Sunday, April 09, 2017

Plugging along

I'm still going with my for want of a better word project, which is, to upload a video every day. I've passed the 50 mark and I had a beer for a celebration of that. I'm tentatively pleased with my sorta success, I mean, I've done one every day, haven't managed to upload every single one the same day but I mostly have, some of the videos are kind of interesting but mostly they're quite forgettable, and the quality is what you'd expect from a crappy digital camera with no extra equipment, or particular skill on the part of the video maker so it's a mixed bag of... stuff.

I was kind of hoping by this point that the videos would be, if not good at least not too embarrassing and occasionally quite good at least in presentation of a good idea or even better, my unmatchable wit and charm but even my vanity (the part of me that is uncensored by the modesty I present to the world) can't claim that. They're just a bunch of videos done quickly, for myself for my own purposes and they're not particularly bad for what they are.

My limitations, some which I've already mentioned, lack of experience, training, equipment, sometimes even time on the card when I'm filming out and about all contribute to the lack of anything to write home about so far. Other things may include my lack of ability to do anything great, which I must realistically admit as a possibility, but one reason I know doesn't help is my damned laziness. I mean, I'm motivated enough to go through with this idea and to stick to it, but not quite enough to do anything properly, most of my recent vids, and well, the majority of the last 51 (52 if you count today's as yet unedited) have been the best idea I could come up with that would take the least effort. In a way it's a microcosm for the story of my life, but in this case it's keeping me from greatness, or slightly better than I am ness.

I have many ideas, some which I think are quite good, some which won't (and haven't) look as good on video as in my head but I have them, ideas for series, more important stuff, but my laziness and this weird anxiety(there it is again) that keeps me from pushing slightly out of my weird wobbly comfort zone stop me from filming them. Maybe I'm afraid exactly of that, the ideas coming out looking flat and dull, maybe I don't want to use what is actually a good idea until I'm ready to do justice to it. Maybe it's all these things. It's all these things. That's too many things. No wonder I can't get anything done. Not true I'm getting it done I'm just not getting it done well. Oh well 52 videos (assuming I upload one today) is nothing to sneeze at. Why would you sneeze at a video anyway? That would be ludicrous.


Anonymous said...

I sometimes read stuff regarding creativity, and currently I'm halfway though a book, entitled, Think Like an Artist:... and Lead a More Creative, Productive Life. I know, I know, but that's just me, I've become more of a fantasiser rather than a doer, anyway... this geezer reckons Artists don't have failures, all their works are just stepping stones towards potentially better stuff. So maybe you should look at your videos in this way. Let's also get some perspective here: 50 plus movies is super-prolific when compared to the stuff I do (or should I say - don't do). Bravo!

Michelle said...

well when you look at it that way. In some ways, I've been quite prolific, I've written I've photographed I've acted in, I've even played music and I've done much much of most of these things. That it's generally the least effort version of any of them and the quality is whatever the quality is, some might even be good but yeah, done a lot. I think I lost whatever structure that sentence had but you might be able to keep up with some of it.

Anonymous said...

Anyway, I think it's natural never to be happy with what we've done, always thinking it could be done better. From what I've read and heard, even the most successful of Artists think this way too. Here is a question: when is a painting finished? Answer: never! It seems painters simply have to drag themselves away from their work at some point for fear of pressing on with it ad infinitum. I think this probably applies to all other creative pursuits too.

Michelle said...

I think so. I mean in pretty much every creative pursuit, the more complicated it gets the more so there are so many decisions to make along the way, which way will the story go, does this rhyme that sounds better here but doesn't allow me to use another word in another place that would be ideal, probably the same for musical notes if any of this is valid which I don't know never really wrote songs but for example, what do you cut in edit etc etc and more. There's always one way you could have gone and well often many and you choose the one you do for whatever reason, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's the best, and there's always the possibility that it could be better. Whenever I'm writing something that requires a bit of editing, ie something entirely different than one of my blog posts I know that every time I come back and go over it I change something, sometimes I change something back to what I had before the last edit because like the aforementioned painting, it's never quite right. And so with everything else.