Drowning em in a vat...

I went to the all new Meisner Technique classes the other night.. similar-ish to those I did a few years ago, but not the same. Well.. it's a little bit hard to tell at this point.. I'm way back at the beginning in baby step phase.. although this class skips over some of the very first steps.. of which there are many.

Anyway.. all I did was some of the simplest stuff, the stuff I don't remember being all that hard.. I mean it was, yeah, but the stuff that came after is what I think of when I remember the anguish I used to go through in relation to the class... so I thought it would be relatively easy.

Well.. not really. Although I've done this before.. and this particular bit, simple repetition.. quite a lot.. I haven't done it for some time.. and really, was never any good at all at any of the very kernel of Meisner Technique stuff which is.. you know what I don't fucking know. Generally being honest, being open, being vibrant, alive, letting your emotions out. Stuff that I'm not, not in this context anyway.

I mean it's hard, it's really really hard. It's stuff that's totally unnatural for the average person to do without a lot of practice though it seem simple to the point of child stuff... and the new people in the class were struggling quite a lot too.. but, I thought I'd maybe get just a tiny bit more.. not a lot, but a bit more seeing as I studied this thing for a fucking year already.. but no. No more than the average total beginner.. and really.. less than most it seems.

Not less than all.. some of the people have a problem of overthinking this "let it all go and show your true emotions" technique... everyone does but some more than others.. I do more than others I think, and the teacher always makes a point of telling some of the guys (always guys) that some people are just really intelligent people.. thinkers.. and that's why they have so much trouble with it. Not the worst thing in the world someone can accuse you of.. if you have to be criticized for not doing something properly.

That's not what he said to me.. na.. I'm just repressed.. boring.. afraid.. stuff like that. Not necessarily in so many words, but the overall gist is that I'm pretty limited in my natural ability to do this stuff and by extension acting in general and have nice long list of negative but not at all interesting personality flaws to think about.

Other than that it went great. A lot of interesting people who I've never met before are in the class and at least half of them will stick with it for the next couple of weeks, it puts me back in the scene.. sorta, and I might actually get better doing this.. ya know.. learn something.

Well anyway it's harvest time. Vinobrani this weekend... which to be honest, interests me ore than anything else at the moment. *burps*