Lights, camera...

etc etc etc.

Been shooting this latest film for the last two days and well.. I really need to be doing this like.. all the time, literally, all the time, it's just been fucking awesome.

Well.. except for the being presented as old and unattractive and being told in a non direct and ok a very roundabout way that I'm old and unattractive and being made to feel like I'm old and unattractive for some reason.. can't figure that out, in the company of not one, but 2 people who I work with..

and having to repeatedly drink sometimes with a huge gulp this "wine" that is, fake red wine, first some very slightly diluted syrup and then cranberry juice which was considerably better but the damage had been done so it made me slightly.. er... woozy.

And having to puke on someone, well, not actually puke, fake puke but that was probably the most fun bit so I'll add it to the list of pros... now that I think about it.

But it was awesome. It was fun, despite much wooziness, and having to wait around for some tedious bits, and it's just great to be FUCKING DOING IT already.. again, for once. After too long.. too fucking long.

A bit more shooting left tomorrow.. and then it's all over until next time.

I know I keep banging on about this..

perhaps not here but in general.. but now I see I'm being cast opposite someone I know from work for this role.. the one where I play the aging unattractive woman meeting some super hot guy.. and well.. for fucks sake.. it's only a tiny step down from being the boring wife who has half a page dedicated to describing how unbelievably average she is, and then getting cast opposite someone who's 60....

still..

*feels somewhat uncomfortable and stuff*

Can you believe it, our toilet door just locked itself from the inside. Well.. it did last night, and it's still locked despite the fiddling around and even some professional work from a few people.

Of all fucking things to fuck us up at this point, who'd think it would be the door from hell. It's a bit uncomfortable as you can imagine.. I mean.. we can pee in the shower.. like.. yeah.. a bit undignified but you gotta do what you gotta do.. but, it's not exactly ideal...

now we have to wait for the landlord to get home from Croatia so we can decide whether we can break the door or not.

A brief break from my time wasting existence..

Actually got cast in a movie.. woo hoo! About time.. been ages since I was cast as a boring unattractive woman who's husband wants to murder her... last year, on the coldest day in December.. *sighs*

now.. I'll be playing a boring unattractive woman who goes out with a super hot guy...

I may have mentioned something along the lines of this before. Well.. I'm quite happy to be back in the game.. so to speak, and feel like my life is meaningful and has purpose and that I'm going somewhere.. even if the feeling only lasts a few days.

It's the little things..

the seemingly insignificant stuff, the minor points... that really piss me off. And the stuff that seems to matter to others.. like, some pissing about with lanterns, that isn't really my fault but I still get blamed for being useless.. I do a shit hot tour, and the people love it but.. she doesn't know that, she just sees me not able to light it, because it was fucked up, and then almost leave it behind. And then some assholes complain about the tour... because some idiots at the hotels that are selling it misrepresent it.. yeah they name me, saying I was "unconvincing" whatever that means, but the other people on that particular one thought I was brilliant, so obvs they're just saying that because they want to complain.. but, still looks like I fucked up, another black mark against my name even though, yet again, I fucking rocked the bit that really matters...

there are other little things.. like the only roles I get offered are ones that make a huge point of spelling out how unattractive this character is.. I mean, fine, you don't have to rave about her beauty, or even describe how she looks.. just call her, woman of certain age range, who this story happens to.. no, it's gotta be "she's average at best".. and let it be known that this woman is nothing special.. it's like the director has to apologize to the world for letting someone like her, ie me, onto a film... lest they feel cheated at being made to see over 30 not super hot woman or something..

some things are ok, in fact things are fine at the mo.. despite the whole comedown of being away for a while.. but like I said.. little things...

bout time I put up a pic..

from this trip thing..

Vancouver.

Kay so I'm home.

It was a long trip. Long flight to London, not a fun landing. Through all the security bullshit, though we were just transferring. Long wait, well it always seems to take so long, at London. A not so long flight to Berlin, but still. A not fun wait in a long line for goodness knows what in Berlin which turned out to be the passport control which was quite fast.. then the wait for baggage which shouldn't have been long or a wait at all as they were already there, I just couldn't get them because of the crowd of people camped out in front of the conveyor belt including a small child who's mother bothered to call her away from there right after we got out bags. Thanks.

Then the cramming onto the airport bus, being unceremoniously told to move back so we got separated.. s-bahn and walk to our boat. Oh we stayed on a boat, it was quite nice. So after this long, hot and annoying day, we rest a bit, freshen up, go outside and it's raining.

We had to walk because we had to eat, and we needed to change money too. It was late so there was nowhere to exchange. It would have been a nice walk though, if it hadn't been raining, and we weren't so hungry, but it was raining, and we were really hungry.

Finally withdrew some cash, got a falafel and went back. Finally unwound on the bar at the hostel.. on the boat with beer and some cheesy music.

Went back on the train the next day, which was yesterday. That was ok, spose. Now I'm home, and just back from work. I'd quite like another holiday actually.

Well.. it seems I'm almost going home.

I've been here forever, "literally" forever. That is, about 10 days... anyway I'm off tomorrow evening.. to fly to London to fly to Berlin and hang out there for an eve and then go home.. and back to work, and other things that are a clusterfuck of fuckedupness that I need to sort out which I don't want to think about but for today, I'm still in Vancouver.

So.. been to a wedding, a bunch more brunches and lunches and dinners and barbecues, some were fun, some were meh, met a whole fuckload of new people.. at least I think I did because I vaguely remember these people things, anyway I don't remember most of them.

Went to the beach, actually dipped into the water though it was really cold and... some other stuff, wandered around the city, a few bars. Hung around this house a lot. Seems like I've been here forever.. it will be so strange to leave.

Took a lot of photos too.