to mitigate the extent of the disaster but really, when there's so much and it's coming at you from all directions what can you really do? Well drinking helps. I mean it doesn't help but it's part of what one has been doing. And all that goes along with that. I'll check back in a little bit and see how it all turns out.

1 comment:

lekkerman said...

Big changes are difficult. I lost my job and my mom within 6 months. Now I'm trying to deal with more spare time than I'm used to. It's ironic isn't it, how having all the time in the world can paralyse you? Seems to me you have some kind of structure to you days. I suspect that's the way to go. Anyway, I hope things improve soon. Hugs