Friday, May 29, 2015

The setup

So, here I am. I don't know where to start really. I think I have something permanent, if I choose to and let's face it when it comes down to it I'm quite boring, I want to just settle and have everything be comfortable. One day it will be. Not that it isn't comfortable now but it's not all that comfortable if you know what I mean. Ok it's ok, it's just a mess, a huge mess. I have no furniture or I have not much furniture or I don't have the specific right kinds of furniture and that's my excuse if I had that I wouldn't be living in a mess oh no.. a mess.. not me? Ok so I would, and I will be, even when that day comes when I have all the very most basic things I need to have a real room, because that's who I am, and who I shall continue to be, whatever else happens along the way. It's been ok. It might be alright, possibly even good. Who knows.


lekkerman said...

"Being boring" is a point of view only, not a fact. Personally, I think you're pretty cool, always have done, but I don't expect you to believe that. Anyway, for what it's worth, in my humble experience online, I've been considered by various people at various times to be dull, creepy, rude, obscene, amusing, adorable (yep, I kid you not), fascinating, clever, arrogant, pushy, demanding, and much much more. So who's right? None, I'd say. Even I don't know. All I can do is continue being myself. And of course, I try hard to consort only with those who view me positively :)

When I was in my early forties, I found myself living alone, in an unfurnished apartment, save for a fold-away bed someone kindly donated. I was jobless too, receiving a mere pittance in welfare benefits, my days spent doing little except for walking dog Ruby, and going for a daily run. Anyway, the thing is (though I appreciate I might be viewing this through rose-tinted spectacles) I was content, or as near as dammit, and only through my own stupidity (I got a job) did this end (but that's a story for another time, a blog post perhaps). It was kind of scary, but exciting too, and I was still young enough to view life as open-ended with infinite possibilities.

So what's my point? None really, I certainly don't want to preach. It's just that the description of your current situation reminded me of that time, that's all. And please don't think I'm suggesting that we're in anyway alike, god forbid that I'd insult you so :)

Seeking comfort is cool in my view. Getting out of our comfort zones is all very well, but sustained high-adrenalin activity is a sure-fire way of dying young, and that is definitely uncool! It's nice to have our own little haven, a place where we can retreat to, to be alone, to recharge our batteries.

Fuck! Don't I ramble? It's worse than it's ever been, and I blame being retired. I have more free time than I know what to do with. Maybe I should get out more. Anyway, welcome back, and don't be frightened to post in future, for I promise, I'll reduce my comments to a manageable few sentences :)

I wish you all the luck in the future :)

Michelle said...

well.. thank you. It's good to have what one does and fully intends to continue to do, if one is able to, validated, and, yeah that.

I'm looking forward to hearing more from you.. now that you've gone and admitted that you have plenty of time.. whatever happened to that blog(s) of yours? I remember you used to do that, off and on.

lekkerman said...

I find it easier to write comments than actual posts. With a post, I always feel I have to do it to a high standard, a standard I can't meet. So instead, I comment. It's fucking crazy I know, but that's how it is. I've lost count of all the posts I've abandoned.

I'm more than happy to show up a little more, on your blog that is. Generally speaking, I find commenting on your posts easy, as I feel I know you well enough to just let go. Well... almost :)